Video: Black Women’s Barriers to Entry in Interracial Dating

A bit..  I am plus sized and was when I met and married my husband. I also married for the first time at age 47. Most men of all races do no check for large women.  That is just a fact.  It is more difficult for a plus sized women in the dating world in general not just in IRR dating. 

If you are a big gal put your best for forward.  Good grooming and flattering clothing will make a big difference. I see far too many big gals wearing ill fitting clothing that makes them look cheap and trashy.  Attention to hair styles, make-up and accessories go a long was as well. After that just be you and get out into the world and meet people. Big gals just have to work that much harder but big girls do date and marry. 

 35delta Thanks for clarifying, but i think people understand where you're coming from. I think in general (haha) men like fit, slim women, regardless of race. But...I too believe that slim African American women embody some of the most unique beauty in all the world.

 Christelyn

 I agree.  There are no women in the world more beautiful than Imam, Venus and Serena Williams, Aisha Tyler, the late Whitney Houston, Beverly Johnson, Naomi Cambell, Swin Cash, Tyra Banks, Kerry Washington, you and Janice, just to name a few.  

 35delta Rubbing her eyes to see if she is really seeing this. Yep.  That post is really there and 35delta really said all that stuff. 

The Trolladelphians keep saying white men don't feel this way about black women. They keep saying that white men  are not on line singing the praises of black women so I had to take a second to see if I was hallucinating. 

 Brenda55  35delta I know, right! You should see these rabid trolls galloping on my You Tube channel, ALL CAPS, foaming at the mouth. Makes their heads explode seeing me and Janice as the anti-stereotype they want everyone in the world not to see.

 Christelyn   Brenda55  

I have to admit that reading the garbage written my the Trolladelphians, especially the Fool of Fla. can be a drag. The sites are a joke, really amateurish and poorly designed. They lack any sort of imagination with regards to content. What is it with the run on sentences and lack of clarity in expressing a concept? Someone must have been asleep during their English 101 class. That or they are off their meds. 

What is really pathetic is the fact that if it were not for sites like this one and BWE blogs in general those sites would have nothing to post.  There is really no original convrsation. They copy and past whole posts from BWE sites to their own.  

What really cracks me up about those sited it the comment sections. If it were not for the site owners answering each and every comment with one of his own the post count would never get in to the double digits. It is obvious that those sites attract a small rag tag hand full of really miserable people who spend too much time worrying about a group of women who don't want them. 

The only bright spot is that those folks wallow in a cesspool of their own making and are not over here bothering us.  

 Brenda55  Christelyn

 Brenda, I don't know who these Troladelphians are but it sounds like they are trying to poison your mind about white men.  I certainly can't speak for all white men but I can assure you that what I said about black women comes from my heart.  I can also assure you that there are many other white men who feel that way about black women because I know many men like that.  They are sincere and they look for the same things that I do in a woman.  But there are also racist white men who must be avoided at all costs.  They are easy to spot and easy to avoid.  I have always stayed away from racists and as a result I have never had a problem being in an interracial relationship.  Fortunately racists are the newest minority.

 35delta "Racists are the newest minority."  I like that and I hope so.

 35delta  Christelyn  

Trolladelphians is my name for the trolls who come to this site with the goal of disrupting the conversation here as well as the you tubers, bloggers and internet jockeys who make hate filld comments about black women in general and BWE/IRR engaged black women in particular.

I liked your comments.  My comment was one of snarkyness  directed at the trolls re. their belief  that non-black men are not interested in black women and do not declare their interest in black women. Your post gives the lie to that idea.

 Brenda55

 Brenda:  have you ever dated interracially?  If so, was it a positive experience?

 35delta I have been married, ecstatically, to the love of my life for these past ten years. We renewed our vows this past February.He is is a kilt wearing Scot who wears mutton chops and self describes as being diagonally parked in a parallel universe.  We have been together nearly 14 years total.  So my answer to your questions are yes and yes. .

 Brenda55

 Good for you Brenda.  I always like to hear good reports about interracial marriages.  My own experience is positive also.  I guess you could probably tell that from my prior posts. 

 Brenda55  35delta They should go to the Web sites that show interracial couple and you will see that most look average and the BW color  from light to dark chocolate.

 tonyrog  Brenda55

 tonyrog:  what web sites are you referring to? Are there web sites devoted to interracial couples? 

 35delta  Brenda55  sexyvelour has one with lots of pictures. Facebook black women with other brothers

 35delta  Brenda55 also BWDB you probably have to google it. Also Facebook has lots on interracial Marriages

 tonyrog  Brenda55

 tonyrog: thanks I'll check them out

 tonyrog  Brenda55

 tonyrog:  I took a look at some of those websites.  i think those interracial couples were like most couples:  good looking people tend to be attracted to other good looking people regardless of race.  The same is true of not so good looking people.  I found there were some great looking interracial couples and some not so great looking ones.  Good looking white guys were paired up with good looking black women.  Where I live, it seems like the vast majority of interracial couples that I see are really good looking. 

 eugeniaberg Eugenia, I think we'll be up that way maybe before year's end.

dani-BBW its true. college sweetheart and a sister-in-law: 

"Ryan also courts African-American voters. In 2003, he and Janna joined the nonpartisan Congressional Civil Rights Pilgrimage. Led by Congressman John Lewis, who 40 years ago headed the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, the pilgrimage takes lawmakers to Birmingham, Selma and Montgomery, Alabama, to remind them of that era’s struggles.

Two years later, Ryan passes Lewis after a committee meeting and nods toward the Georgia Democrat. “He’s a hero,” Ryan says without hesitation. Later, he elaborates: “I have a sister-in-law who’s African American. My college sweetheart was black. I just experienced some ugly comments, some racist views from people who I thought were friends of mine.” Jack Kemp – notable for trying to broaden the Republican Party’s appeal to blacks – “taught me a lot, too,” Ryan continues. Despite all that, when he joined the Civil Rights pilgrimage, “I didn’t know anything about that. I just learned so much about the Civil Rights movement and the absolute bravery it took. And I’m a big, big fan of Martin Luther King.”-Milwaukee Magazine 2005

Here's the link (its safe I promise): http://www.milwaukeemag.com/article/242011-ThatHairThoseEyesThatPlan

That is deep, but it doesn't influence my vote...

 Elle21 Republicans have a chance at the "Black" vote if only they chose to treat Black people as real potential voters instead of scapegoats for rural White people's problems. I've always said this. Maybe the GOP will get a clue. But probably not.

Glad to hear Ryan has some knowledge of what Black people have faced in this country, but I still don't like his economic policies or his views on women or Ayn Rand.

@Elle21 @dani-BBW I think it's weird whenever a candidates dating history is a topic of conversation. I'm suspicious as to why his ex was brought up at all ? Aside from Paul Ryan ......since when do white people have to come out and say they're fans of MLK or civil rights in general. I know race relations aren't perfect, but why is the assumption still that all white people have a problem with non-white people unless they specifically state otherwise? What is that about?

 dani-BBW Ewww!  A sista messed with that fool?  I can *NOT* unread that mess now. 

 Suburban Soulgirl  What's so wrong with that?  I think Paul Ryan is quite an attractive man!

 The Working Home Keeper  Ryan's Grade-A douchebagginess takes away from any good looks he may have. *voms*

 Suburban Soulgirl Well, I'm pleased he joined the Romney ticket.

 Suburban Soulgirl Has it ever occurred to you that the women in question held the same beliefs as Mr. Ryan? We do not all walk in lock step with each other nor should we.

 Brenda55  Suburban Soulgirl "We do not all walk in lock step with each other nor should we."

Wholeheartedly agree with this!  This simple truth needs to be more readily accepted within the black community. 

 The Working Home Keeper I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised reading the article. This goes to show that IRR and IR families is the new face of America.

His dating history and family make up is a non-issue. As it should be.

I would love to see a more moderate face on the Republican party.  I think that the party needs to get off of their heavy focus on social issues and be more inclusive to non-whites. Maybe adding Ryan to the ticket is a nod in that direction.

 Brenda55 Learning about his dating history and family is nice, in the same way that's its nice to see other "swirling" couples when we're out and about.  But, it's not an influencing factor when it comes to my vote.  Much in the same way that having the same skin color as a candidate is not a deciding factor for me. 

And yes, as a black Republican it's nice to see the party becoming more inclusive. 

 The Working Home Keeper You're a brave woman to admit that, and good for you for standing up for what you believe.

I'm not American nor am I terribly interested it's politics but as far as I know Republicans seem to be rather shall we say...unpopular, and a black one at that? You'd think they'd killed someone!.

 The Working Home Keeper He has sad beagle eyes.

 The Working Home Keeper I don't live in the US, but am just curious. Why do the Republicans get such a bad rap? And why does the term 'black Republican' seem like an oxymoron?

 Brenda55  Um.  I think y'all are reading waaay too much into my comment.  I never said that Ryan's college sweetheart wasn't an individual with her own viewpoints, so I don't know where this assumption came from.

I was simply cracking jokes b/c I find the man to be a repulsive douchebag.

 Suburban Soulgirl  Brenda55 I guess it's the whole "sista", "brotha" thing. It lumps black people into one homogenous mass.

 The Working Home Keeper 

So you are like Star Parker? :)

Haha, I'm conservative as well.

 LionMama Not familiar with Ms. Parker.  But a quick read of her background, hers is not similar to mine at all.  Never been on welfare, never arrested, never had an abortion.

 I'm just like ME :)  Wife, mother of three, daughter of life long Democrats, raised conservatively.  Decided to align myself with the party that most closely represents my beliefs.  Hence, I'm a Republican. 

 The Working Home Keeper haha I did not think that. I've just stumble into Star Parker video a few days ago and I kinda agreed with her about some issues. Plus I always love a good redemption story. I believe she's married now.

 Karla Aw shuckins...;-)

 35delta Thanks, and welcome!

it seems to be that MEN that are blond/blue or redheads are into the chocolate nubian women..i see many dark black women married to blonds & redheads

 zipporah

 Looks are not the most important factor but I happen to think that slender dark black women are amazingly beautiful.