Don’t Date Massa!! A Note On Slavery And Swirling

Don’t Date Massa!! A Note On Slavery And Swirling

The people who spend so much time talking about the legacy of slavery are so wrapped up in their own faulty thinking that they fail to notice that for some black women and children slavery isn’t a legacy, it’s a daily reality.

Author : Jamila Akil

Author's Website | Articles from

Quick! Think Fast! Which nation was the last to abolish slavery?

Hint: It wasn’t the United States of America.

Answer: Mauritania.

Mauritania was the last nation to abolish slavery–in 1981! Yes, you read that year correctly, it was 1981 that West African nation of Mauritania abolished slavery. And it wasn’t until 1997 that slavery was criminalized. Despite the laws to abolish slavery and criminalize the act of keeping a slave, only 1 person in the country has been successfully prosecuted for slave-holding despite the fact that 10 to 20 percent of Mauritania’s inhabitants are believed to be enslaved.

I’ll let you guess what color the bulk of Mauritania’s slave holders and slaves are.

What does this have to do with swirling? Well, a common argument from the anti-swirl crew is that a black women should not date white men because of the West’s history of enslaving African’s. But slavery has long been criminalized in the West–although it tragically still occurs in many parts of the world, included a smattering of it in Western nations. The “You can’t date a white man” line of thinking makes all white men out to be slave masters–despite the fact that they never owned slaves; White men are painted into the role of perpetual victimizer while black women (and, really, by extension all black people) are perpetual victims.

The people who spend so much time talking about the legacy of slavery are so wrapped up in their own faulty thinking that they fail to notice that for some black women and children slavery isn’t a legacy, it’s a daily reality.

What I like to refer to as the “Don’t Date Massa” argument is old, it’s tiring, and at this point it should be ineffective.

When the “Don’t Date Massa” crew starts talking, tell them they should spend more time watching CNN and less time talking to you.

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iHeartLove 805 pts

Massa?...wth. Learn all sorts or new things on this site.

Maxine 1006 pts

I find it interesting that the slavery argument comes up most often in regard to bw/wm relationships.  I've never heard anyone say "You dropped out of school?!  You're sucking up to Massa because you know he doesn't want us to get ahead."  Or, "You eat chitterlings?  Massa wants us to eat the food he throws away and get heart disease."  Or how about "You didn't vote?!  But Massa wants us to stay home and not have a voice!"  So obviously these people don't care about behaviors that are actually damaging to black people, or behavior that would honor our ancestors by exercising freedoms that they never had.  

MissFLondon 667 pts

 Maxine It's comments like these that make me think it's a shame that there's no LOVE button.

Spot on, really.

Maxine 1006 pts

 MissFLondon Thanks, MissFlondon!

HarlemGirl 216 pts

 Maxine excellent !! it not about freedom it is about  the free nookie they (the men) are no longer getting!  The women? stupid sistah solidering at it's finest and they too are hypcrites in this argument! My ex was a Popular radio personality in the 1990's  and he worked with a BW who wore a dashiki and talked about empowering black women but he found out later her lover was an older white man and one of the sex role play games they played was "massa and slave" GO FIGURE!!

josie31441 29 pts

gag me with a spoon...let's move on people...I have sailed so far past this...people of the same ethnic group are racist towards each other...now that is what we need to take a gander it...

MissFLondon 667 pts

As nasty as these types of sentiments are, I rather like to hear them, as it's good for a girl to know which people to ignore. Idiots tend to reveal themselves early on, handy!!!

yvonnelee 195 pts

I can’t stand black people that act like they just stepped off the plantation field. Our ancestors were slaves not us. They need to stop playing the victim.

 

I have a lot of Mauritian friends as their culture is quite similar to Caribbean cultures. I can't believe slavery was abolished in 1981 over there.  

playa30 6 pts

 yvonnelee You are very blind. We never left the plantation. They just expanded the borders. They replaced the whips and chains with a billy club and hand cuffs. This is new age slavery. Just take a look around you and see what's really going on. If you can't see where i'm coming from then you must not be black or you under that Willie Lynch Syndrome.

Toni_M 20055 pts moderator

 playa30  yvonnelee I'm gonna stop your "dog and pony pity party show" before you get started.

 

If you want to live on the plantation, that's your business. There are no slaves here.

 

Beat it.

HarlemGirl 216 pts

Don't date "massa", but keep on getting impregnated by Ray Ray, Skillet, and Pookie and work three jobs to feed his offspring while he plays Houdini to punch another knotch in your "Black Card"  YEAH that makes total sense!!!

Veron 1412 pts

I know this is not entirely (or at all, really) related to the post, but people with this mindset are totally rocks in a bucket, and not affecting anyone save for those who are silly enough to allow themselves to be affected. I know this because, at least in in the Northeast, commercials and general media have been showing TONS of interracial relating, almost exclusively with black women as the object of interest.  I  don't know if I'm noticing it just because it's an issue that resonates with me, but I DON'T EVEN OWN OR WATCH TV save for if I'm in someone else's house and their tv is on, and I've been seeing so many commercials where a non-black man is either just going about his day to day with his black wife/girlfriend:

(Ikea commercial, jumping into a mattress full of clouds and love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxwWqkZS114&feature=player_embedded

 

)or with his interracial child (Bank of america, cash back rewards... I can't find it. I only looked for half a second though, so it's probably out there somewhere)

 

And most recently, this dodge commercial with cute people and rear-view mirror flirtation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNlHnX3STX8

 

Media is always ahead of the shift, and companies wouldn't be advertising to a nonexistent demographic. Seeing these commercials every time I look at a tv, which is like twice a month, just proves that culturally... or at least in the north east... we're moving past the ignorance.

Brenda55 20926 pts moderator

 Veron I am also seeing this.  I was in the bank recently.  Citizens and one of the posters featured a white man and black women couple advertising the rates of a home improvement loan. I also see this combination for several local stores and restaurants.

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@Veron I have seen this so much lately, it's almost becoming common & I'm loving it. We were out in the Skagit Valley today for the Tulip Festival, I saw two more IRR couples with bw/non-bm one younger, one a little older. I didn't see more bw there but the two I saw were in IRs. I know ppl may not like it but we're more common and getting more common. It's awesome!

Toni_M 20055 pts

 Veron Same, there was also this cute Glade Plug-in commercial. I'm definitely noticing it more and more.

The Working Home Keeper 6963 pts

 Veron Just saw the Dodge commercial this weekend during the NASCAR race and was telling my husband about it.  Love it!

MissFLondon 667 pts

 The Working Home Keeper 

 

And we are forgetting the most important aspect - These companies are not all Generation- X type advertisers. Larger companies, such as banks tend to be rather conservative and inoffensive with their advertising, as they have a larger and broader audience to appease.

 

I'm not jumping up and down for the gold seal of approval, but acknowledgement is never a bad thing. Also the most troublesome people when it comes to interracial dating are also the most ignorant - they are happy to go with whatever they see in the press so perhaps interracial couples getting neutral, non controversial airtime might ease the issue that some have (a long shot I know)

VintageNarcissa 3152 pts

The bottom line the whole "don't date massa" complex derives solely from their own self-imposed limitations in their own lives. People who believe in that I honestly believe subconsciously see themselves as slaves. That is the only way I can fathom someone being okay with having that mind set. A man who takes on this belief, takes on the role of a slave who is forced to watch his wife being raped by a slave master, and projects this image onto every bw/wm couple he sees. A woman who takes on this belief, takes on the role of a slave woman who is fearful of being raped, and projects this image onto every bw/wm couple she sees. It's a perverted empathy. It's a delusion. And stems from the community wide Stockholm syndrome from which many black suffer. Which is why they love their abusers and attack those actually trying to help or give them a away out. It is purely psychological. 

EarthJeff 3569 pts

 VintageNarcissa Well said...

Brice Cameron 2262 pts

I don't think we can take the blame or credit for anything our ancestors or people who share our ethnicity have done.  I don't feel any guilt over slavery.  But I also don't claim any credit for inventing airplanes or telephones.  I think we can only take credit or blame for things that we ourselves are responsible for.

Brice Cameron 2262 pts

Also, it gets kind of confusing.  As an American, can I take credit for Jazz even though I am white?  I have Irish, English and German ancestry  Some of my ancestors have oppressed my other ancestors for long periods of time.  It gets way too complicated to decide whether I am good or bad based on my ancestors actions.

sparel 903 pts

 Brice Cameron well just to make this clear jazz didn't come from just white people jazz  music is the founder of all races..no particular race can really claim it.  But that the key innovators were African-Americans.

onmywayup 1918 pts

 sparel I think that was his point...that jazz came from Americans, but it came from American blacks so he couldn't "claim" it as a white person. 

sparel 903 pts

 onthewaydown dang I think you're right!!! thanks friend :) 

friendswmimi 270 pts

I think that that is why that argument is so offensive to most readers here.  It is a completely selfish argument and a way to make people think that black men care so much about their community and their people.  I wonder if any of these black men would stand on a corner and protests the treatment of women and children in countries where they are enslaved, beaten and tortured.

amiar10 362 pts

Gah, reminds me of posts like this: http://brandx.tumblr.com/post/21530151322/theres-a-reason-i-dont-date-white-folksIt drives me batty when people lapse into the slave mentality thing. White men now are not their ancestors, and they had no bearing on what happened. I also find it crazy that so many people don't know that slavery is still a 'thing'. I've run into people who truly thought racism ended in the 1960s. Ah, the joys of subpar public education in the South. 

MissFLondon 667 pts

 amiar10 

Thanks!! This link was interesting.

 

To be honest, the writer sounded very wounded and dejected, having alluded to much pain in her life. I thoroughly agree that she should not date white people - in fact, she should not date anyone at all. 

 

A person sounding that wounded and fragile clearly needs to take time off for themselves.

 

It's funny that most of the black people that blame the white man for everything have very little interaction with them. The people who have made them suffer most are those they are in close  contact with, who also happen to look like them and have the greatest access to them and their trust.

 

This fact is universal - on a side note I find it still very amusing to see a white woman looking scared of a black man in the street - she is more at risk of abuse from her husband and similar looking neighbours than a random black man.

 

 

playa30 6 pts

 MissFLondon You really can't comment on why black people blame europeans for their problems. You don't know what we go thru on a daily basics. You are on the outside looking in. Yes I blame the white man for the stuff they do that you are too blind to see. You live your life in a bubble and only care about you and yours. Your four fathers(if you are white) put a plan in order 400+years ago and that plan still effect my people to this very day. It's called The Willie Lynch Syndrome. So not only do we get held back by whites and others, we get held back by our on thanks to the Willie Lynch. Try living life thru our eyes and see how long you last.

Seenyc 806 pts

Instead of smartening up, people are dumbing down. SMDH.

Shulamit 1986 pts

**rolls eyes so far back in my head I can see myself think** on this one

SirLoinDeBeef 2654 pts

How to buy a slave - no need to go to Muritania - go here:  http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/buy-child-10-hours/story?id=5326508#.T5Q1GNU2f0E

A girl - bargained down to $150 - in Hati

Ricky T 481 pts

..if it was about slavery, no one would be dating each other period. All of our ethnic groups have enslaved another group at one point or another.

 

Going further, people of similar colors were fighting each other and slaving each other left and right throughout history of mankind as well......in Asia, Africa, Europe....etc.

 

But yet...we see asians dating asians, blacks dating blacks......etc.

 

so this shit make absolutely no sense.

AJ2011 2310 pts

Frankly speaking the blacks that hustle the Massa theory don't really care about the legacy of slavery. They just have a problem with white men. 

Law Wanxi 5945 pts

 AJ2011 

It's also a convenient tool for Black males to use to dominate and subjugate Black women while allowing carte blanche for going out with White women as a way of getting back at Massa. 

AJ2011 2310 pts

 Law Wanxi We also notice how white male abolitionists and Civil Rights activists never make it into the conversation.

sparel 903 pts

 AJ2011  Law Wanxi of course because giving credit to where it's due. black women and men that do that just want to blame others for their failures in life. 

playa30 6 pts

 sparel How can one not blame another when it's true that  they are being held back? They do it thru Education, Jobs, and more. White supremacy is very much at work.

AJ2011 2310 pts

 Law Wanxi And then when black women, and anybody else with good sense. sees the inconsistency, they call them "jealous". Black Power was a royal mind screw for black women. 

Jamila 7669 pts moderator

 AJ2011  Law Wanxi "Black Power was a royal mind screw for black women."

 

Oh my goodness, yes! The more I read about how some of  the black women in the civil rights movement were treated and how Kola Boof has said she has been treated by certain black male leaders...it's just ridiculous how those men dressed their patriarchy up in "Fight the (White) Power" and were so happy that black women accepted it hook, line, and sinker. 

AJ2011 2310 pts

 Jamila  Boof's name has come up 3 times this week on blogs frequent. I'm not familiar with her body of work, any recommendations?

 

mdiva2002 250 pts

@ AJ2001 @ Jamila

 

"Fight the (White) Power" and were so happy that black women accepted it hook, line, and sinker."

 

When you said that  Black Panther Eldridge Cleaver came to mind. He wrote in his book "Soul on Ice" how he would rape white women to get back at the man. Never mind the majority of women he used as practice were black and he used "The man" as justification to act out his own sick perversions on innocent women.  

 

One of Kola Boof's book are "Sexy part of the bible" the link below talks about it with a familiar voice. : ) 

 

http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/kola-boof-on-sexiness-womanhood-and-boinking-gerard-butler/

Brenda55 20926 pts moderator

Officially it is in the past but it is far from over. Women and children are the most exploited.

 

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/06/the-country-where-slavery-is-still-normal/241148/

MayaHope 52 pts

Most of the slave owners in Mauritania were Arab/Moor. Blacks don't/didn't have the power in order to own the majority of slaves. This isn't really a case of blacks opressing blacks.......

Brenda55 20926 pts moderator

 MayaHope Quite right however the GAT-DAL would have you believe that people of color do not do such things to each other. They would have you believe that there in only one face of the slave owner and it is white. That is far from true.

MayaHope 52 pts

 Brenda55 It is true that there are other faces of oppression besides the white face. However, Arabs are catergorized as white according to the State Department and almost all census agencies. So this example really doesn't work to show how people of color oppress other people of color. This Mauritania example reinforces the idea that whites are the most oppressive (which I cannot argue with this idea). 

 

Brenda55 20926 pts moderator

 MayaHope I stand corrected. : )

Grace80 204 pts

I agree that they are white BUT they ain't european white. I count some Indians as white as well.

 

But that seems to come and go... On sites like Racialicious people say that they are 'people of colour' and will excuse all their behavior as something other than racial or doing with skin colour.

 

There's several quotes from PRE european involvement in Africa from Arab Muslims by a famous arab scholars, here's some from Ibn Khaldun.

 

"Beyond [known peoples of black West Africa] to the south there is no civilization in the proper sense. There are only humans who are closer to dumb animals than to rational beings. They live in thickets and caves, and eat herbs and unprepared grain. They frequently eat each other. They cannot be considered human beings."

 

"Therefore, the Negro nation are, as a rule, submissive to slavery, because [Negroes] have little [that is essentially] human and have attributes that are quite similar to those of dumb animals, as we have stated."

VintageNarcissa 3152 pts

 Grace80 Indians are actually Asian. South East Asian to be exact. 

Law Wanxi 5945 pts

 VintageNarcissa  Grace80 

South Asian. Southeast Asian is Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai, Filipino, Indonesian et al. 

 

Denizens of Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Nepal and Sri Lanka are South Asians.

 

Asian as a group is, according to the US Government, everyone from the Afghanistan-Pakistan border east to the eastern sea shore of Japan as far as the continent is concerned.