How to date, mate and relate. Mixing race, culture and creed.
“The looks of intimidation and hatred I get are crazy…”
Black woman is discouraged to date interracially by white female friend married to a black man.
“Is it okay to finally let my guard fully down and accept this as a real relationship, or should I just keep him as a friend and hold out for someone closer to my age?”
Why can whites, Asians, and Hispanics be classist and separate themselves from their ethnic riff raff, and if black folks do it, their called “sell outs?”
Are West Indian and African women more amenable to ‘the swirl’ than us uptight Americans?
You’d be surprised at how many notes I get from white women. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just…
Through my years of reading and learning about the BWE cause, I have come to know that notions like the â€œStrong Black Womanâ€ or being â€œMs. Independentâ€ have to die. In other words, black women need turn their backs on this mindset. Currently, I am a single mother of 3 children and these are things that I have to be since I am the sole bread winner. I have family members who tell me that they admire me because even with 3 children, Iâ€™ve accomplished so much. Iâ€™m quick to tell them that I donâ€™t want to be admired because in actuality, I want a break and I hate having to be strong and independent. So, my question is, how do you turn your back on this mindset when you are still forced to be it daily due to certain responsibilities, like my kids?
I’m thoroughly demoralized with dating both (IR and otherwise). I have never meet a normal, quality person online. I think you’re better off meeting someone on the train, bus, or supermarket.
Find out what Mama Chris prescribes…
Okay guys. This question is from one of our OWN–she’s been with us for over a year, so let’s burn some extra brain cells to help her deal with this.
Okay lurkers, here’s your chance to get your swirling relationship advice for a slew of folks from the BB&W Crew, plus some rainbeau dudes thrown in for some flavor. If you’ve ever wanted to ask a question here but thought yourself too bashful, today is your lucky-ducky day.
This BB&W fan wants input from the sages, so I’m going to let you all have at it!
“After hanging out a few times, things got pretty hot and heavy but I made
sure to tell him I wanted things to go slow but I don’t think he’s gotten
So as a WM fairly new to IRR (even though I have had interest in this direction for quite awhile), I have to admit that I never really was very sure how to approach a black woman as opposed to a white woman. I wasnt strong enough to be willing to overcome the taboo. And I am guilty of applying one perceived characteristic – race loyalty of BW as far as dating was concerned – to everyone in that group. So other than the part of these issues in my head, what do we do about some of these issues in a larger context?
Click on for the answer.
I’m enjoying your blog.
I’m a little bit discouraged because I have a crush on this guy. We were out last night with some other people. [It wasn't a date. It was a group of us.] We have really good chemistry and so much in common. But when it comes to anything beyond friendship, it seems like he notices every Caucasian girl, in close proximity, regardless of whether or not she’s remotely attractive. It’s really discouraging. I read your blog and I do most of the things you suggest. I exercise, I take care of myself, I’m well read, etc. However, it feels like, romantically speaking, I’m
invisible because, simply put, I’m not white and that hurts.
Why is that Cris?
Thanks all the brave ladies who reach out to me with questions on Facebook. Your experiences and the input of the sage folks in the BB&W Crew help hundreds (maybe thousands) of lurkers.
I have been a silent lurker for the past couple of months and I have to say that I am really enjoying your site! I just got reading your Question of the week on where the girl had never dated outside her race before and the comments where pretty informing. I too have that same problem but worse! I have never dated anyone before!
“I want to start dating, not get married!
I’ve been a good girl, I think I deserve to have a little fun. Sadly, I wouldn’t
know how to flirt my way out of a paper bag.”
Gosh. I LOVE getting notes like this, because it gives us all a chance to throw her some diamonds of wisdom.
It’s rare that I have a man volunteer for HOTW and pose a Question of the Week…is it still a full moon?