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Thriving

Tell me you’re divested without TELLING me you’re divested

Written by Nicole

 

Ah, social media. Home to a rapid-spreading Bernie Sanders inauguration meme, Tik Tok dances that my 30-something year old joints balk at, and posts going more viral than Miss Rona.

 

One of the latest trends has been to “tell me you’re something without TELLING me you’re something”. The “something” could be your occupation, school you went to, nationality, hobby, political leaning, and so on. So, to piggyback on that trend, tell me you’re divested without TELLING me you’re divested.

 

Before I get into this, allow me to reiterate. I myself do not identify as divested. Once you put a label on things, people tend to extract all nuance from it, especially if you’re a black woman. We like to say we’re not a monolith, but your Black Card can be revoked at the drop of a hat for whatever is not in favor on the day. This is why I personally identify as “a woman of a certain mindset”. I am all for black women doing what needs to be done to thrive and succeed in life. If the set of actions she takes up goes by the word “divestment” or whatever the new word will be, as the kids say, “I ain’t mad at her”.

 

With that out the way, here is a potentially controversial take.

 

No one should “know” you are divested.

 

Let me explain.

 

  • Talking too much will make it easier for your journey to be derailed

    Announcing that you are divested defeats the purpose. By plastering your divested status everywhere, you are saying that you’re essentially putting your own needs and interests first, unapologetically. And for black women, viewed as the beasts of burden of the community, and even the world, this is seen as high treason. You’re telling the world that you’re no longer available for perpetual labor, and those that benefit from your melanated battery pack, will not let you go quietly into that great night. You can make the moves that are necessary to secure the ideal life for yourself (whatever name it may go by), you simply don’t have to say anything.

  • Everybody can’t come anyway

    Let’s have a thought exercise. You have found success in your divestment journey, however that looks for you. Your finances are flourishing. Your prospects are plentiful. And your life is lovely! That’s great! And because it is in our nature to bring the whole hood with us, you want to let everybody know. Unfortunately, though, everybody can’t/won’t be willing to join you. It’s hard leaving people, actions, and things behind, especially when they have been a part of your way of life. For others, misinformation will deter them, as detractors will reduce divestment to “pink dick” and hating black men (of which neither are true). So, a part of your journey will be to resist the urge to share your journey, let people be loud and wrong, and instead keep moving right along.

  • Final thoughts

    Your divestment still counts if that is something you keep between you and your journal, your plants, or your thoughts. Like the Facebook group says – this is not an airport, you don’t need to announce your departure. Sharing here, there, and everywhere about your journey – divestment, levelling up, sovereignty, or whatever other name it may go by for you, doesn’t to be done for it to count. Living well will be the reward.

Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.

 

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.

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