This was written by Frank Robinson, a Facebook friend of mine who has been observing our recent “black beauty” discussions. It touched him, so he wanted to share with all of you his feelings.
Did you notice? What you DON’T have seems to leverage you, either from within or without, (and maybe put/keep you in your place, so to speak). It leaves you feeling inadequate, needy. Everything and anything can be magnified, sometimes in a destructive way.
Parents, fathers of daughters in particular, YOU should be front and center in telling each of your daughters how beautiful, smart, precious, important she is to YOU! She should be able to sit on your lap safely, and hear those things that matter so much, first from YOU.
This will build her up unlike anything else. It will help equip her to look in the mirror, to face the world and protect her when she is age 11, 14, 17, 27 & 37…from sitting on some other fellow’s lap, while she is really looking for YOU, and this boy or man is pretending to be the man who is missing from her life.
Some things happen repeatedly. Some girls give out a wounded signal without knowing it and like a shark, some people (male & female predators/parasites) tune into that signal. The problem? She is blind to this and maybe wounded by the last person, SHE thinks this one will be different…that he will love her…this new relationship is like the dawn on a new morning. What she does not see, is the new guy is really no different than the last guy. The presence of a loving dad means so much, as someone noted, not just with girls.
I think as a kid I maybe WAS that other guy. But I made changes, tried to do better…to be a good father and learn from the mistakes of those who came before me. I even found a couple of old girlfriends from those days as a wild young guy and APOLOGIZED to them. Did not want to flirt or be misunderstood. Just that I had not treated her as she deserved, or I understood her weakness and manipulated that, and I was sorry for every disrespect & injury I had caused, and I NEEDED her forgiveness. I was DELIGHTED when each forgave me.
PS God is NOT colorblind. He invented color. Human beauty of every shade is all around us. Maybe we should learn to appreciate, rather than degrade.