Have You Noticed? Changes in the Out-of-Wedlock Conversation in the Black Blogosphere

Is it just me (I hope it’s not) or have you noticed a marked change in the chitter-chatter in the black blogs about the out-of-wedlock sit-cha-wa-chun? Not only am I seeing a new-found awareness in addressing the issue with writers, I’m also seeing them in the comment section. The most recent that I’ve seen was a post by Demetria Lucas in Clutch where she said this:

I’ll join the chorus to say we, black folk, got problems: Piss-poor graduation rates, the number of children born out of wedlock or even into committed relationships, and the number of people incarcerated are issues that need addressing — not just criticizing — by us, even if we weren’t the ones who got that trend rolling down hill. I admit that.

I remember back when No Wedding No Womb first came to the scene and Demetria interviewed me about the controversy. She lives a NWNW lifestyle even before I came along pissing people off, but it makes my heart swell to see her come out right with it. Heck–even ratchet Bossip commenters are joining in the NWNW message, which for me is a hallelujah moment to the nth degree.

Please note I’m not taking in particular responsibility in any perceived sea change in attitudes–NWNW was and continues to be a group effort, and even before that, many folks on the BWE blogs were spouting the wisdom.

It’s just nice to see that finally, regardless of what the reason is behind it, folks are beginning to take a critical look about how damaging growing up with only half of a whole is on our kids, the community and our country. If all the markers of success are related to children growing up with two loving parents are correct, tell me, how does an 80% out-of-wedlock rate benefit African Americans? It doesn’t. Anyone who spouts to the contrary does not really care about the advancement of colored people, because they’re so busy capitalizing off of the misfortune of colored people.

We’re not even close to solving this problem, but the acknowledgement of it is a step in the right direction.



First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

–Mahatma Gandhi