Question of the Week

QOTW: College Guy Asks, “How Do I Date a Black Girl?”

Portrait  of happy youngs african american teenage girl Hello Mrs. Karazin, I have recently realized that I am deeply attracted to black women on every level, so much so that they are my preference for all future romantic endeavors including marriage. I suppose I have always been, but I just never realized it before now. I am a 20 year old, white, male college student who would love nothing more than to begin a serious relationship with a black girl. I would love your advice on the matter. I don’t normally ask women out in general, and all of my previous relationships just kind of happened. Up until now I have dated exclusively white girls, but something deep inside of me would rather date black women. I really have appreciated your blog and I even was able to read a good portion of one of your books in Barns and Noble. If you would like any additional information to help you better answer my question, I am more than happy to help. Thank you in advance and I eagerly await your response. Sincerely, Matthew

Hey Matt, You said the magic words–college. Lucky for you, black women are taking the lead when it comes to higher education, which means there’s tons and tons of them for you to choose from! I’m glad you were able to read a good chunk of my book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed at the book store, but you should probably have a hard copy handy just for reference. Shoot me another email with your address and I’ll send you an autographed copy. Hell; I remember what it’s like being a poverty-stricken college student. This one’s on me. Here’s a few tips you should keep in mind while you’re pursuing the chocolate girl of your dreams:

Psssst! Widely Unknown Factoid About Black Women!

Okay I’m going to let you in on a secret. It’s like, really super unknown by a lot of people so consider yourself lucky to hear it here: Black women are…JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMEN. Like, we want to feel like we’re the only girl in the world when you’re interested, we want to feel pretty and feminine, we like complements. We’re basically just typical chicks.

We’re Like Every Other Woman, But…

Okay so now that you know we’re not some special species of female, you should probably know that our interpretation of your interest in us might be…a bit off. White guys are really much more subtle with their flirtations and interest, and many of us just think you’re being nice. So…be nice, but also provide clear communication of your interest. Don’t just say, “I really like your hair that way!” and automatically assume the girl you like knows that means you’re envisioning her as the mother of your kids.


You’re probably new here, but Leroy is my alter ego. He’s the stereotypical ghetto-assed black dude that thinks he’s God’s gift to women. Don’t be a Leroy. Take your whiteness and own that shit! You don’t need to blast Little Wayne in your Honda or get a big, fake diamond piercing with gold caps on your teeth. Just be you. Besides, white folks who attempt to act black fail 99.99% of the time. Most of us are just too polite to say so.

If You Like Black Girls, Say So!

One thing you should know about black culture is that we take the grassroots approach to information gathering. You tell one black chick you like black chicks and it’ll be all over campus within 72 hours.

Date the Girl, Not Her Color It’s okay to have a preference for black women. Thirty percent of our readers are men who feel just like you do. Just remember that under that gorgeous honey, mahogany, or onyx skin lies a completely UNIQUE individual that you really, really need to get to know. Good luck, and happy swirling!

If you have a question for me, hit me up at [email protected]

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