o_O! Abiola Abrams Talks Sex Toys!

eugeniamitchell

You can't spank me, Eugenia, I might enjoy it too much... LOL

eugeniamitchell Is it just me or did she just say something that prompts a "you wouldnt dare" response? And just when it seemed like this blog couldnt get any freakier,,, OK, Eugenia, lets hear an inventory of the tools you SUPPOSEDLY have and theoretically know how to use.... Because, gee, while we all know we werent supposed to drink and drive, well, you know, we had to get home somehow so , umm, we did at least drive slow and safe.... ;)

EarthJeff Some things happen between me and the hubby and no one else. Sorry, you'd have to put a ring on it to get that info. Since I already got a ring on it, too late LOL. Sorry to let you fellas down just call me 'tease'.

eugeniamitchell LOLOLOL. Your hubby got himself a good one, even if he does apparently have to watch his step... ;) Hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eugenia...

EarthJeff I did, thank you! Hope you had a good one too.

EarthJeff And you I'm more blessed than he is cause I got him.

Brenda55 Not the Veuve! I am jealous! Have fun.....

Mocha ZBrenda55 me too(jealous)...all i've got on hand is Coke Zero and vodka. haha

Brenda55

Thanks to the flu all I could down was tea liberally laced with brandy..

I would not have been able to cope with delish but too cold bubbly:)

To be fair I don't drink much champagne as it always gives me a headache:( but its lovely for certain occasions. I love Veuve Cliquot and Tattinger - there is a new? one I had on Xmas day called Nocturne (Tattinger)..yummy.

I do like Kir Royales though, yeah I can take my bubbly that way

You clearly had an amazing New year transition.lol!

Go girl..

Christelyn

I plead the Fifth...

Christelyn OK, in that case I suggest that you stay off motorcycles, dont go to the rolled carpet section in the store, keep all the Pyrex in the cupboard, and keep the Wedge in the closet. Have a great, safe, and keep-the-family-the-same-size New Years!

EarthJeffChristelyn NATruthstudent LOLZ! Happy New Year/Bonne Année!

Christelyn Still in shock about it? Does Jeff the Biology teacher REALLY have to explain how that happens? I am supposed to be on break....

EarthJeff

Is there someone at school you would like to ask out on a date?

ann4950 Not necessarily. Dating folks at work can get sticky. It would really depend....

Christelyn

Smiles.

DidiO

Happy New Year to you as well! We've got just under 7 hrs to go here in Michigan. I've got my fingers crossed that I'll be away to see it. lol. Perhaps it wasn't my be idea to be up with my husband and daughter chattng at 4:00 am this morning - don't ask. haha.

DidiO Feel better soon

LovingMyself

Cold shower now.

Actually I think you might be on the something. I have a teenager. I remember at her age I started to...uh...explore "self pleaurse" but felt shame about it because my mother just told me sex is bad, don't do it. All sex--even with yourself. I didn't believe her, but I still felt the shame. I think I may have to teach my daughter that it's okay to uh...pleasure herself. ltd139

Christelyn Me too! My aunt had me convinced that I'd rot in hell - my mother wouldn't address the issue at all.

When my daughter was younger (around 5 or so) she asked me what was that thing above her vagina (she had found the magic button, lol) so we had to have a talk then and lay down some ground rules. It's perfectly ok to touch, but only with your clean hands, in the privacy of your own room, by yourself, and you must wash your hands after. She lost interest within a year or so, but has rediscoved things recently. I just don't want her to be ashamed of her body.

I know someone who told me that she can never be without a man because she has never been able to orgasm by herself. That is sad and scary, especially after seeing some of the boo boos she's been with. And I don't want that for my daughter.

ltd139Christelyn

Itd, you're so right on what you told your daughter. And the way she responded to the knowledge is about right for her age at the time, from what little I know of child psychology. My own intro to that topic came at about age 13 or 14, and was considerably more comprehensive. It was the whole "birds and bees" talk, complete with old black-and-white pictures of a variety of "activities".

How it started was, we were all watching an episode of "Marcus Welby, M.D." where one of the patients had VD. I turned around to my father and asked, "What's VD?" My mother got all red in the face, but my father sat me down at the dining room table, brought out an old shoe box with all those pictures, and proceeded to explain, as the old saying goes, "the facts of life".

NATruthstudentChristelyn

Thanks! I bought her a book called 'It's Perfectly Normal' to help jump start conversations and it has worked wonderfully. It's an excellent book IMO http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325367168&sr=1-1 .

I just want her to not be afraid and to be prepared.

Christelyn ltd139 Sigh. Great to see some dynamic parenting, particularly with girls and sex. I wish I had it. My mom is a medical professional and we never really talked about it. Luckily for her, I wasn't that curious. We had an educational film when I was in fourth grade about feminine mysteries; we were way too young because all the girls were freaked out. When I got home, my mom asked if I had any questions. I just shuddered and said no. Then she presented me with some kit from Kotex, wrapped in a pretty pink package. I looked straight at her and said, "I won't need that. I'll just will all that stuff not to happen." She tried but I was adamant. I was nine years old at the time; I just couldn't imagine something so gross. When I was 12, I found out that my will wasn't strong enough and I was pissed!! That was also when we saw the film about babies, in sixth grade. My head was spinning; I just couldn't accept it. By the time I was in high school, I was totally confused; why would anyone want to do it and risk the pregnancy? I took it upon myself to sneak to the bookstore and bought "Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Sex..." What an eye opener! I got my hands on every book I could read regarding sex so I would be, if not a professional, at least knowledgeable and not so scared. One of my favorites? "Our Bodies, Our Selves". I gave that one to my oldest niece and she loved it.

KarlaChristelyn ltd139

In my culture sex is never discussed with kids. It's all -dont' do it, you'll get preggers, be disowned and shamed. Wait till you're a virgin before you marry.

It's not so much the sex part of it that young girls should be taught its how to VALUE themselves, have great self-esteem, vet all potential boyfriends and have the self-knowlege to say 'I am not ready for this or at least, not with you'. I don't think girls should be having sex before age 18yr, ideally not younger than 20 but if the right choices are made, no experience will be put down as regretted.

DidiOKarlaChristelyn ltd139 Sex as COMMODITY - therefore, having commercial value ... in short supply ... to be hoarded ... metered out, getting the most value for giving the least ... preserved for the future ... etc.

EEEWWWWWWW!!!

KarlaChristelyn ltd139 My mom gave me 'Our bodies, Our Selve' at about age 11 or so. It was an eye-opener but I was a never a dummy about sex after that. I met a lot of dummies about sex in high school, ppl having sex and not even knowing what a STD was. It was crazy.

Christelyn ltd139 I agree with the idea that teaching our daughters about pleasuring themselves could possibly save them from giving their sexuality away to someone who doesn't deserve it. It's understood and accepted that young boys will masturbate and its ok. I think we should empower our young girls sexually and let them know that it's ok and it's natural. I even bought my Mom a vibrator which her generation would never speak about such things and she loves that my friends are so open about it, Not sure if she used it (TMI)! LOL! But she's not a prude and deserves pleasure as well. I say we women need to take charge of it and I agree there's nothing like a real man... but we have something to take the edge off, so to speak.

Christelyn ltd139 That's a good idea, too many blk girls and women are told not to explore their bodies I'm telling you that's how women get all mixed up when it comes to men. You don't know anything about your body, your temple and some dude comes along and runs all and up through the temple, he knows spots you don't know. I'm sorry no man should know more about my body and how it works than me. It's my body and women surrendering their bodies to men who don't care about them is a problem in the black community. I rah-rah my mom all the time b/c she was open about sex, sometimes too open LOL. But I'm glad she was, all these things weren't a mystery to me and as I got older I explored even more made for better sex for me. Women sometimes think all a dude needs to do is stick his penis in them and it's all good, sex is more than that but bw have been so shamed about our bodies and that's a shame.

eugeniamitchellChristelyn ltd139

Eugenia, you said it. This business of Black women and girls having to put up with men who do not care about them has wreaked all kinds of havoc on generations of Black girls who are now emotionally hurt when it comes to sexuality grown Black women. That is such a shame. Sexuality is a beautiful part of the human experience, and there should be nothing ugly about it, but when you have unchecked abuse and neglect, the result is a tragedy and a mess. Black women have the right to rich, fulfilling, happy sex lives like everyone else, period.

Christelyn ltd139 I think it's very important to be open with our daughters. I think it's important to learn the essentals from their mother and learn that boys are out to take advantage of them. Even those who proclaim

ltd139 I actually think we should tell our girls about how important knowing their bodies is before letting someone else dictate what you enjoy. My dauggter knows that self pleasure is something I promote. Like I told her, the more you know about yoour body, the least you.will entrust it to anyone until.you are ready.I told her if i was knowledgeable early, I could have waited forever...with technology of course. She laughed and said I could have been like the chicks on "Virgin Diaries" Lol...yuck. I hear thats gross to watch.

ltd139 I read about a guy who had a French wife and later an American wife when he was widowed young. He said his French wifes mother and grandmother were very open about sex. He said their sex life/intimacy was so much greater for it. On the other hand, his US born wife had many hangups. Body image was a big issue for the US wife... the French one, none.

ltd139 Sounds like a good plan. Some parents would rather keep their heads in the sand. I remember Surgeon General Dr Elder getting fired for suggesting educating teens about masturbation.

OMG, I just watched the vid. There's a sex toy that one can hook up to music and it vibrates to the rhythms! It also works with Skype! Okay, now! "Tech and pleasure come together." I like it.

Karla R U kidding me. You can e-mail the love. I have seen those vibrators that work via remote control so your partner can buzz you from across the room.

Brenda55 There's a great scene in the movie "The Ugly Truth" with a remote and a vibe. The rest of the movie, meh, but that scene is priceless.

http://youtu.be/3Vg28HCW6WY

KarlaBrenda55 That's it. I want one of those lol. So kinky...

KarlaBrenda55 That scene is awesome. I dont know of a man alive who wouldnt get into that, ah, stimulating his woman in a public place like that.