Is the Grass Greener Across the Pond? Two Views on Interracial Relationships in Europe

The Other Side

A BB&W fan wrote publisher, Christelyn Karazin…

I came across your channel and love the questions thoughts and answers you give. I’m Dutch and have been married to my African American wife 7 years and we have lived in Holland and now south of USA. Just to let you know that my wife hated Europe specially Holland where she as educated black woman did not feel respected. In Holland there are many former Dutch colonial black people ( Surinam dutch Antilles ) and also many African immigrants. Previous to my wife I have dated Nigerian and Ghana  woman. Personally I feel that even though the USA has its cultural differences and issues amongst races it does not compare to what is going in Europe where black people are often treated as 2nd class citizens. My wife has felt and expressed this and that’s why we moved to the USA specially for our little girl. I applaud you for bringing up different issues and wish people in USA would understand how much freedoms and potential to truly unite as one people more than in Europe with it’s still lingering colonial past attitudes. I have dated white woman but have a special love for black woman because of something not mentioned much. Black woman are strong because they endure more emotional attacks I feel than black men but still get on top. Statistics even show black woman to be more successful in business and education. White woman are confused by society between the role of mother or career woman. This is what attracts me about black woman the inner and outer beauty and strength. I love your energy and your are are a natural smart strong very beautiful woman. I love your natural hair.
I wish all black woman would loose there wigs extensions and be proud of who they are.
Much love Leon

Freelance writer, Anna Jones wrote an overview…

10 truths about being in an inter-racial relationship

One day, in a utopian world perhaps further away into the future than we would hope, inter-racial relationships will be taken at face value and no questions will be asked that are unfortunate or insensitive at best, and offensive at worst.

For some reason people, particularly sometimes from the older generation, seem to think that a couple of different ethnicities are a curiosity to be explored, although the vast majority of people looking for love on websites, perhaps creating a profile with MySingleFriend dating in mind, will not even bat an eyelid.

Here are ten truths in our multi-racial world:

1) There’s growth in the UK…

Analysis of figures from the last census showed that the number of people in England and Wales living with someone from another ethnic group had risen by a massive 35% from the previous survey in 2001.

2) …but it’s still rare

Only one in 25 white people have a relationship with someone from outside their own ethnic group, while 85% of people from mixed-race families live with someone from another group.

3) Culture matters, especially where marriage is concerned

A third piece of data from the census, reported by the Telegraph here, reveals that in the British Bangladeshi community people cohabiting are seven times more likely to be with someone from a different group as those who are married. The move from living together to marriage may therefore be frowned upon by certain figures within a given community.

4) Mixed race couples are more common in the UK

At least according to Europe; Britain may have as many as 10 times more interracial couples, according to some research. In large cities such as London, Manchester and Birmingham interracial relationships as so common that they are barely even noticed.

 5) Inappropriate comments might be asked…

A few examples of what you may very rarely be asked, according to this Buzzfeed article that will probably make your jaw drop: “Do you hate your own race?” “This is not some kind of fetish, is it?” or “What will your kids identify as?”

6)…but they don’t necessarily mean malice…

Biracial relationships were rarer when your grandparents were younger. Much rarer. So don’t be surprised when they exclaim with glee that you’re “setting a trend” or that you’re “quite adventurous”. You’ll know from their tone that they’re mentally gathering their thoughts and exploring the correct terminology to tally up.

7) ..and sometimes you won’t even know if a comment refers to your race.

When you’re told that you “make such a cute couple” you’ll have to think about the context, the commenter, your clothing and other aspects of the conversation before weighing up whether that refers to your differing ethnic groups, or something else entirely. Do you ask the questioner their meaning? Only you can decide.

8) Be prepared for extra attention

Even if someone doesn’t make it to the comment stage, you’ll become attuned to sideways glances, staring, and perhaps even pointing. According to data in America 84% of the population approves of interracial marriages, but sadly that means 16% do not.

9) Standing up for yourself might not be worth it

This does not just apply to mixed-race couples; ask gay partners, couples with a wide age disparity, or very tall or short couples if they ever gain unwanted attention. You shouldn’t really have to decide on where you go for a night out, or where you choose to shop, but sometimes the hassle really dictates whether you even bother going out or not.

10) You may want to celebrate it – should you?

The answer is best articulated in this debate by two women of colour in Voice Online, but both are clear that race should not really be the overarching issue in any relationship. Love based on the personalities and needs of the two people involved should be the main concern.



What say you? There’s been grumblings by black women in the interracial dating community who are threatening to pick up their marbles and go overseas. Are things so bad in the United States that we must be so drastic?

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