This thread may be politically incorrect in today’s natural hair care craze, but I think some folks (like myself) might need a safe place to vent a bit. Truth be told, my natural hair journey hasn’t been all fresh daisies and roses. I’ve had some MAJOR setbacks and have had to face some uncomfortable truths about my hair. Would I ever go back to biweekly visits to the hair salon or worse…get a chemical relaxer? Hell no. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m a bit disappointed in my progress.
My hair, most likely, will never, ever look like this:
What I’ve Learned
Lesson #1: First off, my hair is fine and fragile. It’s needs regular low doses of protein, mingled within my shampoo, conditioner and leave-in hair products.
Lesson #2: My hair is “long for a black chick,” but it will *probably* never be waist length. I don’t think it’s because I reach a terminal length before it can grow. Why then? Refer back to Lesson #1: It’s inherently weak and breaks before it gets to my waist.
I’m approaching BSL, albeit at a snail’s pace.
Lesson #3: Because it is fine, my hair HATES two-strand twists and show’s me how much by amputating itself at the ends.
Lesson #4: My hair likes it better when I loosen the curls a bit with a blow dryer. I know what I just said is sacrilege in the natural hair community, but…there it is.
Lesson #5: Wash-and-go’s look absolutely HIDEOUS on me. Never gonna happen. Like, ever.
I’m disappointed that my hair isn’t fuller and a perfectly globed afro continues to evade me. I’m disappointed that at 39, the quality of my hair has nowhere to go but downhill.
Of course I’ll keep it as healthy as I can. Of course I’ll be kind to it and treat it gently. But I can’t pretend that I had plans for my hair that was just way too grandiose. My hair will do what it will do, and be what it will be. I am resigned that it will never be a source of shock and awe, like those lucky ladies on You Tube with a mass of kinky hair down to their ankles. There is so much beauty in a long plait of afro-textured hair. I covet it, I admit. But there’s a time when you have to accept what IS, not what you WISH would be.
Anyone else have some uncomfortable truths about your natural hair care journey you’d like to share?
Update on my hair thinning: After having been told by my sister lock consultant that I had traction alopecia, I went to my dermatologist yesterday, before my appointment on Thursday. She said that I, indeed, did have that and evidence points to my current sister lock consultant pulling my hair too tight and forcing the sister lock tool through the lock. I've only been going to her since September, after my last sister lock consultant decided to go back to school to be a nurse. She did hurt doing my locks and they were ultra tight but I didn't think anything of it because my hair looked good and it lasted longer. My dermatologist said she sees big signs of new growth so all is not lost (and, I'd like to think it's due to my concoction, which I've been using faithfully everyday (with a heat cap once a week).
I got in touch with my previous sister lock consultant and asked her if she had noticed any signs of traction alopecia and she said no. I also researched and found out that traction alopecia is usually caused by repetitive tightening like with braids, extensions, weaves and sister locks. if they are done right, you're good to go. If not, hair loss. I canceled all my appointments with my current sister lock consultant and am going back to the other one. She told me that she quit nursing school and has determined that doing sister locks is for her so she was looking for clients again (thank goodness). We're going to take it easy on my hair and do the tightening once every six weeks rather than every four. My dermatologist wants to see me in a month to check the situation. I was up front with my last consultant and asked her were there any signs of alopecia when I first came to her. She admitted that there weren't but doesn't think it's her. We'll see.
I think I have a handle on it now and just know that it pays to do research and keep up to speed on what's happening with your hair and your scalp. My dermatologist said my hair and scalp are very healthy so there's no reason to be losing hair, although she did acknowledge that age can cause thinning but not the track-like thinning I had. At least it's something I can work with and all is not lost.
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