Archive for the ‘Thriving’ Category
Move away from the bull’s-eye part 3: Taking a bullet for indoctrination’s sake
Picking up where I left off in part 2, I want to speak to why so many black women, no matter how intelligent, successful and yes, interracial relationship-minded, will take some unnecessary bullets and jump head-first into crosshairs. Fear is a major motivating factor, but inorder to understand the reason, you have to get at the root. That root is indoctrination.
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Keeping the Race Together or Keeping You Under Control?
Christelyn’s new book is on the threshold of release as I’m typing this. And with that news comes the necessary promotion and word spreading you expect while trying to get a product out there to consumers. There was a link to one such feature that had the predictable bit of grumbling and talking points. You know, the lie-filled scare tactics that never fail to come up when black women even think about expanding their dating options.
In any case, one particular sentiment stood out to me…
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The Day I Stopped Listening to Rap Music
Do you listen to mainstream rap music? And if you don’t still listen to this music, what made you finally stop?
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Move away from the Bull’s-eye Part 2.5: Realizing you are NOT the target
(First and second parts are here) Before I move on to part three (indoctrination), I wanted to mention that sometimes I observe behaviors from people who don’t seem to realize that they aren’t being addressed in a certain situation: They seem to think they are being targeted when they are not. They participate in [...]
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Of black women and totem poles…
Once upon a time, someone somewhere decided that there was a “totem pole” and that black women are at the bottom of it.
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If You See It Then You Can Achieve it–Create a Vision Board
“Change you thinking, change your life.” I once dated–and I’m using that word loosely here–a guy who used that phrase as the tagline signature on all of his emails. While I eventually chucked the guy, I kept thinking about that phrase, which has been used by more self-help guru’s than a few to sell books and other personal empowerment materials. The idea behind the message of change your thinking and change your life is that what we see in our minds eye, what we think, has an effect on the outer world. If you can see it you can manifest it.
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Groundbreaking Columbia Study: Fear and Stereotypes keep Black Women out of Interracial Marriage
Black women in America are more likely to be unmarried than women of other races. They are also least likely to marry men outside of their race although a Pew Research Center report suggests that interracial marriage has more than doubled since 1980.
Released in February 2012, the report suggests that there are specific gender variations within some racial groups. Asian women are twice as likely to marry out as Asian men and Black males are more than twice as likely to marry out as their female counterparts.
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Best Frenemies: What’s the Deal With Toxic Friendships?
Once upon a time you had friends and you had enemies. Then somewhere along the line in the effort to get along with EVERYBODY, we got “frenemies”: a cute pop culture term for people that, to be blunt, you really have no business socializing with in the first place.
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Move away from the Bull’s-eye Part 2: Allowing fear to manipulate you into the crosshairs
A major issue is that when a group of African Americans try to other the undesirables that exist within our ethnic group, they get hit with the “Uncle Tom”/”Traitor to their race” label. The idea being that WE need to stick together NO MATTER WHAT (level of dysfunction must be allowed or tolerated) in order survive as a single race.
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Dr. Black Woman, MD: Fixing Damaged Persons?
I’ve never walked on water nor went to medical school, but I’ve been dubbed, “Dr. Black Woman, MD” and have just been paged to the OR.
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Move away from the Bull’s-eye Part 1*: You’re not obligated to be a direct hit!
Somehow you have found yourself in the center of someone else’s bull’s-eye. And it’s a big one. Big enough to focus on you and the millions of people around you. But what’s this? You find that if you move out of the center of that aim, you are less likely to get hit. Keep moving, and you reach a place where you might not get hit at all. What is the logical solution then? To keep standing there, indistinguishable from all other targets, or do you get your behind out of the line of fire?
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Important Video: “Black Women Boycott Your Bashers”
Okay ladies, this was sent to me, I reviewed it and co-sign. Enough is enough. Pass it on. (Slideshow credit Getty Images)
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Question of the Week: “My Workplace is Surrounded By Bigots–What Should I Do?”
Definitely not your mama’s relationship book…
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