Learn how
to Swirl
How to date, mate and relate. Mixing race, culture and creed.
The holiday season is again upon us and during this season many of us will either be hosting a fabulous party or two or the guest of one. Whether you are the guest or the host/hostess, being gracious is the key to having a good time and enjoying the festivities. Regardless on what side of the table you stand consider the following suggestions for smooth flowing festivities.
Vivica A. Fox versus Crystal Wright on BET’s Don’t Sleep once again depicts Black women in constant competition with one another. Political debate aside, both women made fools of themselves.
I maintain that black femininity is under attack. The question is asked, “Well, what is black femininity?” The answer as far as I’m concerned is femininity in a woman who is black. But of course that’s far too simplistic an answer for such a complex issue….or is it?
“We on sites like this one want better than misery. We are not dumb, we have eyes and we know what we have been through and what so many of our fellow black women are going through. We question the reasons why and attempt to set a course of action to live full and happy lives on our own terms. We want no parts of the grand delusion that others attempt to sell to us. We know better.”
Not only does paying a good compliment reflect good breeding and proper etiquette, studies show it’s sometimes just as good as cold, hard cash.
First and foremost, please spare me the conspiracy theories, the abstract philosophies, or anything that tries to put shackles around my arms and legs in the year 2012. I am an American. And last time I checked, the period in the United States where it was perfectly legal to own black women as slaves is over.
How many times have you been out on a dinner date, looked at the wine list, couldn’t pronounce anything, so just order the vodka? No? Just me?
On the national stage, black women must “represent,” not with hair, but with a gracious and refined attitude, ESPECIALLY when it sucks.
I have learned by experience that because people are always watching you and making internal judgments, it is wise to be aware of your outward presentation. The little things can send a big message.
“What is this love affair that many black women have with dysfunction and misery? So dedicated to this non-sense that they will not only do anything to defend it, they will attack any woman with resentment and hostility who seeks out more positive alternatives.”
“Let’s just get to the point: What are you doing, Taffi? Why are you protecting Creflo and allowing your daughters to be condemned by the world as belligerent, wild, liars, troublemakers and tools of Satan?”
“As long as Black women continue to accept their subordinate status in the Black community, Black people will continue their descent into the gutter. Any community that is too foolish to listen to the voices of the women is doomed for failure. I learned the hard way that being a Race Woman has a high price and I cannot afford to do so any longer. No longer will I defend the actions of men who do not give a rat’s ass about women who look like me or my daughters.”
“The polite poisoner comes in the form of “the voice of reason” with a civil manner, a person that offers an “alternate point of view” or in the role of “devil’s advocate”. They do not call you a b*tch or a wh*re or threaten you outright. But if you read between the lines, not only are they insulting your intelligence, it’s very clear that their goal is to use, manipulate, and undermine you.”