Cyberharassment:  How far is too far?

Cyberharassment: How far is too far?

Although, it is mainly prevalent among teenagers, according to overcomingcyberbullying.com, adult women are reporting “adult groups dedicated to harassing and defaming other as well, along with websites created specifically to make fun of and demean individuals.

Author : eli.daniels

Author's Website | Articles from

Call me sensitive, but the computer, cellphones, and the Internet have allowed us to use it as a shield to tear down people.   When do we say enough is enough and someone has crossed the line?  Now this is mostly present among teenagers, but I feel that it’s crossed into the workplace and other professional environments.

Speaking from personal experience, a few years ago I came across a Facebook group dedicated to my junior high school.  I don’t know about you but Junior High was hell for me.  I attended a private, Christian school.  I had skipped a couple of grades so I was two years younger than most of my peers.  On top of that I developed very early, so I was not comfortable in my own skin and that showed.  I felt like it opened the door for most of the violence and derogatory words hurled my way.  Almost 12 years later I decided to click on that group just to see or in my own sad way relive the horror. And there it was in all its glory; my class photo and all my bullies came full force.  They relived everything they did to me.  The girls who helped them avoided the conversation, but the boys definitely relived their glory days.  I obviously had no comment since these arseholes obviously had no life.  Twice I reported and asked Facebook to take it down.  I changed my name, but I didn’t want to risk them finding my profile.  So I deactivated my account for several years.  Its sad to admit that just like that I regressed to that 11-year-old kid.  But I’m back on now and since the creation of pages, I haven’t seen it.  So out of sight out of mind.

Unfortunately, I know if I went through that, I cannot imagine what the younger generation is going through as they literally grew up with this technology.  But what about the adults who have lost their jobs, reputations, or even relationships due to a single moment of immaturity by either themselves who documented or friends, frenemies, even just plain enemies documented?  Could that be seen as cyberbullying or cyberharassment?  Yes, even if it is just words on a page.  Yes, even if it’s a lie.  But only if is meant to cause intentional harm.  Although, it is mainly prevalent among teenagers, according to overcomingcyberbullying.com, adult women are reporting “adult groups dedicated to harassing and defaming other as well, along with websites created specifically to make fun of and demean individuals.”

Misinformation is spread with the click of a link.  Workplace environments can become hostile from just that one click of a link that was sent from anywhere, possibly someone you didn’t even know.  Google is a monster!  The saddest part is even if the harassment crosses over into criminal territory, law enforcement does not have the tools necessary to combat it! Even though, almost every state has ratified laws in cyberstalking and cyberharassment most blog sites don’t have specific terms of service to protect individuals from cyberharassment.  Defamation of character is serious and you don’t have to make an online mistake to be a target.  It could happen due to an overheard harmless comment, someone attacking you for what you believe in, or simply you were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

A good word of advice:  Please be aware of everything you do and say while you enjoy your experience online. Don’t rely on the so-called safety of being “anonymous” online. Keep in mind that online is “real life” too. Also remember that anything you say, can and will be used against you. Words on a screen lack emotion. The words you write online can be warped and twisted to present a different and false picture if your cyberbully finds things you have said online. They often twist your words to fulfill their version of you in order to make you seem like the bad person in the situation.”

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phone system 17 pts

There has been a lot of deaths caused by cyber bullying or cyber harassment. It is so sad to know that bad things happen because of it. Why won't these bullies try to just be considerate with others' feelings.

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

Im so sorry this happened it sounds horrendous and just plain emotionally abusive. I'm about to go on what I call a social media diet starting December 1st, no posting on blogs, no blogging on my blog, no social media of any kind. Because after this election year, which social media drove me nuts. I was unfriending & banning all over the place. I'm thinking this may not be worth it. I took a break earlier this year and my spirit felt so light and now I'm wondering why did I come back. It's like breaking up and getting back together with someone and thinking, yea this why we broke up in the first place. I can't take it anymore, it's really starting to disturb me that I know so much about ppl that I really don't want to know. I figured if I could do it for a month maybe I could do it permanently. Because as much as I try to shield myself, vet ppl, it don't work the lunacy leaks through.

onmywayup 1918 pts

That junior high facebook group incident was just sad.  Seriously, I would think that such people would regret those types of things or at least want to forget about it and move on...instead of rehashing it on facebook.  Ugh!

 

I don't know what about the Internet lets people go crazy with saying outrageous things.

SwirlQueen 1066 pts

 onthewaydown

 My daughter can't understand why I won't let her have a FB page. 

heyimPearlilikefries 2119 pts

Talk about losers! Grown women! Sometimes the word 'adult' doesn't mean a thing!

somethingdifferent22 368 pts

 astringofpearls I certainly learned this when I was interning last month. The world "adult" never popped into the women who I worked with when it came to them gossiping about me and increasing my work load and going to lunch without me. It was like they never left high school.

heyimPearlilikefries 2119 pts

 somethingdifferent22  No really I know some 8 year olds who are better adults than adults!

heyimPearlilikefries 2119 pts

 somethingdifferent22  excuse the "I know *some* 8 year olds" LOL

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1910 pts

As many of our grandmothers would say, "If you wouldn't want it printed in the newspaper, don't say it!"

My latest conversation: Today's Message From "Just Climbing"

stephanie88 154 pts

As much as I love the internet, that's one factor that always bothered me -- people saying things that are hurtful that would not be normally said is "real life." I've never experienced cyberbullying, but I did have someone review a story I wrote and literally said I should be killed.  It was so bizarre because it's just a story, and her anger was unsettling.  I doubt if she attended a reading of my work she would threaten to kill me.  People feel a false safety online to let out their hatred.  

thecrazyartist 2419 pts

Look at it this way, you have grown up moved on and are doing positive things with your life, these losers are online belittling an 11 year old girl.  If bullying you was a highligh of their lives, then they lead a pathetic existence.

Toni_M 20082 pts moderator

That's pretty pathetic. I know it hurts, but if they're THAT gleeful, I'm willing to bet that was the highlight of their existence. Anyone recounting the glory-days of bullying an 11-year-old girl cannot have done anything of note with their lives, I'm not sorry to say.

DU2 2439 pts

12 years later and they are still acting like this? They are indeed losers. I do agree we have to watch our words on line.