Anyone Nervous About Wearing Their Natural Hair to the Rainbeau’s Parents House During the Holidays?

Anyone Nervous About Wearing Their Natural Hair to the Rainbeau’s Parents House During the Holidays?

I remember the first time I met The Hubster’s parents. I was more nervous than a swim suit model at a Taliban convention.

Author : Christelyn Karazin

Author's Website | Articles from

I remember the first time I met The Hubster’s parents. I was more nervous than a swim suit model at a Taliban convention. As I mentioned in my book, “Swirling,” meeting your rainbeau’s parental units can be a source of stress on an interracial relationship, and my experience was no different. So before I left on the plane trip to Connecticut, I made sure my hair was blow dried, pressed and curled to perfection. Since I started dating Mike before I embarked on my natural hair journey, what I did wasn’t anything different than what I’d always done on special occasions.

But when I started the journey and began to wear my hair natural–twist outs, wash-and-go’s (which look terrible on me, much to my chagrin)–I was still nervous about Mike’s parents seeing my hair in the raw because I was looking forward to the awkward explanations about Afro-textured hair to people who hadn’t a clue. But as my confidence grew with styling my hair, and the empowering feeling of embracing my hair in all it’s kinky coily glory, coupled with Mikes growing understanding and support, I decided that the next time my in-laws saw me, I was going to wear my hair the way God made it.

The first time I wore it this way, my mother-in-law said something like, “That’s an interesting style.” Now, knowing her, if she likes something, she’ll say so. If she’s not sure, she’ll say, “That’s interesting.”

I knew my real hair would have to grow on her, but didn’t care. This was who I was, and she would just have to get with the program. Of course she eventually did.

Me and “Mom” last summer at their home in Connecticut

Ironically, the person who still seems to be uncomfortable about my natural hair is my mother, who drops not-so-subtle hits about how my hair would be so gorgeous straightened.

Tips to Get Your Natural Hair Holiday Ready

Wear a style you feel most comfortable wearing. When you feel confident, it shows. If you give off the impression that you’re insecure with your hair, don’t be surprised if others pick up on the vibe.

Now is not the time to experiment. If you’re thinking of wearing a new look, try it first at home.

Stay with the tried-and-true hair products that have worked best on your hair in the past.

Jazz up your every day style with some dressy earrings and some hair bling.

Be Sociable! Share!
Pinterest


Related Posts


Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Naomi2 25 pts

I never thought about this as a concern.  My hair is what it is, it grows from my head.  Maybe non-black people don't realize that our hair doesn't grow in a straight pattern out of our scalps??

 

Before she even met me, my boyfriend's mother told him, "I don't want grandchildren with black people's hair!" So...I guess it doesn't matter how I wore my hair to meet her, she knew it wasn't straight anyway.

 

One day I was wearing a head scarf because I didn't have time to finish twisting my hair before running an errand.  I didn't know my boyfriend had snapped a picture of me, he said I looked cute, like little red riding hood. LOL.  He showed his mother a picture of me and she was pleased that I wasn't fat; but made a comment that she couldn't see what kind of hair that I have growing out of my scalp.

onmywayup 1919 pts

 Naomi2 Wow...your boyfriend's mother...for real though.

EmilySpring 286 pts

Natural hair, to me, is shockingly beautiful.  I wear it proudly and love seeing it on other women.  I'm proud of it and don't mind when others touch or talk about my hair inquisitively.  On a bad hair day, though, I'm not going anywhere, but I haven't had much of those since going natural (since 2000)... I can always throw on a scarf.  I think as long as you're fine with your hair, your confidence will supersede any misgivings by others around you.  Your hair becomes a part of your glow.

I never even thought of this as being an issue and frankly I'm suprised that ppl care. I have been natural for almost a year now and it's one of the best decisions I've made because I feel like it's liberated me. We as people spend too much time caring about what others think instead of just accepting ourselves as who we are. Whether you have coarse, soft, thinning, frizzy, red, brown,black, or blonde hair you should be accepted the way you are. I've never been in an interracial relationship and I am open to dating any guy of any race or color as long as he has a great attitude and personality and I would hope his parents wouldn't dislike me or judge me based on my choice of hairstyle. I wonder why other races are so fascinated about textures of black hair, it doesn't seem that blacks are so fascinated or inquisitive about hair textures of other races. I could be wrong...

BryanTruong 59 pts

My gf was when she finally got an invite to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. My gf has worn her hair natural for years, since long before she met me. It was a point of contention, particularly with my mom, for a while. Although my parents did ask her some questions about her hair, she kept her cool and I spoke up for her as well. Overall though my parents were very nice and quite hospitable to her, and in private told me they liked almost everything about her, so it became a non-issue.

Blackberry 1228 pts

Never really thought about it before...but my friend (black) just finished telling how she needed to take her twists out before going to the hair shop on the weekend. She was running out of time and her polish boyfriend jumped in a helped take her hair down so she wouldn't miss her appointment! So jealous! Never heard of a bf actually helping in the go-natural process! Not extended family, but still.

Bren82 1395 pts

@Blackberry That's sweet. My husband has helped me grease my scalp before.

EarthJeff 3600 pts

 Bren82  Blackberry "That's sweet. My husband has helped me grease my scalp before."

Cool.  I havent done that, but Bee has had me wash and condition her hair .... actually we have washed each other's hair....  goofy, I know....

Brenda55 21014 pts moderator

 EarthJeff  Bren82  Blackberry 

Sounds like good clean fun to me. 

EarthJeff 3600 pts

 Brenda55  EarthJeff  Bren82  Blackberry "Sounds like good clean fun to me. "

It is good clean fun.  Very intimate, very sensual.  Funny this came up today because just a few hours after I wrote it, I saw Bee at the end of the school day.  Her hair was all glued down to her head with gel, and first thing she said to me was "hey, can you wash my hair for me today?"

LaFemmeSphinx 286 pts

 Bren82  Blackberry I literally laughed out loud at this. Yes it's beyond sweet, but I immediately thought of that episode of Girlfriends where Toni is thinking about getting together with Greg, and she tells Joan that he used to grease her scalp while she was studying. Joan being ever comical, had Maya add "he will grease my scalp" to The List.

 

Let me find a man who is willing to help me with my hair from time to time. That one's a keeper!

EarthJeff 3600 pts

Chris... Diggin' on the earrings and shades....

VictoriaAntoine 452 pts

Personally I am bald woman. So my hair anymore. I hope my future in law would accept me for who I am.

 

WorldTravelingChic 737 pts

I don't have to worry about this at the moment, but I have to admit that I LOVE explaining Afro-textured hair (and other cultural norms) to people. I look at it as an opportunity to expand their thinking and open the door for dialog brings greater understanding about "the other". Must be the teacher in me. :)

 

I do agree with DWB to a point - most people of other cultures can't tell the difference. I think more are becoming aware of this movement towards natural hair, though, because I've been getting way more questions and comments over the last few months. Last month, while walking downtown I had a white guy stop me so he could let me know that he loves when women wear their hair "that way." Others ask questions when they find I'm open and not offended by their curiosity.

 

I might not be as excited about fielding this interest if I were meeting a rainbeau's folks, though. It sounds like a little more added pressure to make a good impression. Guess I'll have to wait and see! The tips you gave - especially the part about not experimenting - seems like plain old common sense.

DWB 8904 pts

"Anyone Nervous About Wearing Their Natural Hair to the Rainbeau’s Parents House During the Holidays?"

 

I hope I'm not giving away state secrets of white America, but most white folks won't know the difference if you wore the same hair you were born with or if you bought it ten minutes ago. :-)

 

And I still think your hair is beautiful...

FriendsofJay 1980 pts

Wow! Chris, I'd like to find the girl with the Santa Claus hat in my stocking on Christmas morning!