Take a look at this bride. EEEKKKK–AAAACCKKK!!! Mommy I’m scared…

Remember Gremlins II? She’s a dead-ringer for the girl who hooked up with the corporate dude at the end.

And look!–they BOTH got married.

Can he bathe her and feed her after midnight? It’s a fair question.

Now, now. Some of you may say, day-um Chris! You’re so mean, making fun of people like that. And to them, I say this:

She wasn’t born with 7,000 piercings, so she’s fair game. Why someone would volunteer to be the girl gremlin is beyond all my understanding of this whole piercing/tattoo/ear-lob stretch earring/self-mutilation craze. Do you guys realize that you’ll be OLD one day and that beautiful butterfly tat at the small of your back will revert to a cocoon when your body shrinks and your skin keeps growing? And what are you gonna do when you take those circle-thingies out of your ears and there’s a big, gaping whole? Let birds perch in them? WHAAAATTT?

Ya’ll need HEY-SEUSS.