Don’t Get Caught Up in the Feeling: Not Using a Condom Can Do Worse Than Get You Pregnant.

Don’t Get Caught Up in the Feeling: Not Using a Condom Can Do Worse Than Get You Pregnant.

Man deliberately infects a single mother with HIV.

Author : Christelyn Karazin

Author's Website | Articles from

She was a single mother who fell for her son’s coach.

They started a sexual relationship.

He pestered her repeatedly to have sex without a condom.

He probably told her rubbers didn’t allow sex to feel the same.

She gave in.

She shouldn’t have, because he gave her HIV, knowing that he had the disease.

Judge sentences Fort Worth man to 15 years in prison for knowingly infecting woman with HIV

 

Earlier this year, 42-year-old Jimmy Bernard Billingsley pleaded guilty to aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury when he admitted that he’s known since 2008 that he was HIV-positive, yet still had unprotected sex with a woman he was dating in 2009. Billingsley, who faced anywhere from probation to 20 years in prison, left it up to a judge to determine his fate. State District Judge Robb Catalano settled on 15 years, according to the Tarrant County District Attorney’s Office today.

According to the DA’s office, Billingsley admitted he’d “been intimate on numerous occasions with a woman he met in 2009 while coaching her son’s youth football team.” In 2010 she learned she was HIV-positive. She called police because Billingsley was the only man with whom she’d had sex. Says the DA’s office in a statement dispatched to media today, “She suspected that he had infected her with
the virus after he insisted on having unprotected sex.”

At a hearing on Friday Billingsley took the stand and acknowledged that yes, he’d had sex with several partners since he learned of his status — and never told any of them he’s HIV-positive. Shortly after that the judge sentenced him to 15 years.

““This defendant’s intentional non-disclosure to numerous sex partners was egregious, dangerous, willful
and malicious,” said Assistant District Attorney Joshua Ross in a prepared statement. “He is truly a snake in the grass. His sentence brings some justice to his known victim and provides a measure of protection for so many others.”

I read something on another blog the pretty much sums up how this happened, and how it will happen again.

 

A disproportionate number of black men are in prison, uneducated or unemployed, reducing the supply of men for women to marry.  This leads women themselves to have more partners over their lifespans, increasing their risk of infection.  Additionally, many men don’t go to the doctor to get regular STD panels (that means a check for ALL diseases, not just HIV), especially among those who’ve been marginalized in our society.  This is compounded by the fact that many people will do lots of creative things in the bedroom with people without having a clue about where their bodies have been (nearly every hip-hop song on the radio encourages men to have a slew of women).  So, the fact of the matter is that when you share yourself without thinking it through, you make yourself vulnerable to those who are not careful about their health.

I can just see the gaggle of bat-shit-crazy  black, male bloggers on sites we shall not name, blaming this woman, call her stupid and place the blame at her feet. Then they’ll claim that it’s because of racism and that the Prison Industrial Complex cripples black men. THEN they’ll say the woman was a snitch because she put another black man back into the PIC. Wash and repeat.

Ladies, listen to me, especially if you’re on this site by morbid interest, because you are a NBAB (nothing but a black man) woman. These ex-convicts are getting out of prison and DELIBERATELY targeting unsuspecting single, lonely black women. If a man refuses to wear a condom, he has absolutely no concern for your well-being. They only care about getting their nut off, and care nothing about giving them the “gift” of a slow, agonizing death.

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futureshock 228 pts

Why are they deliberately infecting women?  What do they get out making someone else sick?

Bren82 1304 pts

Very sad story. Too often a reality for unsuspecting black women who give their hearts and trust.

ShunJack 95 pts

This is why I have shut it down. It's just not worth it. This hit home for me since I am less than 30 minutes from Ft. Worth and I have a sister that works at an HIV/AIDS clinic. It has scared her to high heavens. She says you wouldn't believe who comes through there. Some of these people are educated, lawyers, doctors, etc.

Jillian2323 42 pts

Let's not forget, condoms can break, so it's not 100% safe. Therefore, it's best to require that your partner  get tested and doesn't have STDS prior to engaging in sex. It's also imperative that he use a condom each and every time you engage in any sexual activity. 

 

Of course, the best way overall to protect oneself is simply to remain abstinent. So many people lack discipline, therefore, they sleep with every tom, dick and harry simply because he says all of the right things.

L281173 15 pts

Even though the actions of this man were terrible, I blame to woman who contracted HIV in many ways.  As a person who works in a hospital (Outpatient Psychiatry), this scenario is all too common.  Sistahs need to become more responsible in the choices that the make sexually.  There is too much education out there about the prevention of HIV/AIDS and other STDs, but so many of them are so stupid that they refuse to take heed.  They will continue to associate themselves with many who have been incarcerated, etc..

melissamak007 218 pts

He looks very smug for someone who is in the business of ruining lives. But maybe that's how people that do things like that look. I used to work in a busy doctors office in NYC. I've always been cautious in different areas of my life. Anyway after working there and seeing people with every STD (including ones that I thought weren't around that much anymore), in places I ever would have thought of (chlamydia in someones eye) it made me afraid rather than cautious. Not to mention patients hitting on me that maybe had one or two of said STD's and couples coming in and only one of them having something. I feel very bad for this woman.To survive with HIV means you need a lot of meds. Not to mention the gamut of other emotions she's feeling. I am not going to place blame on her. I was just having a conversation with my closest friend about being selective about who you share yourself with... The more women who know what they have is special and precious, the better. Take your risks in other ways.

Alana 2 387 pts

Can someone PLEASE write an article on how to be celibate without turning into an asexual mammy!? The reality for some women is that they may be celibate for years, as it takes time to vet an individual. It can be a challenge to strike the right balance in the search for a mate, especially when dates are few and far between.

ShunJack 95 pts

 Alana 2 I'd like to see a take on this as well. As this is my life right now and it aint easy...but I will be honest, the fear alone is enough for me.

Brenda55 19275 pts moderator

I am going to inject a little levity on this thread. 

Chris where did you find that picture?

 

I have seen all kinds of condoms........don't ask....even saw a line call Tahitian Treats that came in tropical colors like fern and sea breeze. Seen the glow in the dark ones. 

Don't know too many guys who would sport a hot pick rubber on his junk tough. 

KikiBantam 23 pts

 Brenda55 

 They have them in convient store restrooms!! Put in 75 cents VOILE!! A fresh condom to your choosing! Hahah hot pink rubber on his junk.. i have to go with ya on that.

you cracked me up with that statement.

EarthJeff 3238 pts

Brenda55 "I have seen all kinds of condoms........don't ask....even saw a line call Tahitian Treats that came in tropical colors like fern and sea breeze. Seen the glow in the dark ones. 

Don't know too many guys who would sport a hot pick rubber on his junk tough. "

 

I would do some freaky color or hot pink (although, "hot pick" sounds painful)...   I am not the one looking at it anyway, she is.  And I cant see in the dark, either.... so the glow in the dark one makes the most sense...

Also, a real man secure in his masculinity will wear pink proudly....

 

EarthJeff 3238 pts

 Brenda55 ""I have seen all kinds of condoms........don't ask."

 

Oh... Of COURSE we are asking.....  'Fess up.

Brenda55 19275 pts moderator

 EarthJeff Now there you go Jeff.

Lets just say that there are certain stores you shop at that are purveyors of fine merchandise like that.   Including variety packs and ahem other sundries.

 

Want a fun date? You and your lady visit one or two and shop till you drop then lunch or dinner out and then book a room for the week-end to test drive the purchases.  No kids, no phone, no interruptions. You'll come back feeling like you've been on a vacation.

 

(Just keep the noise level down hotels will throw you out for making too much noise.  Trust me on that.) 

EarthJeff 3238 pts

 Brenda55 "(Just keep the noise level down hotels will throw you out for making too much noise.  Trust me on that.) "

 

Quit teasing.... this is obviously another story you need to "Fess up to....

Brenda55 19275 pts moderator

 EarthJeff Hubby said about the same thing. 

Hummmmmmmmm.  The similarities are....interesting.

EarthJeff 3238 pts

Brenda55 "

Hubby said about the same thing. 

Hummmmmmmmm.  The similarities are....interesting."

 

Yeah, well, great minds think alike....

 

Christelyn 8684 pts moderator

 Brenda55

 haha I got it from a stock photo company I use. 

KikiBantam 23 pts

This is awful and beyond repuntant in my state. There are plenty of guys who are like this and do not mind spreading "angel of death" among black women. This doesn't surprise me at all. If any of you can look into our state statistics of STD/HIV/AIDS reports, you'll see.  Gross and puke to this man and with his sly intentions, i wish the judge put him on death row. We are for death penality, why not him? To any women that are reading this and  live in Texas in metropolitan cities and rural, use common sense!  Don't get caugh up like Elmer Fudd, looking for a wabbit and Bugs Bunny out smarting him all the time.  Thank you DBR man for hiking up my taxes dollars for yo azz for the next 15 years. I hope the Booty Warrior gets ya!

 

Sorry, this irks me to the fullest.

KikiBantam 23 pts

In reply to this; safe sex classes in school and outside are in debate. Since being in the "butthole" of the Bible Belt, parents see safe sex classes as something that isn't need but rather taught (which i use that loosely) at home. And its not taught!!! We are second in country for teen pregnacy (california comes first)  and about thirty-fourth in education. Being a born and bred Texan black woman this shit hurts me. Women vet vet vet!! I don't care if we're in the South, stay away from Pookie and them!!! 

GG123 361 pts

I have personally noticed an increase of these types of stories in the media. Are these people just mad at the world, and want to take everyone down with them?

MadamCJCPA 1125 pts

I've said it once and I will say it again, THERE IS A STRATEGIC AND CONCERTED EFFORT AMONGST THE MAJORITY OF BLACK MALES TO RUIN AND END THE LIVES OF BLACK WOMEN/GIRLS!!!

 

 

MercedesHasLeftTheBuilding 1060 pts

15 years is not good enough...i'd say that was attempted murder.

uninterracial 948 pts

It boggles my mind that people still have unprotected sex with strangers in this day and age. I grew up in SF where HIV/AIDS was prevention was pretty much everywhere because of the high incidence in the city. I mean, they were getting to us in middle school about this stuff. The general rule that I learned was this: Get tested together, have protected sex, wait until 6 months later, and get tested again. If the tests are negative, assuming both people have been monogamous, then it was deemed safe.

 

Women have to be smarter about who they let enter their body. Just because some dude whispers sweet nothings in your ear, telling you how he can make you feel, um yeah, whatever.

 

I tell you, masturbation would save a lot of people from heartache if more people practiced it, especially black women.  The first black surgeon general, Dr. Joycelyn Elders promoted the use of masturbation and I thought she was right on but was abruptly fired for recommending this. I don’t get it. Why are we so ashamed of ourselves down there? Nature had given us something that it so pleasurable and most of us don’t seek it out for ourselves. We don't have to look for some “coach” or whomever to scratch an itch we can scratch by ourselves.  

 

This pisses me off so much. Castration is in order for this dude.

greengirl7 330 pts

 AceChica. "Disgusting. Black men can do whatever they want to black women and women in general because they make themselves out to be victims to feel sorry for."

 

^^This^^

 

   Most of the "men" these non-vetting-women are dating are self-pitying children who think that they have the right to harm anyone they want, especially BW, because THEY are victims.  BM are committing most of the murders in the country, but still consider themselves to be victims.

 

   BW need to remove the rose-colored glasses they put on for BM, and start looking at them objectively, because 1 in 3 BM have been to prison, yes **ONE IN THREE**.

BM are catching the disease in prison, and then infecting female partners once they are out of prison.

 

"In 2009, black men who have sex with men (MSM) represented an estimated 73% of new infections among all black men, and 37% among all MSM. More new HIV infections occurred among young black MSM (aged 13–29) than any other age and racial group of MSM."

 

"In 2009, black men accounted for 70% of the estimated new HIV infections among all blacks."

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/index.htm

 

   Many BM are having unprotected sex with other men and keeping it a secret because they don't want to be called "gay" or "bisexual", and these men have the highest STD infection rate. 

 

"Unprotected receptive anal sex is the sexual behavior that carries the highest risk for HIV acquisition. For sexually active MSM (men who have sex with men), the most effective ways to prevent HIV and many other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are to avoid anal sex, or for MSM who do have anal sex, to always use condoms."

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/msm/

But  statistics and studies only tell one side. I think discussing this part of HIV/AIDS rates would be a little to risky and controversial in many ways. Oh also a new article came out that says the HIV/AIDS rate amongst black women have declined, slowly but it's on a decline so we're doing our part, yet they're still the victims *smh*

Karla00 382 pts

So he got 15 years for giving her a life sentence; hmm doesn't seem right! A person can now live with HIV for numerous years however, it's no walk in the park. I remember being assigned to my first patient with full blown AIDS when I became an ICU Nurse. My preceptor thought that it would be a great learning experience for me since a diagnoses of full blown AIDS isn't seen that often; in our part of the world that is. I appreciated the opportunity however, I remember being horrified and I felt so sad for the individual and his family. Words cannot describe what the human body goes through during this process. It's a terrible, terrible, terrible way to die! Be careful folks!

Omg how terrible :( I feel for the woman, she's probably so depressed right now. You are also right I'm almost certain as we type they are blaming the woman with the same old replayed phrase "She was the one who decided to blah blah blah".  It's so unfortunate. This kind of stuff makes me want to be asexual on purpose.

 

Black women have to stop listening to everyone else. Let people refer to you as uppity for not wanting to lay with every Tom, Dick and Harry, it's no different than being referred to as a whore for putting out too much. Put your body back on a pedestal, I can't say this enough. When I read stpries about these young girls who mess with these athletes and get played by them, I say to myself he could have left her with child or a STD, and no one will feel bad for her. Black women have to be wise this day and age, stop listening to people telling you what to do because if you ain't down you're square. I rather be square have my good health and life than trying to fit in and ruin it.

Toni_M 18709 pts moderator

This is terrible. 

 

It's bad enough that many black women have been infected by men who didn't know. I can't imagine the selfishness and evil that would cause someone to put someone else's life and health at risk on purpose.

 

But stories like this are a scary but necessary reminder of why it pays to be safe and ask questions and above all continuously vet the person you are with. Dating and marriage mean nothing if you are partnered with a cheating sociopath who thinks nothing about having unsafe sex with others and repeatedly infecting with STDs/STIs he or she has picked up.

 

This is one of those areas where "good faith" and wanting to please someone else needs to take a back seat to your own well-being, because some people really do not care and will manipulate you into putting yourself at risk.

GG123 361 pts

 Toni_M

 Also read a story of a pastor infecting some women at his church. He was married also. Very DBR. His response was very laid back also when confronted by one of the women. Told her simply what meds she should go for, and that it is  just an infection. So scarey. Stories like this remind me that is more than okay to be single.

DinaDina10 17 pts

Disgusting. Black men can do whatever they want to black women and women in general because they make themselves out to be victims to feel sorry for. Women are lonely AND feel sorry for the victim so they become victims themselves. If a black man hurts a black woman, no one cares because she is a black female and her men choose to not protect her. If a black man hurts a non-black woman, they blame the woman for being with a black man. Being with a victim is always a risk because people in pain cause pain. Nothing worse then an entitled male victim. Black or not, you will ALWAYS LOSE with these types. 

Lexi88 2180 pts

This is not new, and unfortunately will continue until black women learn to put their well-being first. I agree, the guy is a douchbag and deserve to be jailed, but the lady is just as guilty. Yes, the intent was there, but without a willing and a gullible partner his intentions would go no further than his hands.

 

The need to please our men, in spite of common sense is absolutely ridiculous. This is not the 70’s where information about HIV/AIDS is limited and thought to be a homosexual problem. Kids as young as 12 are getting the AIDS talk at school. This goes back to the root of all of our problems, low self-esteem .

 

The article didn't say how long they dated (if at all), but this practice of screwing anything hard because it feels good, is getting out of control. She had no issues sleeping with a complete stranger, yes he is a stranger… according to the article they met in 2009 and she learned about her status in 2010. I know it only takes one encounter, but clearly they did not take time to get to know one another. Women boast about getting a man’s social security number, in case of pregnancy and he bounces, but never think to ask about HIV status… we need a relationship 101 course ASAP!

 

No I’m not putting all of the blame on her, but as a parent your children's well-being trumps the need to feed the beast in your panties. What you do and the people you bring in to your life will affect the well-being of your child… so yeah, she is also to blame.

I know many will say abstinence does not work, and proper use and availability of condoms is the answer. Well in this case he refused to use a condom, and his overwhelming charm won her  over, so that argument is out the window. Contrary to popular belief, there is no shortage of condoms, but a huge decline of common sense. You can educate until your face turns blue, if it is not put into practice it is worthless. 

 

DinaDina10 17 pts

 Lexi88 I agree to a point. You focus a lot on the real victim rather then the perp. I can understand why you would want to in a world where you cannot afford to just trust people. But at the same time, people are manipulative and cunning and women have deep emotional needs and are often exhausted from caring and protecting children themselves. Therefore there is a tendency, in times of weakness, to want to believe something. In this case she may have wanted to believe that he was a good guy and it was time she relaxed and let someone in. Lesson learned? The only tip I can give women these days is ASK FOR PAPERS.

Lexi88 2180 pts

 DinaDina10 

I focus on the victim because I look at this from a parents point of view and a person who is tired of black women allowing themselves to be victimized over and over, like they don't have a say in the game. Is he cunning, disgusting and worthy of the sentence and more, ABSOLUTELY! 

 

But let's look at it this way, put aside her contracting HIV, there was also the risk of pregnancy with a man she obviously didn't know very well. We need to take control of our lives and quit relying on men (white, black or other) to make decisions for us. 

Yes, you're right, she may have hoped he was a good guy, but because of the many repercussions of having sex, I wouldn't advise anyone to jump in bed with a men base on hopes, maybes, possibly... unfortunately, sex is no longer a matter of love, but of life and death. As a parent, I take my life and death very seriously. 

GG123 361 pts

 Lexi88  DinaDina10

 One has to be careful. It is hard. I recenlty watched a program. Where it was the wife that was given HIV by her hubsand. They were an older couple also, like in their 50s at least. They met at the church.

kaylenematthews 137 pts

While I'm not saying white men or white people aren't capable of committing this, because I'm pretty sure some of them do (and I've heard of a few cases) the majority of the men doing this are black. I can honestly say I have more reservations about having sex with black men than with white men. Actually, I've never slept with a black man, and b/c of my preferences probably never will. But I always have my partner tested first, if he doesn't want to get tested then he gets no love. And while I'm not trying to place any blame on the woman, it takes two to tangle. She should have still made him wear a condom. It boggles my mind how in this day and age with all these diseases floating around, how people (esp women) allow themselves to play Russian roulette in the bedroom. I guess she figured b/c he was her son's coach that he must be "clean". I've been celibate for two years and love it. I find it nice not having to wonder if who I'm sleeping with is "clean." People like him are bitter because of the choices they made and so now they want others to suffer and feel their pain. Shame on him. She had nothing to do with him contracting the disease. Women protect yourself, because no one else will.

GG123 361 pts

 kaylenematthews"People like him are bitter because of the choices they made and so now they want others to suffer and feel their pain. Shame on him". That is so true! I find that in other areas of life also. I have women in my family members older ones, that having had many children out of wedlock and drama after drama. The strang thing is sometimes they want to convince me that is my fate also. No thanks.

Bellydancer 789 pts

Celibacy is a gift that some people need to start using. SMDH

Watch out for men who will take the condom off after you start having sex cuz they don't want to wear them but know you will complain so they put them on but take them off during sex deliberately.

Knew a lady who kept condoms in a cute box by her bed and a guy got mad and refused to have sex with her when she told him to pick one. I was WTF that negro turned his nose up like she was crazy so nope they didn't get it on that night although I think he was turned off that she had sex with other men but oh well.

Law Wanxi 5773 pts

 Bellydancer 

Celibacy? Really? That, and Birth Control, are not real popular topics here at BBW.

 

OK, before the mob of angry peasants show up with torches, pitchforks and scythes to inflict a painful death on you, I'll tell you I support you position. Completely. No body ever died from NOT having sex. I've been doing the "field research" on that for quite a few years. The rest of you can laugh derisively if you want, but you don't see me getting monthly STI panels, even if they are free to medical staff. A soul-less trip to the fun house just isn't worth it. I have better things to do with my life.

 

I am out.

PamelaFoster 604 pts

 Law Wanxi  Bellydancer

 You have no idea how much I respect your position on this. Most men would be concerned with losing "man cred" .

GG123 361 pts

 Bellydancer

 Wow that man had issues.

ShunJack 95 pts

 Bellydancer Yes it is a gift. It gift that keeps on giving when you realize you don't have those knots in your stomach every time you wait on the results of an STD test. I remain celibate because there is just too much risk out there and no amount of "education" on how to protect yourself means that the other individual is just as cautious and careful about their bodies. In today's world, casual sex is just too risky. Vetting is key to giving yourself to anyone. Apart of that vetting process is he and I going to get tested together. If he doesn't want to do that or takes issue with that, he will be immediately dropped.

EarthJeff 3238 pts

It blows my mind how anyone could do that... INTENTIONALLY infect someone.  I just dont get it.

dani-BBW 1784 pts

 EarthJeff Takes a lot of seething hatred and self-loathing.

KingsDaughter 4583 pts

:(( I've heard of stuff like this before but I'm sure this happens a lot more than we'd like to belief.

 

Ok in this case guy infected her intentionally but I want to ask how many people know their HIV status and their partner's? Some just think they're fine and have unprotected sex. Could even be in a marriage or monogamous relationship. Even when they start getting sick and suspect it's HIV/Aids they'd just continue to have sex. Denial and not opening that can of worms. Until they're virtually at death's door and it can't be hidden anymore. Women, take care of yourselves.

oekmama 1047 pts

Doesn't surprise me. He's no different than a serial killer. He's a walking angel of death, who decides that he's screwed, but he's not going down alone - so he chooses those he feels are are 'worthy' of being his victims. Or rather, undeserving of a good life, while he's saddled with this disease. And who does he feel should be suffering if not the same, then more than him? Black women.

thecrazyartist 2213 pts

This is just heartbreaking I hope this woman can get proper treatment and medical care, I hope her and her son are taken care of in all this.  If I see ANY trollish blame the victim comments anywhere online I am going in and reporting them.  This asshole deserves to be in jail.

 

Women need to vet men, don't be afraid to ask about sexual history and STD/STI testing.  Also, using birth control and condoms is a must, never skimp on safety.

 

 

VictoriaAntoine 436 pts

I Don't want to live in the Earth any more! Black women need to protect themselves when it comes to any sexual activities. If they need condoms, or women condom holla at me I got a box of them! I always practice safe sex. Mind you I would like to live a very long time!