Holly Petraeus: How Much Did She Owe It To Her Husband to Keep Herself Up?

Holly Petraeus: How Much Did She Owe It To Her Husband to Keep Herself Up?

Not to be cruel, but Holly Petraeus looks like a 50-something Peppermint Patty. Does that mean she deserved to be cheated on?

Author : Christelyn Karazin

Author's Website | Articles from

I know some of the ladies will bristle when they read this title, but hear me out before you go ballistic. There’s some very real (and uncomfortable) truths that we see being played out in this David Patraeus sex scandal. Take a look at the woman who allegedly engaged in the affair.

Paula Broadwell. I bet I know what this broad does well. ;-)

 

Now, look at Holly Petraeus.

Sorry Holly, you look like you could be Paula Broadwell’s grandma.

And then let’s look at the alleged other, OTHER woman.

 

Jill Kelley

What can we glean from the pictures of the two alleged mistresses?

David Petraeus likes his ladies to have toned arms.
David Petraeus is not a fan of women with gray hair.
David Petraeus likes his women to wear make-up.
David Petraeus likes his women to have a waistline.

Do these apparent truths absolve General Petraeus of being a Class A douche bag? No. But this is a prime example of the obvious differences of the female and the male mind. I’m sure Holly Petraeus thought it enough that she remained a faithful and dutiful wife, bearing David’s children and being a steadfast supporter of his work. Not to mention that Mrs. Petraeus has her own set of credentials, I’m sure. But the hard truth of it is, Holly Petraeus looks like a 50-something Peppermint Patty.

I wonder if David calls her, “Sir.” Just a question.

I know I sound cruel, and the feminist side of me is punching me dead in the nose for daring to state the obvious. But the practical side of me says, “Hey, it ain’t fair, but men are visual creatures and they like their women to LOOK like women!!” Truth: Holly, if she so chose, could easily improve herself in the looks department.  A little hair dye, a date with a gal at the MAC makeup counter, a gym membership and a girdle can do wonders. But would that have stopped General Petreaus from cheating and being a total a-hole? Probably not. But I guarantee there would be a lot more outrage from the public, wondering why he would stray when he had such a hot wife in his bed every night. Just saying.

Here’s a picture of a young Holly and David. David still looks like the the same dork he is. Holly is pretty as a daisy.

Someone PLEASE tell me I’m wrong. I WANT to be wrong. I really, really do.

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Brenda55 19641 pts moderator

We are up to 558 post in what has become a mean girl thread.

Were you empowered Ladies?

Did you learn something about negotiating Interracial relationships?

Did you learn something about your true feelings about the women who share the race with the men you are pursuing?

Did you learn something about:

Ageism?

Sexism?

Elitism?

 

The women who is being raked over the coals here is a private citizen.  Sure she is married to a public figure but she is not and here we are taking her apart. Much like Don Imus did to those Rutgers Basketball players when he called them Nappy Headed Hos. Nice company to be in. Those young women did not deserve what they got and neither does Holly Petreaus.

 

Her husband has shamed her in public and at the worse time the public is doing their part to make sure she knows that it is all her own fault because she does not fit a standard that we now expect older women to achieve.

 

If any group should know better it is the women who post on sites like this one. The women who are seen as the least and often times get it.  We women who often times do not fit America's standard of beauty. We have whole genres of music, literature, entertainment and the internet founded and supported for the sole purpose of our denigration. Everything about us from who we are to what we look like is

studied and othered.  Our pathology is broadcasted widely to all who will read. No matter what we contribute and what we accomplish we are seen as the root of all that is wrong in our families and our communities. You would think that we could be understanding of another women who is going through what may be the worst time in her life.

 

No we piled on and in some cases gleefully.

Such a shameful display of mean spiritedness.

 So much for the safe place.

 

Enough!

This thread is closed.

 

 

 

.

 

ELLE ROCHELLE 141 pts

While I do empathize with Mrs. Patreaus this is why it's important to keep your own individual identity whether you're married or not no it will not stop a man from cheating on you but women don't have to lose themselves altogether in the process.

I have to say I agree with you - provided she is interested in her husband sexually it is a good idea to try and look desirable. My take is that she is done with him in that department and doesn't feel the need to keep herself up to keep him interested. In fact it seems like she is doing everything she can to keep him away by looking like she does. Can't say I blame her, he looks like an old rodent - ick.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. I'm disgusted that a woman would write a post like this. A few things to think about:

 

1. If your spouse's 'letting themselves go' somehow justifies cheating on them in some way, do your marriage vows actually mean anything?

 

2.  The author attempts to justify this by saying that men are visual, like somehow attacking a woman for 'not keeping herself up' is just being understanding of the different way that men's sex drive works. So let's turn that around. Women, supposedly, are attracted to powerful, successful men. If a woman's husband had lost his job or not gotten a promotion because he didn't work hard enough, would it somehow be his fault if she cheated on him? No, that's disgusting. 

 

3. I can't believe that in this day and age, women are still looking at other women and only valuing them for their looks. Shouldn't we let  men do that? Women putting forth the idea that other women are only valuable for the way they look, and that if they don't do everything to maintain some standard of beauty then their husbands are somehow justified in cheating on them - this is the sort of garbage that keeps young women obsessed with their looks instead of focusing on being good friends, good students, successful, kind people. 

 

Ugh. 

Joyce345 1738 pts

I've taken a closer look at the picture provided and she doesn't seem so shabby. She actually looks neatly dressed. Maybe she hasn't kept up with fashion trends but that is understandable at her age. As for her body, she doesn't seem to have too much excess weight apart from a little middle age spread which is to be expected. I don't see what the big deal is. This is a 60 year old woman for goodness sakes.

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 Joyce345 Age is nothing but a number. Once upon a time, a woman in her thirties could like that and no one batted an eye. People aged faster, didn't live as long, and no one expected the married housewife to give a rat's behind about looking like she ever left the kitchen.

 

Maybe it's because I grew up with "The Golden Girls", but I never attached a lack of sex appeal to women growing older. If anything, that's an insult to women who are sexy and fabulous all the way to their death bed. 

 

Some women elect to keep themselves up and some women don't. We're talking about personal choices and reasons, NOT age. And I think it's unfair to continually make it about age, because it paints women as too old and tired to care. How beat up by life are women supposed to be in your mind?

 

Can we stop with this "poor old ladies are all losing their looks and their sex life is going to hell" shtick? Visit a retirement home sometime. Great-grandma is getting her life.

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

And before anyone comes at me about it, no I do NOT think this woman looks "beat up by life". She looks like a normal married woman her age. But I don't find her sexy. But then, that's fine as she probably couldn't care less if I'd personally want to sleep with her.

 

But at the same time, I really don't like the implications that ALL women just give up on taking care of themselves because "I'm old now". You're as old as you feel and you can be in your twenties and look and feel like hell. It's all in how you care about and for yourself.

Joyce345 1738 pts

 Toni_M 

I I also don't like the implications that her appearance caused her husbands infidelity. Men cheat because they can and because they want to. Some men cheat on their homely looking wives with sexy women, and other men cheat on their sexy looking trophy wives with homely women.

 

I will go as far as to say that many men will sleep with a woman purely because she is AVAILABLE and for no other reason.

 

Finally, if she does not look sexy it is probably because looking sexy isn't high on her list of priorities.

 

A lot of men sleep with a woman purely because she is available and he can get away with it. Not because she is necessarily hotter than his wife.

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 Joyce345 "I also don't like the implications that her appearance caused her husbands infidelity." 

 

That's certainly fair, and a major reason why I feel this conversation need not have happened in this particular context.

 

"Men cheat because they can and because they want to. Some men cheat on their homely looking wives with sexy women, and other men cheat on their sexy looking trophy wives with homely women."

 

It's an established fact that people cheat because they can. And this goes for women as well, since remember, both women in this situation are also married. Let's not pretend that all housewives are faithful and long suffering regardless of how they look. For all we know, Holly has a back door man and has been happily cheating herself. But unlike her husband, was smart enough to not get caught. We don't know what goes on in a marriage because we're not in it. And perhaps we're selling Holly a bit short. Who knows, despite her appearance, she may have had access to younger, attractive men. We're all on the outside looking in.

 

 

"Finally, if she does not look sexy it is probably because looking sexy isn't high on her list of priorities."

 

And that's her right and individual choice. Other people don't feel being married for decades to one person means abandoning their sex appeal. Either for their own sake or for their significant other's sake. 

Criticalthinker 385 pts

 Toni_M  Joyce345 Yeah, never thought I would quote Tamar Braxton, but yeah, "Get yo life!" is correct. ITS IN THE MIND. I stand by that too Toni. Age, race and anything else is not an issue. People should definitely reference Wendy Ida...She even says it is a mind thing. She got her life at 43 and still getting it...

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 Criticalthinker  Joyce345  I guess I just don't see the point of writing off a woman's ability to be sexy and sensual because she's 60. I didn't look at her and think, "HA HA, SHE'S TO OLD TO BE PRETTY!" 

 

I don't know where this idea is coming from, because it's just not the truth. While I do agree that it's unfair to imply that keeping your looks up can keep your man from straying, I think that there are many ways to counter-attack the argument that do not included, "Well, what do you expect from a woman who's sixty?" Because....Ouch.

Criticalthinker 385 pts

 Toni_M  Joyce345 True, so true...

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 Criticalthinker  Joyce345  It's silly but I see comments like that and I think about my mom, whose 50+ and one of the prettiest women I know. My mom is like, "LOL I AM A HOT MAMA AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE! :D" And it's true. She's beautiful and she has men half her age trying to chase her (but not while my dad is present because they'd end up in the morgue. :B"

 

This is why I say I think a lot of people are projecting their own feelings because this discussion makes me think about my mom a bit. 

The Working Home Keeper 6638 pts

 Toni_M  Criticalthinker  Joyce345 Absolutely agree Toni!  I'm not about to give up on looking my best just because I'm older. 

 

"Other people don't feel being married for decades to one person means abandoning their sex appeal. Either for their own sake or for their significant other's sake."

 

Definitely agree with this too!

Joyce345 1738 pts

 Toni_M  Criticalthinker 

Btw, I notice some have suggested that there are bw who delight in Holly's predicament just because she is white.

 

I have read through most of the comments and I don't get the feeling that we have a whole bunch of women celebrating her suffering just because she is white.

 

I do however think that a lot of women - of all races - are being hard on her because she is a 60-year-old woman who dresses a certain way.

NewMaya3 357 pts

Interesting thing is that both women downgraded in looks going from their husbands (who both by the way are doctors) to General Petraus. 

 

Personally, I know of a good looking, young, white couple who are married and the wife is beautiful.  He met a beautiful black woman through work.   They connected, had a lot of chemistry and ended up having an affair.  From what I understand, the wife did everyting she was supposed to do.  Nobody ever found out about the affair.

The Working Home Keeper 6638 pts

 NewMaya3 "Interesting thing is that both women downgraded in looks going from their husbands (who both by the way are doctors) to General Petraus."

 

Downgraded in terms of looks.  But upgraded in terms of status.  Powerful men (men of status, wealth and/or influence) attract women.  Even when they don't look like "10s".   

NewMaya3 357 pts

 The Working Home Keeper

 I know.  I forgot to add that in.  Power is to women what looks is to men.  A beautiful, powerless woman can do well in life with the opposite sex.  An unattractive, powerful man can do well in life with women.

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 NewMaya3  The Working Home Keeper  Sometimes but not always. I will never put out for Donald Trump. I think I would honestly rather starve to death than let that walking wig-piece touch me.

 

It's not so black and white, really. Maybe these women were after something more than sex (another post is tackling the "there's more to this than meets the eye" angle, and it's really interesting). And they were willing to use their feminine charms to get it.

 

Holly was already married to a powerful man. I do suspect if there were things she wanted and needed, she'd have an easier time getting them than an unconnected woman. Things ranging from procedures to keep herself up if she really wanted to programs and fundraisers. I don't think this woman was without power and influence, and as the wife, she wielded them legitimately. 

 

At the end of it all, in this particular case, I really don't think her looks mattered at all. I believe in all sincerity she was getting and had everything she wanted.

 

The less stable characters were the other women, who had taken to fighting each other for a piece of someone else's pie. They viewed each other as competition for scarce resources (power and connections) and this is the end result.

 

I guess one true lesson in all of this is that networking should be about making connections based not just on how powerful someone is or how attractive someone is, but whether or not being connected to that person will bite you in the behind down the road.

 

The women's networks are crumbling as implications are being made that threaten the reputation and stability of who knows HOW MANY people. And the men in question? Their power cannot save them from the comeuppance about to hit them like a ton of bricks.

 

Yes, power is "sexy", but being so blind about negative consequences that you think power makes you invulnerable is not sexy. Truth be told, It's dangerous and stupid.

EarthJeff 3344 pts

 The Working Home Keeper  NewMaya3 "Downgraded in terms of looks.  But upgraded in terms of status.  Powerful men (men of status, wealth and/or influence) attract women.  Even when they don't look like "10s".   "

So does that mean that those of us who are neither a "10" nor powerful, well, we are just out of luck?

NewMaya3 357 pts

 EarthJeff  

You look like the total package to me.  Any woman should be happy to have you!

 
The Working Home Keeper 6638 pts

 EarthJeff  NewMaya3 "10" is subjective. 

Brice Cameron 2076 pts

 EarthJeff  

 

"So does that mean that those of us who are neither a "10" nor powerful, well, we are just out of luck?"

 

We are in the same boat there.  We may not have a parade of harlots chasing us, but one quality woman is enough for me.

EarthJeff 3344 pts

 NewMaya3 "You look like the total package to me.  Any woman should be happy to have you!"

Well, she is.  Not sure I am the total package.  OK, I will share a funny story.  One day Bee and I were sitting and kind of cuddling on the couch and she said " Mmmmmmm,  I am going to get you a set of weights".  To which I promptly replied "Did you just call me a weak-ass Mo' Fo'?  (Actually I did use the full words)".  So she starts with "no, no, I didnt mean that..".  Thats what it sounded like to me.... lol.... we still laugh about that.  Every now and then she will say something nice to me and I will add "yes... for a weak ass Mo Fo"....

EarthJeff 3344 pts

 Brice Cameron "We are in the same boat there.  We may not have a parade of harlots chasing us, but one quality woman is enough for me."

Me too......  the parade of harlots would be nice.... get to look at each for three seconds each.  But ONLY three seconds

Brice Cameron 2076 pts

 The Working Home Keeper  NewMaya3 

Goes to show you that there is always somebody better looking or more powerful.  Both of these guys are successful and would be considered catches by many women.  But it apparently wasn't enough for their wives.

Statuesque 1749 pts

How much did she owe it to her husband to keep herself up?

 

Nothing at all is my answer.  They both owe it to THEIR MARRIAGE to do what it takes to sustain fidelity and keep it intact.  If they are not BOTH 100% focused on that, and aligned on what it means, the marriage will be in danger and could fail.  It is clear that they were both not 100% focused on giving one another what each needs and their marriage has suffered.  The weight and gray hair did not cause this anymore than his ambition and time away from home.  It feels comforting to blame the dowdy old lady but the reality is that ALL of these people, no matter how old or attractive, are married.  Is Broadwell's husband to blame because he gained weight or didn't make enough money? Is Kelley's husband to blame because he isn't a Washington insider who can make his wife feel important?

 

Men who have a strong need to be with a trophy go and get one, and upgrade when they get "tarnished" with age or gravity.  That doesn't appear to be Petraeus's M.O.  Think of someone like Donald Trump.  Very different behavior.

 

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship or a marriage needs to acknowledge that there are times when you aren't happy and start to project onto the significant other.  Many people at that juncture choose to cheat, gain weight, throw yourself into the kids, or work or whatever, and DO NOT choose to confront the problem and embrace their commitment.  I'm not even saying that's a "should," just that it doesn't happen for many reasons.

 

No one on this earth owes another person their happiness and well-being as the "price" for anything.  That's not personal freedom.  I don't "keep myself up" for another person.  I choose a person who is happy with me as I am.  I choose to be with a person whom I don't wish would change.  If two people keep choosing one another, year after year, and BOTH do what it takes, that's a beautiful thing. If one or both can't, well, that's what breaking up or divorce is for.

 

Zindzi_Zenani 1399 pts

 Statuesque I hadn't thought of that...perhaps some married womben are comfortable with blaming things they feel they can control.  Maybe that makes them feel like it won't happen to them as long as they do what they think they need to do.  Good point.

Statuesque 1749 pts

 Zindzi_Zenani I see that a lot Zindzi.  But I think it is a human thing and not .  We would rather feel like we can control things we really can't.  I do it too but I try to remember it's an illusion.  I'm not taking responsibility for what an adult chooses to do but I will acknowledge how my own behavior and choices factor in.  It's a two way street.

Statuesque 1749 pts

 Zindzi_Zenani ...and not a married woman thing.  I hit the button too soon!

Joyce345 1738 pts

 Zindzi_Zenani  Statuesque 

 

The reality is that many men will sleep with a woman simply because she is AVAILABLE and for no other reason.

Criticalthinker 385 pts

This article has caused such an uproar that my response was supposed to be somewhat to a "@Patricia Kayden"( but not entirely) but I cannot even find her thread right now. She asked what I thought a decent wife should look like? Well, attractive for yourself-FIRST and foremost. And yes, I did my research, her children were aADULT, so she could have a little time to invest in Holly. I digress, again..And yes Law, Brenda55 and many others were ALL correct and put it down about their take and I even agreed with them about her husband. But her husband is another disgusting matter and the other low quality women and not the main focus of what was presented in the article.

 

Being a shell of a person and "invisible" is a lack of self love and other psychological issues going on when it physically shows in appearance. And though it must be considered a lost generational thing to put yourself last, (now apparently lost among the younger ones) for things seen as character and values for your family these days , I differ...And I am not a vain person. But to be a supposedly smart woman and "martyr" yourself for your husband's career, when you could have taken him to the bank, got out of a relationship she probably have known was not working and looked good for yourself and found someone whom respected you and loved you for your great character.  She had that choice. We all have choices, and she chose to stay. Her kids were GROWN.  Was she staying because she felt he had the chance at maybe one day being the president and she wanted to take that ride? I don't know. But she stayed. And graduating Summa Cum Laude from Dickinson, you better believe she wasn't shocked and did not have signs. Most women DO see signs. Psychologists on this scandal even said "she must have had blinders on and stayed on for other apparent reasons."

 

Do I believe he needs to be strung up by his B*** sack and humiliated, of course. Check out Law's take of what he thinks should happen, that sums it up best. But  do I believe I should be a shell of a person and invisible just because I feel like someone is more important than me? That goes against everything I've journeyed in my life to accomplish...You can't love anyone else until you love yourself first. And when you choose to be ingrained with being last, something is just plain wrong with that mindset, IMHO...

Criticalthinker 385 pts

 Typo...that HE had the chance of being the president...

Joyce345 1738 pts

She definitely could put more effort into her appearance. But to be honest, how do we know that he would have been faithful had she been a raven haired, slender woman with an  hourglass figure? We don't!

 

I look good for myself, not to keep my husband faithful. Only he can do that.

Joyce345 1738 pts

I also think that American culture is very shallow tbh. I'm shocked at the number of people who honestly believe that weight gain is as bad as infidelity. Huh???

 

Far too many people think that it is their marriage partners job to keep them happy. No wonder the divorce rate is 50%.

Zindzi_Zenani 1399 pts

 Joyce345 "I look good for myself, not to keep my husband faithful. Only he can do that."

 

EXACTLY.  He's a grown man and the onus to not cheat is SOLELY ON HIM.

onmywayup 1799 pts

Okay, so what came to mind for me was the context.  I knew that was going to generate controversy.  I wonder how the reactions would be if the question was merely whether spouses have a duty to make an effort at their physical appearance throughout their marriage. 

 

The answer to that question, in my general opinion, is yes.  About six months ago, I would have been railing against this, wondering why he couldn't appreciate me for who I am on the inside?  And yeah, I still think that he should appreciate my insides, but the outside does matter.  I used to believe otherwise, but I was just lying to myself.  It sucks, but sorry.  I also now see that taking care of yourself is a sign of respect to yourself and the relationship.

 

Now before I get jumped on: I am not saying that it is the only thing that matters in a marriage.  A marriage (not some casual dating "relationship") should be so much more.  However, I also think maintaining a semblance of attractiveness is part of that package. 

 

I don't think that is the reason Mrs. Petraeus was cheated on at all.  I think her husband is like all of those powerful political figures who develop big egos and start thinking they can do whatever they want.  She could have been super hot and still been cheated on. However, in a general sense, I think people should try to look attractive for their spouses.  (And for the men who don't want to believe that gaining 100 pounds makes them less desirable, or that they are not entitled to 120-pound model with a C cup when they are 250 pounds and dress like slobs, well they are not exempt from this message either.)

 

So overall, Christelyn, I get where you are coming from with this article and I agree (with the fact that spouses should try to take care of themselves).  I think the sexist part would come in when we think that only women are obligated to do this, but I don't ever recall hearing you say that, so...

Wakawaka 101 pts

 onthewaydown Honestly I think some are just getting too emotional and could take it personally. The truth hurts but it's still the truth. If I am busting my @ss to look the best I can, best believe I expect the same from my partner, this applies to both males and females in the relationship.She just needs better grooming.There are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones ~ Coco Chanel.

onmywayup 1799 pts

 Wakawaka  ss "Honestly I think some are just getting too emotional and could take it personally."

 

For me this was most certainly true.  I grew up with my mother trying to train me to value my appearance as well as my academics (I was a nerdy bookworm growing up), and the idea that my appearance mattered as well frustrated the heck out of me.  It was not until fairly recently (long after my mother gave up) that I discovered that my mother was right.  When I got upset it was because I truly did not believe I could look good.  It was a deep-seated, unconscious belief I held.  So I pushed away from anything revolving around maintaining myself.  I mean, I ate junk food all the time, wore the sloppiest clothes ever, wore my hair in unflattering styles. I did not realize that the effort I put into looking bad was the same effort I could put into looking good.  Currently, my younger sister is going through the same phase...and she is in college.  I had to tell her what time it was because there was no way she was going down like that, at a prime time for dating and meeting marriageable men!

 

Anyway, I certainly cannot speak for anyone else, but for me--your statement was definitely, undoubtedly true at one point.

Wakawaka 101 pts

 onthewaydown  ss I was also the same way onthewaydown , I was the nerdy bookish baggy clothes type. I never cared about how I looked and I always thought, "I will find someone who likes me for me, there's more in life than looks."- despite my mother warning me. Well that got old fast. I learned the hard way in college that it's not true when all my girlfriends who seemed to value their appearance got more attention from the opposite sex than I did. I finally took the jump, worked on myself and let's just say it's a great feeling. I finally saw the light!I haven't looked back!

 

The Working Home Keeper 6638 pts

 onthewaydown "I am not saying that it is the only thing that matters in a marriage.  A marriage (not some casual dating "relationship") should be so much more.  However, I also think maintaining a semblance of attractiveness is part of that package."

 

Agreed!  And that's what I spoke to in my previous comments.  As a wife, I feel a duty to maintain an appearance that my husband finds pleasing and attractive.  For me, that means keeping my weight reasonable because my husband prefers small women (I knew this about him from the get go).  If we are going to be together until our final breaths, why wouldn't I want to present my best self to my husband?  He's certainly worth it!  It's not about looking 20 when you're 60.  It's about maintaining an effort at whatever age you are.

 

 

onmywayup 1799 pts

 The Working Home Keeper I totally agree!  And may I add that I find inspiration from your blog as to where I want to be a few years from now?  I love your vintage inspired dress style! (Not to mention all the homemaking tips.)

Zindzi_Zenani 1399 pts

 onthewaydown YOUR truth is not necessarily everyone's.  Trust me, everyone doesn't think that looking good will keep them or their spouses from cheating.  A few married folks on this very thread have rejected that as the truth, so I don't think its safe to say, "the truth hurts but its still the truth."  However, if this is YOUR truth, I can see how that would hurt.  I'd be hurt if I thought I that my husband (or potential husband) would leave me or cheat on me for gaining weight too.

Toni_M 18949 pts moderator

 onthewaydown "Okay, so what came to mind for me was the context.  I knew that was going to generate controversy.  I wonder how the reactions would be if the question was merely whether spouses have a duty to make an effort at their physical appearance throughout their marriage. "

 

I've submitted a post asking this question removed from the context because I do think it's worth exploring without all this speculative hoopla. Also asked the question whether or not a woman's looks determine how sympathetic people are to her if she's wronged. 

 

This affair makes a poor backdrop for this discussion because that's all anyone is going to talk about. As @wakawaka said people's emotions are clearly running high, and nobody wants to talk about the question.

 

It should be interesting what people have to say (or don't) once this is lifted from speculating and gossiping about a political marriage.

Wakawaka 101 pts

Christelyn, people might call you you mean, but you wrote what  what a LOT of people are thinking. Homegirl looks beat. There's no reason for her to be walking around looking like Susan Boyle. If I didn't know these people and I bumped into them at a grocery store in present time the first thing I would think is"He can do so much better." Lawd! Looking at the jump off,  I can see why he would want to hit that. I watched a video of Holly on youtube and she had this boring monotone voice and looked even more homely than she does in photos(if that is even possible), she seriously looked like she had no energy. She looks like she doesn't care or love herself to be walking around looking like that.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if these two were over years ago, they are probably together for the image just like a lot of political couples. How can a man get hard looking at that? Just looking at the photos of these women it's a no brainer.Is it harsh?maybe, but I am writing what a lot of people who have seen her are thinking.

diamondgal 431 pts

I agree with SonjaLionMackey. I find this to be a very cruel and vicious post. Like someone mentioned and I stated earlier, the very people posting and making such harsh judgements are the VERY ones who go insane when Lil Wayne makes comments about women who resemble them (based on complexion). And even he isn't this harsh. It's not ok for them, but ok for you? You know how it is to be rejected on the basis of appearance. You never know what this woman is going through. She could have a thyroid issue or she simply may have more to think about than her appearance. Not sure how old this poster is, but come back and write this article when you are 50+. Bottom line, no woman should in any way be held accountable when her husband cheats on her. That's his issue - not hers. To aswirlgirls point, there is a vast difference in your BFF or people close to you being honest because they care for you and want to see you improve. Than a vicious assessment online from someone who doesn't know you and kicks you when your down. BTW, the reason this bothers me so much is because I don't like seeing other women tear each other down, especially when they are always complaining about being slighted themselves.

 

Christyn, remember when the black guy (on Twitter) said such ignorant things to you about appearance?  How is this any different?  This is just sooo mean spirited, cruel and necessary.  And that Peppermint Patty comparison is beyond petty and immature.  This woman is going through every married woman's nightmare.  Show some respect! 

diamondgal 431 pts

Not to mention, this post set women back 50 years.

Jamila 7277 pts moderator

 diamondgal I disagree: No one woman can set women back 50 years. 

diamondgal 431 pts

 Jamila I disagree:  There is some power in one statement.  This mentality alone shows regression. 

 

Also, if one person doesn't have any influence, again, why do people become so angry when a no name rapper says something derogatory?