She’s Moving On: Race Woman No More

She’s Moving On: Race Woman No More

“As long as Black women continue to accept their subordinate status in the Black community, Black people will continue their descent into the gutter. Any community that is too foolish to listen to the voices of the women is doomed for failure. I learned the hard way that being a Race Woman has a high price and I cannot afford to do so any longer. No longer will I defend the actions of men who do not give a rat’s ass about women who look like me or my daughters.”

Author : Kathy Henry

Author's Website | Articles from

At one time, not too long ago, I used to be a Race Woman. What is a Race Woman? A Race Woman is a black woman who fights relentlessly for the empowerment and improvement of the Black community even to her own detriment. When I went to college, I majored in sociology and minored in history, two academics that are not profitable but released the Race Woman within. I also took some Women’s Studies courses which introduced me to feminist theory and intersectionality – the ways in which oppressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, etc.) are interconnected and cannot be examined separately from one another.

Feminism fascinated me greatly because I was taught from childhood that a black woman is supposed to suppress her feminist leanings in order to support the Black man because when he comes up, the Black community comes up. If a Black woman is too strong and assertive to some of her people, she is categorized as an “Angry Bitch” who does not know her place. She is not supposed to articulate her thoughts in anyway because her thoughts are not considered important.

Feminism is the dirtiest word in the Black community and is looked upon as that counter-revolutionary, man-hating, lesbian, white bitches’ bullshit. The main argument against feminism in the Black community is that white women did not include black women in the liberation movement and various groups such as NOW have ignored the issues of marginalized, poor women of color and although that argument has some merit, I as a Black woman can no longer turn a blind eye to the massive amount of misogynist thought patterns that exist in the Black community.

Yes, I used to be a Race Woman until I finally opened my eyes and looked around my community. Young thugs on every corner and the grown ass men in the community are too scared or too busy having sex with their mothers and sisters to lift a finger. Young black girls walking around with the eyes of a battered soul, so beaten down by life that they are happy to accept the scraps of affection given to them by anyone, male or female.

I am particularly enraged by the treatment of our young sisters because they are the gateway to the future. Women are the bearers of life and if the garden is not attended to properly, it gets weeds. Young black girls in our current society are considered expendable. Our own men call them hood rats while screwing and impregnating them on a regular basis and our women look at them as a threat because of their young pussies. Black women were quick to defend R. Kelly and Creflo Dollar but will not say a word in defense of the thousands of young Black girls who are molested, beaten and mistreated on a daily basis. They lay up with men they know are beating and sniffing around their daughters, sisters and nieces but turn a blind eye because of their own pathetic need to have a warm body to cuddle up with.

At the beginning of this month, a young Black girl named Jessica Tetter was savagely murdered by her mother’s boyfriend. Her body was found in a dumpster, thrown away like yesterday’s trash with semen found in her vagina and anus. She was sixteen years old and she will never have an opportunity go on prom, graduate from high school and college or become a mommy because of a trifling ass man and her mother’s abject stupidity and desperation. As long as racism is considered the main problem in the Black community instead of sexism, more little Black girls will die. As long as Black women continue to accept their subordinate status in the Black community, Black people will continue their descent into the gutter. Any community that is too foolish to listen to the voices of the women is doomed for failure. I learned the hard way that being a Race Woman has a high price and I cannot afford to do so any longer. No longer will I defend the actions of men who do not give a rat’s ass about women who look like me or my daughters.

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Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

 Kathy Henry 

 

Larry D. Wood, 34, of Dixmoor, killed his daughter after the two had an argument, Cook County prosecutors said.

Wood told police he was high on marijuana and PCP when he beat his 16-year-old daughter, Gloria Wood, in an argument over money, 

 

This is why you vet.

zipporah 1729 pts

 Brenda55  Kathy Henry oh hay-ell--that dammmm PCP was the drug that made Rodney King as strong as two men.....I hate pot too, but it doesn't make you kill someone, or does it. One of my  WM stepgrandsons was killed by a DBR-BM 2 weeks ago...my stepdaughter didn't even know what happened. The BM didn't get his pot, and he didn't know his stepbrother roomate sold it stepdaugher was married twice before, etc.

 

Sometimes 16 yo girls could be a little 'tough' for some parents to deal with--dads just have to go out and cool off

 

oh, there will be NO MARCHING for my stepgrandson--there WOULD if he shot the BM though

Jamila 7253 pts moderator

Kathy Henry

 These stories really hit home for me because for years I lived near Dolton ( I actually graduated from Thornridge High School which is in Dolton, IL); Dixmoor and Calumet City are also nearby. 

MixedUpInVegas 1654 pts

:::WILD applause:::

What is it about the Black community that makes women believe that we must present a monolithic front?  Are we not individuals?  Don't our "gifts," needs and abillities differ?  How is it that pursuing your own goals and path in life is to be traitorous?  America is the land of the individual; be your own person.  If someone disapproves of your choices and your behavior, so what?

 

Don't wait til you are in your dotage to stop caring what others think.  You can do it now!

zipporah 1729 pts

 MixedUpInVegas Especially  when the 'black community' that hasn't changed much in 40 years..remember the businesses in Watts in the 60s; do we still have them? after we set them on fire in 1965? or do the middle easterners and Koreans have them now....sigh...

...we were into this mess in the early 70s; trying to uplift the  BM when HE should have been uplifting US

Bren82 1316 pts

Very good article. Freedom is yours!

LorMarie 1345 pts

Clap!!! Another free black woman!

mdiva2002 250 pts

Great post!  I wonder where I heard this before and then I thought back to a politcal show I watched. 

 

After watching last week episode of Bill Mayer where the panel debated over the Republican's "Trickle-down effect" during the Bush administration and how it failed miserably. The "Trickle-down effect" was suppose to benifit America as a whole in which America supported the upper-class(Tax cuts, bailouts, etc.) and in return the money the upper-class obtained would substantially trickle down to the poor through jobs and various ventures. But in conclusion the only thing that occured was the rich became richer and very few if any middle to lower class individuals benifited from this.

 

Now, what does the paragraph above have anything to do with this talented author's piece, plenty. The black community esp black women support of misogynistic hate filled black men that set out to harm not help black women and their children in a way is similar to America's support of the "Trickle-down effect".  The only one's that benefit from it are the one's that need the least help, upper-class ie. misogynistic hate filled black men while the one's that need the most  protection and help suffer, middle to lower class i.e. black women and their children. If history has taught us anything is it has a way of repeating it self unless we learn from it and prevent it from occurring again. The 'Trickle-down effect' didn't work for America and it certainly won't work for the black community and the women that choose to support their very own version of it.  

Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

 mdiva2002 U.R. correct about the trickle down effect. The rich do get richer.  They also do not have to invest those riches in this country of for the benefit of the poor.

 

The same goes for black woman's blind loyalty to black men and the black community. Putting the solutions to our issues into some else hands is foolish.

 

Black men and the black community have their own agenda. They have repeatedly demonstrated that black women are not a priority.  What makes black women think that in the unlikely event that black men rise to the heights they feel they deserve that they will be taking black women along with them. Too many black men and the black community are not there for us now.

 

If all were well and good between black men and black women why are we seeing some of the filth written about BWE and IRR sites and the women who advocate for same from black men on line?

 

Don't you think that black men would be in our corner when it come to he idea that black women should have the best lives for themselves? 

 

In the end no one is going to advocate the the concerns of black women except black women. Black women should do this ourselves, directly with no middle man to derail us from our goals.

 

FriendsofJay 1847 pts

 Brenda55  mdiva2002 That reminds me of what Ann Landers said so many times in her letter column: "No one can take advantage of you without your permission."   How true that is.

ASwirlGirl 3044 pts

Such a powerful piece . . . . Bravo.

FriendsofJay 1847 pts

The BC seems to be a mass of contradictions, most of them seem masochistic: 1. BW must not date or marry outside of the BC, but BM can date and marry whomever they like.  If a BM sees you with a WM or Hispanic man, or Asian man, he is duty bound to come over to where you are, lecture you, and ridicule you for dating outside your race. 2. BM wouldn't give BW the time of day, but BW must protect and defend BM no matter what they do.  3. If a BM beat you, you are not, under any circumstances, permitted to call for the police. 4. BM are permitted to have several "baby mamas" but that's part of being a BW------to be a harem girl for BM.

 

"My grandmother used to have a saying, which I will paraphrase:  "BM make the balls and BW roll them." Aren't you enablers?  What prevents you from finding a man who loves you regardless of race------loyalty to the BC which has no loyalty to you?  I see lovely BW in my own town who are growing older because they are waiting for their "Black Prince." None of this could possibly exist in the White Community, not because we're so wonderful or moral, but because WW wouldn't put up with this type of behavior from their men.

 

Please tell me why you do.  I really want to know.

ann4950 732 pts

 FriendsofJay

 

My Dear you just answered your owned question.  Most ww are not under the same type of community pressure.  Yes, it can be a bitch. Darn  if you do and darn if you don't. 

I previously wrote about an older relative's somewhat out dated feelings about some w/people. 

But, today a young ww gave me a bit of a hard time (fortunately the second young ww was more reasonable when I told her I had my receipt); so both blk/wht. still have a ways to go in relating to each other.

 

ASwirlGirl 3044 pts

 FriendsofJay If I can weigh in on this, I would venture to say it's race loyalty - and some mistaken idea that to enter an IRR - especially with a WM - is to denounce "what slavery was all about." I kid you not. Just last week I ran into a former classmate of mine, and when we started catching up on what we were doing, I told her I was swirling. Mind you, this classmate - who is gorgeous, BTW - had just told me she was still single (she's been married; her husband has been deceased for more than 10 years) and looking. When I suggested enlarging her options, those were the FIRST two reasons she gave: (1) not wanting to be disloyal., and (2) slavery. SIGH.

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1852 pts

 ASwirlGirl I have a girlfriend in her early 40's who fits this description: Advanced degree, resourceful and drop dead gorgeous...Yet she will not give up this race/loyal/slavery bag. Hopefully one day something will penetrate!

My latest conversation: Wilderness For Survival...

ASwirlGirl 3044 pts

 BlackWomenDeserveBetter When we had this conversation, we were standing by a rack of lotions and body sprays. I used it as an illustration, and asked her why, if she wanted lotion and sprays, would she only shop on ONE rack??? I waved my hand over the entire rack, and said, Why would you do that when you can pick from ALL OF THESE??? She had to admit I was right. She then began to tell me of various instances when WM had hit on her and she rejected them vehemently, or just ignored their overtures. I asked her, Is there anybody living now who was here during slavery times? When she said No, I asked her, Why would you hold something against someone who wasn't even there - and neither were you??? She said, Girl, I feel so dumb now. I told her she wasn't dumb NOW, she was dumb BEFORE. LOL! Thankfully she was very receptive (I think loneliness and little to no prospects had a LOT to do with it). She even THANKED me for challenging her thinking, because she'd been on auto pilot all these years. *Each one reach one*

 

zipporah 1729 pts

 BlackWomenDeserveBetter  ASwirlGirl WOWWW--this is rather sickening--it's not just WM that see this foolishness, but other nonbm; ones who are real businessmen she could grow with--wondering whats wrong with us--tryin' to live out of the late 1960s and getting nowhere with it..What kind of advanced degree does she have? is she just a 'professional student"? I've met plenty of people like that--go to school but cant get beyond that====slavery bag?! welll thats those afrocentric kneegrow men trying to control her.--We haven't had slavery since 1865--and after that, most of us stayed down south or else we would have went west toward CA or WA where it was more suitable for black families--heck even WA had interracial marriages in the 1920s

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1852 pts

 FriendsofJay Hopefully soon your grandmother's words will no longer apply

My latest conversation: Wilderness For Survival...

KTW1 177 pts

 FriendsofJay I think it's simplistic to reduce black men to a bundle of pathologies. Some are controlling and crazy, and others are not. Same deal with white men. And yes, there are white women who tolerate abusive behavior from their white husbands.

FriendsofJay 1847 pts

 KTW1 In truth, I should not have been so all encompassing about BM, but many of the ladies on this blog seem to give me the idea that this stereotype hits home far more often than they would like.  Yes, there are WW who tolerate abusive behavior from their boyfriends and husbands, but the other WW of the community won't stick up for him by saying, "aren't there enough men in prison now?" And the abuser would have few friends among the men in the community.  I guess what I'm really saying is that the BC has created a "moral hazard" for BM, to the degree that no amount of sleazy behavior, raping of young black girls, creating half a dozen "baby mamas," wife beating. etc., will cause condemnation by the BC.  Since the BC gives BM impunity, they have no reason to change their behavior.  Most BW observers I read and talk to on the many IR and BWE blogs believe that it is already too late to rehabilitate the BC.  But I think there is still hope if the BC will develop a set of rules for all its members.  By and large these incidents don't happen as often in the WC because we have rules------and we believe that each punishment, each person sent to jail, is an example of what will happen to anyone who breaks those rules and does wrong.  Personally, I'm for doing away with the BC, the WC and becoming truly one community.   But as long as we hold grudges because of slavery, the quota system, white privilege and set asides for black businesses, that's not going to happen.  I understand loyalty to one's race or community, but only to a certain point.  After that point is reached, going further is self-destructive and creates a community that becomes a pariah to the larger world outside itself.  Many of the women on other blogs believe that only through IR marriage can true equality come into being in this extraordinarily divisive country.  I agree with that.  In this way, we do away with those differences that keep us apart.  But as long as both sides object, we will never be together.

 

End of rant.

KTW1 177 pts

 FriendsofJay Wow! That's a lot of stuff there, and I do understand what you're saying. I don't think that anyone should stay in a toxic or abusive environment out a misplaced sense of loyalty, but I also don't think that the 'black community' is a monolithic entity. I consider the readership of BWE/IR blogs to be a 'black community' of sorts (with the exception of a handful of men, most of the readers of this blog are black women). 

FriendsofJay 1847 pts

 KTW1 You're right about these blogs being a Black Community of sorts.  The ladies here and on other blogs have been kind enough to let me share my opinions with them.

simpleebisou 127 pts

There is a AAF solution to Feminism:  Womanism (Rightly named so, check out Sisters in the Wilderness), but that's a  whole other issue.

 

I googled Jessica Teter and other than the link provided in this article I can't find one thing about her.  And I'm a A at researching.  That ish just bugs me to death that there is no press or media focus on young black girls or girls of color in general when something like this happens.  This was someone's child (even though her mother didn't give a damn) she mattered!!

Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

 Karla  simpleebisou Karla I am glad that you posted those links. There isn't a thing that is going on in the black community that does not get broadcast world wide.  So telling black women bloggers to pipe down about the ills plaguing the black community is ridiculous. 

 

There is no keeping "within the family" any longer. I for one an happy about that. Black women should be offered a choice.  Sites like this offers one of many. 

Morenika 840 pts

 Brenda55 Yes Karla,  Thank you....  This is soo terribly sad...  I pray for the mother of this child...  

Karla 18240 pts

 Brenda55  Yes, that ship has sailed regarding the airing of the BC's "dirty linen".  You'd think they'd get it at this point but look with whom we're dealing.

BlackWomenDeserveBetter 1852 pts

 Brenda55 More Black women are breaking the silence...That's a wonderful thing...But how many more must be hurt/maimed/killed before something is done?

My latest conversation: Wilderness For Survival...

socialitedreams 154 pts

 Karla what's so crazy is that I went to high school with that monster who killed her :(  we had classes together, he always seemed off.

Lady M 160 pts

 socialitedreams Whoaaaaa.

tonyrog 119 pts

 Karla  simpleebisou In my area of No Ca it's the same. It just shows on the local news or papers.

Escapedthefoolishness 269 pts

Thank you! More women need to read this. It's true that feminism initially ignored white privilege but anyone who reads feminist literature will know that this has been heavily challenged by black feminists ('white women listen!' by Hazel Carby is a good place to start as is 'all of the women are white, all of the men are black but some of us are brave' (I think that's what it's called -it's on my shelf but too lazy to look!) by Gloria Hall et al). You can be a black and a feminist, something that I find a lot of black women find it hard to comprehend. Feminism doesn't belong to white women. And poor Jessica Tetter. I actually felt ill reading about her death, Reminds me of the ten year old in Jamaica who was impregnated by her mother's boyfriend - the mother blamed the girl because apparently she was 'trying to steal' the pedophile oops mother's boyfriend.

 

Completely off topic but just saw the ridiculous counter piece to Christelyn's earlier piece on illegitimate children in Clutch magazine by Stacie Brown (I think). It's linked to the blog so I'm glad comments have been disabled on that piece. I know differing opinions are welcome here but the last thing we need is Clutch Magazine trolls.

Christelyn 8885 pts moderator

 Escapedthefoolishness Just read it. Notice how she STILL doesn't address the actual issue, but continued to DEFLECT? SMH

Escapedthefoolishness 269 pts

 Christelyn  I'm shocked they didn't consult you to tell you that someone would be writing something like this, considering you write for them as well! Yep, she just completely ignores the issue in favour of accusing the piece of 'strange race baiting' and 'good white man glorifying' and complaining that the word 'illegitimate' is damaging! No talk at all about the impact of fatherlessness on the kids and no encouraging black men to actually be fathers to their children. The comments don't seem to support her so far anyway.

Christelyn 8885 pts moderator

 Escapedthefoolishness I actually write for Madame Noire occasionally...but I can understand how you could get them confused. ;-)

Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

Read your response over at that other joint. Good for you. 

Christelyn 8885 pts moderator

 Brenda55 Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I'm so sick of people questioning my motives. I've been here for THREE years saying the same thing!

Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

 Christelyn  

So don't babe, don't.  It is a waste of your  time and energy.  It deflect you from  doing what you do for black women and girls. 

 

Like it or not you are now in the public eye and much like any other person in that position the mud is going to fly your way.

 

Sure its freedom of speech and  a differing opinion and all but it is also desperate need to drive eyeballs to sites.

 

That is the game. 

 

 I look at someone like Michelle Obama and the horrendous things that were and continue to be said about her.

 

 She keeps it moving. 

Avoc42883 1227 pts

 Christelyn also notice how comments are closed on the post about dating a white man?  the agenda on the site is so  glaring I think i'm losing my eyesight.

Jamila 7253 pts moderator

 Avoc42883  Christelyn  I was wondering why there were no comments on that piece. 

gagagirl 343 pts

 Jamila  Avoc42883  Christelyn   me to. Then I remembered the post they had about the infighting they keep having every  time that topic is discussed. 

The Silent One 190 pts

 Avoc42883 Jamila Christelyn    The comments were closed after someone made a comment about the article being the stupidest thing they had ever read.

Christelyn 8885 pts moderator

 LADreaming86  Avoc42883  Jamila What's heartening to me is that the overwhelming majority of commenters seem to "get it." The stink of the dysfunction is too overwhelming to ignore anymore, and folks are tired of the excuses. At some point, you have to acknowledge that the house is burning down.

Avoc42883 1227 pts

 LADreaming86  Jamila  Christelyn ha!  do a search on Kim Kardashian on clutch and see the sheer volume of articles that pop up.  These women give their tacit consent to black men's IRR all the while clawing each others eyes out if someone suggests they open their options up.

tonyrog 119 pts

 Rosie S  Avoc42883  LADreaming86  Jamila  Christelyn  Went on Youtube and saw this video by a preety young,educated BW saying"Black women: Asian and white men are not attracted to you".In essence she said save yourself for a good black man. The comment section was hilarious.

Brenda55 19609 pts moderator

 Escapedthefoolishness This is the same woman who wrote this article.

"Is Olivia Pope the New Sally Hemings?"

 

So consider the source.