*gets behind a podium*
Blogmistress, moderators, community regulars, lurkers and guests-
The black woman’s womb is a topic that has been made out to be solely and exclusively the concern of everyone but the women who actually have them. It is the stuff of much social and scientific research, including studies showing out of wedlock rates to be between 70 and 80 percent. Whatever the numbers, many agree it is far higher ratio for African American women than pretty much any other group of women in the United States.
Despite the fact that a lack of being married is usually the result of a man not asking, it has been typically expected that the black women bear sole responsibility for having children by men who never had any intention of marrying them. And so black women are expected to accept, without complaint, a series of catch-22s:
– Black women are expected to accept that black men simply do not want to marry them, as other men marry the women within their own ethnic groups.
– Black women are to accept not being uplifted as worthy of wife and motherhood and to bear the sole responsibility for child rearing.
– Black women are expected to be both mothers and fathers to their young. Meanwhile today, black men are freed of the obligation of demonstrating fatherhood by staying in the lives of their children.
– Black daughters are expected to find a substitute for her father anyway she can, even if the methods lead to further harm.
– Black sons, having no example of a father figure will then see no point in doing for their out-of-wedlock sons what their own fathers would not do for them.
Black women are named, shamed and disgraced as single mothers. And yet never a word is spoken as to how they became pregnant in the first place: A black man had sex with them.
It seems that the black man’s part has been reduced to leaving his sperm in a number of women and going his own way. There is no outrage, no demands of responsibility and no obligation to woman and child. Any attempt, any serious claim, made by a woman demanding support for her children is derided.
She is called “weak”, “needy”, “a bitch trying to bring a man down”. She is a failure – she fails to “do her part” in simply keeping the population growing without any care as to the quality of life for her children. We do know that single mothers can, if given the resources, raise children to do great things.
But far too often, black people are a romantic people, who will paint over every rule with the exception.
Black women, you make up the poorest of single parent households. This isn’t about white single mothers. Hispanic single mothers. It’s not even about single fathers. This is about the reality of single black women and their wombs. And it is we, and not they, that have been left with this problem. A problem that no one can or will help us with but ourselves.
The only solution to this problem is to consider a black woman’s womb as only available to men who are marriageable. A quality marriage-oriented man is invested in the wellbeing of his wife and children. Such a man is willing to struggle and sacrifice so that his children’s futures can be as bright as possible. He will go without if it means they have what they need. He will discipline and also encourage. Seeking a man of good character to be the father of your children means taking an active role in what sort of characters are allowed near your womb.
Now, whenever a black woman talks about closing her womb to damaged and unsuited men, people lose their minds. Suddenly, the idea of black women taking such a hardline stance when it comes to their wombs is cause for panic and outrage. How DARE black women move towards such an “outdated” concept! Yes, marriage is an outdated concept for black women! Even as thousands and thousands of gays march in the streets for something that is supposed to mean nothing. These same persons would never fix their mouths to tell these groups that. Certainly because they know there would be scorched Earth where they once stood if they tried.
But black women? People are so used to attempting to manipulate and shame black women out of everything that is best for them, the audacity knows no limits.
A black woman’s womb should be of the highest priority, because if she chooses to procreate, to bring a child into the world, she may elevate or doom several generations after her.
This is what a black woman often does not consider when she lays down with questionable men because usually, no one has informed her of this. Why would they? A black woman who isn’t ignorant of her power in this regard is one less woman that can be accessed.
And that’s what it’s all about in the end: Fear. Fear of a loss. Fear of forced competition. Fear of black women’s self-empowerment.
Black women, the state of our wombs are as sound as we make them. And we make them so by only making them available to the sort of men by whom you would sincerely wish to have children. Otherwise, you are dooming yourself and your children and their children and perhaps their children, to struggle to make it up. Your mistakes in this regard do not end with you. But then, neither do your triumphs.
Choose well, live well and be well.
Thank you and godspeed.