Being A Straight White Guy: An Article Review AND I Confess My Love For Ameenah Kaplan

Being A Straight White Guy: An Article Review AND I Confess My Love For Ameenah Kaplan

Yup. It’s true. It’s just easier to be a straight white male than it is to be any other combination of sexual orientation, race, or gender.

Author : YoungTeach

Author's Website | Articles from

I stumbled upon an article the other day.  This stumble must have been some sort of divine providence, because I have no idea how I got there and I can’t even begin to remember.  The important thing to note is that this article is about being a straight white guy from the perspective of a straight white guy who is, in no sense of the word, deluded about what it is to be a straight white guy.  What is it? It’s easier.  Plainly and simply, it’s just easier to be a straight white guy than it is to be any other sexual orientation, race, gender or any combination thereof.

The author is a man named John Scalzi, and he has his own blog entitled Whatever.  He’s a fantastic writer, and a great humorist, as well.  How could you not like a guy who says things like, (in reference to guys who are macho-douchebag-alpha-males) “By all indications their definition [of a 'beta male'] is something along the lines of ‘a man who sees women as something other than a mute dispensary of sandwiches and boobies…’”  That. Is. Classic.

You can read the article here and I suggest you do so, regardless of your sexual preference, race, or gender: http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/05/15/straight-white-male-the-lowest-difficulty-setting-there-is/

NerdSpeak

The article is an attempt to get us straight white guys to understand that we are privileged in that our skin color, sexual orientation, and gender are less of a barrier to advancement in our jobs, social lives, and everywhere else than those who are not straight, white and male.  What’s probably the best vantage point to explain this to white guys?  Video games.

Yes, video games.  The author, John Scalzi who is a New York Times bestselling author, is also obviously a genius.  Now, not EVERY white guy is going to understand video game-speak, but the majority of us will.  Mr. Scalzi understands that it’s somewhat of a common factor among younger, straight white guys.  Perhaps because we’re privileged enough to all have the money and time to play them.  The point could be argued.

Anyway, the title of the article is, “Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is.”  An apt name, and Mr. Scalzi lays out exactly how being a straight white male is just easier, in terms of the difficulty settings that video games operate on.

What If I Don’t Play Video Games?

Well then firstly, congratulations.  You are probably much more productive than the rest of us.  Secondly, no problem.  Just know that video games have difficulty settings that determine how difficult it is to play the game.  If you choose the Easy difficulty setting on a game, then tasks will be easier to complete, money easier to acquire, characters in the game will more than likely be apt to help you; whereas, all of these things would be much more difficult if you were to choose the Hard difficulty setting – or, as John Scalzi states in the article, the Hardcore setting, if you’re a Gay Minority Female.

I won’t get into the details of the article, because you should read it for yourself.  I will, however, put forth my personal viewpoint.

Brace Yourselves, Fellow White People

Yup.  It’s true.  It’s just easier to be a straight white male than it is to be any other combination of sexual orientation, race, or gender.  Economically, we get better jobs and make more money.  Sociologically, there are less of us in jail.  Educationally, there are more of us in college.  Racially, we are less likely to be profiled by just about everybody.  Socially, we move through the ranks with more ease.

Now, am I upset at the realization that I’ve had it easier?  Definitely not.  I AM however, upset about three things:

  1. It’s probably made me more soft than I’d like to admit.
  2. Other people aren’t afforded the same opportunities that I am.
  3. I’ve taken my opportunities for granted for a very long time.

Maybe, if I had more hardship growing up, I would have more common sense (I’m a bit lacking in that department).  Maybe, if I had more barriers to overcome, I would be more organized and hard-working.  Maybe, if I were made to suffer, my successes would have more meaning and I wouldn’t take so much for granted.  Or, maybe I would have just given up.  Who knows?

I know a lot of white people.  Many of them do not take their stations in life for granted, and appreciate what they have.  Many of them are interested in helping those who might not have it so easy.  And there are many who are oblivious to the fact that they’ve had it easier.

Some might be upset with me and think, “well I grew up just as poor as many of the minorities around me.”  That may well be true.  I would say to them, “you may have started off at the same level of poverty, but your difficulty setting is lower and so it’s much easier for you to get a job and change your station.”

Case-In-Point

I feel like there are a bazillion cases of this “white privilege” that could be examined, not only in viewing the ease with which straight white males move through the various realms of society and careers, but the higher degree of difficulty with which minorities deal with daily.  I would use a really stereotypical example, but that just wouldn’t be me.

Take Ameenah Kaplan.  Ameenah Kaplan is a mildly successful actress, dancer, choreographer, and drummer/percussionist/musician.  She plays the character “Val” on seven episodes of The Office (American version).  She’s black, her sexual orientation is unbeknownst to me (although I sincerely hope that she’s straight.  I’ve got a serious crush.), and obviously she is female.

Ameenah Kaplan

I found out about her when I saw an episode of The Office that she was in.  I immediately went to IMDB and looked up her profile.  You can find it here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0438188/

I was stunned to find out that she’s been in STOMP!, The Office, directed a Rap Opera about homosexuality, and been in numerous tv shows and movies.  I had never heard of her!

I then thought, why is this woman not a headlining star?  She’s BEAUTIFUL.  She’s been in everything.  She’s (at the very least) a quadruple threat.  And she’s black.

Oh yeah…she’s black.  Upon this realization, I got pretty frustrated that people would discriminate against my future wife.  She’s put in what is possibly more work than 99% of Hollywood stars, and yet gets about 1% of the recognition.  How is that fair?  It’s just not.  I cannot imagine the amount of work that she’s put into her career to gain the modicum of success that she has.  I also cannot imagine the amount of success she would have if she were a straight white guy.  She seems like a very kindhearted individual, and I hope that her station in life does not frustrate her.

She seems like the type of person that said to herself at a young age, “I know that people are discriminating against me because I’m a minority and a woman.  I refuse to let that stop me from achieving any of the dreams that I have for my life.”  She most certainly has been a busy person, claiming victories in her career.

Summation Time

In summary, straight white guys DO have it easier.  Please don’t hate us for this, because we did not choose our skin color, gender, or (debatably) our sexual orientation.  Unless one of us is disrespectful toward you based on your skin color, gender, or sexual orientation.  In that case, feel free to write them off.

You might be upset because of the straight white male’s privileged history, in relation to the lack of privilege in others’ history.  I cannot control the actions of my ancestors any more than any of us can.  All I can do is to learn about all people and try to make the future a better one.

Also, if you know Ameenah Kaplan, tell her that I’m in love with her and will move to wherever she lives, and marry her and massage her feet whenever she wants.  For now I’ll just have to be content to continue watching the videos of her playing percussion, with great skill and beauty, on her YouTube channel, which you can find here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ayottegirl74?feature=watch

- Teach

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I really respect the fact that you voiced your opinoins and ideas and did so in such a respectful manner. Nowadays so many people say so many rude and jurtful things especially related to race and hide behind their computers. It was also lovely to see the positive things you had to say about black women because we don't hear them often (at least I don't).

Awareness of white privilege can be both good and bad.

 

The good is that it improves white men's understanding of the perspective of non-WM.  This understanding is important to living and working peacefully with others.  Countless times I've cringed at ignorant comments from my fellow co-workers to a minority that leaves that person in a rage and the WM completely clueless as to why the other person is upset.  Men who understand the privilege know where the other person is coming from and that the way to disarm the inherent resentment of that privilege it is to make sure you are respectful in your interactions to avoid conflict.

 

However, there is also a reaction to this from some WM (read: liberal), to feel guilty about it and start apologizing for being white as if they had any control over it (the author says "don't hate us for this"  What?).  Sometimes they feel that only they (the sensitive man) can see it and it's their responsibility to right the wrongs.  They may even date BW and overly pedestalize them and treat them like a queen in some awkward attempt at making up for it. 

 

The problem is most BW I know don't want white men coming at them from this angle.  No one wants to be treated like a pity project or community service or even worse, a new species to learn about and be in awe over.  BW just want to be treated like any other woman.  If you start making her race an issue or walking on eggshells around her trying to be overly respectful, she's going to pick up on it immediately and move on to someone who doesn't have this kind of hang-up.

 

This confession of love by the author to a complete stranger has this vibe and I'm gonna go ahead and guess he gets friendzoned. 

 

In b4 whiteknight defender calls me a macho alpha douchebag.  LOL

 

youngteach 230 pts

I have to say, I'd be pretty happy if I even got friendzoned by Ameenah Kaplan.  Go me, for even getting the attention of someone like her. 

 

Also, coming from a white guy new to the scene, I'm pretty okay with treating a black woman like a queen because I have no desire to "make up" for anything.  I never apologized for anything in my article because there's nothing to apologize for.

 

The main reason that I have no problem with treating a black woman like a queen, however, is that I feel more reverence toward them than to women of other races.  That might not go over well, seeing what I have from other people's comments in other posts, but I'm talking about me and my preferences - no one else's.  All women should be treated like queens (if they are deserving), and so I'm all about treating a black woman like any other woman - a queen.  I just hope I'm man enough.

 

- Beta Male

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@youngteach perfect, like this b/c yes you're trying to get into a relationship w/ your 'queen' b/c you love her not b/c you love all blk ppl. I always wonder why the the notion is that ppl in IRRs talk about race a lot. My relationship w/ hubby is not here to solve the world racial problems. We're just 2 ppl that fell in love. Yes he's white & I'm black but that's not our only identity. If you meet a wm who's apologizing for slavery & trying to get a date I'd avoid him he's got other problem. But most bw/wm in IRs just do what everybody else does, which is live and try to enjoy our love.

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

I must admit that I don't know any of these "liberal," "sensitive" men who place black women on a pedestal in an effort to make up for the wrongs they feel guilty about. The men I know who fall into the "liberal" and "conservative" category who treat their wives like queens do so because they 1) realize what an amazing gift they've been given and 2) can't, for the life of them, figure out what she sees in them. (Their words, not mine.)

 

Like others have pointed out, I don't think they sought to settle accounts for all wrongs committed by one group toward another. They saw a woman, thought she was beautiful/talented/graceful/whatever and the chase was on. I personally think that the guys I have in mind would treat their wives the same, regardless of race. It's just who they are.

 

P.S. - what's with the "whiteknight defender" comment?

Brenda55 19278 pts moderator

 WorldTravelingChic 

 

The " whiteknight defender" is troll speak used by the GAT-DL (guardians of all things dark and lovely) 

See it works this way. According to the GAT-DL playbook black women who like white men are whitewashed and will do all that they can to preserve, protect and defend all white men at the expense of black men.  So say they. 

 

The reality of the situations is that black women are individuals and like what and who they like and it is really not anyone's business to dictate this for her.  However the GAT-DL (guardians of all things dark and lovely) can't let black women think for them selves, make up their own mind about how they want to live.  That is a threat to them and their gravy-train so they show up on sites like these to name call, guilt and attempt to derail our conversations. 

 

Hope that explanation helps.

 

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

 Brenda55 Thanks for the explanation. I guessed that it had something to do with that, but the comment still strikes me as a strange ending to the post. If I substitute your definition, it reads "In b4 the 'black women who like white men who will do anything to preserve, protect and defend all white men at the expense of black men' call me a macho alpha douchebag." It negates anything intelligible MR said in the post. Call me silly, but I'd think if you were going to troll this site, you'd be less blatant about it.

 

I have to admit that I'm amazed at the arguments presented by these so-called GAT-DL. I grew up as a first-generation American in a multicultural home and neighborhood, so this stuff is new to me.

iHeartLove 804 pts

Ameenah Kaplan isn't a 'complete stranger' he saw on the subway. She's an actress on TV. youngteach's gushing over Ameenah sounds like the normal gushing any regular Joe or Jane would have over his/her latest celebrity crush. Sometimes we racialize things that are not racial. BW have got to let go of the never-ending suspicion. 

Brenda55 19278 pts moderator

"They may even date and overly pedestalize then and treat them like a queen in some awkward at making up for it."

 

Soooooooooo Black women do not deserve to be put on a pedestal by the men who love them?

Black women do not deserve to be treated like a queen by the man who wants to treat her this way?

 

 

What kind of ucked up stuff are you posting on this site?

 

Oh wait there is more.

 

"The problem is most BW I know don't want white men coming at them from this angle."   

 

Most BW that you know.  OOOOkay    Let me guess these are the NBABM brigade. Part of the white guys have to meet higher dating standard  than what black women set for black men crew.

Has it ever occurred to you that they are telling you that because that is what you expect to hear and they don't want to hurt you fragile ego? 

 

This one is good.

 

"No one wants to be treated like a pity project or community service or even worse or a new species to learn about and be in awe over."

 

 

OK.  I have to say that is has been a long time since I have seen such backward assed  foolishness posted on this site. It is not passing the smell test MR  and neither are you.  But my guess is that you are new to the party in these parts so I am going to help you out.  We advise black women to VET. That is you check out the men that you are dating for values, intent, character as well as compatibility, morally,socially, financially and intellectually. That way you uncover a man's motivation for dating you. So we have this covered as we on this site and sites like this one teach black women to look out for men and women, of all races who mean them no darn good.

 

A person like your self would fall into the category of the type of person black women need to vet. You  MR coming here with all of your pretend concern. Attempting to tell black women that they do not deserve to be put on a pedestal by their man when it is really none of your darn business what that a couple is doing.

 

"Oh no don't treat black women like queens they don't deserve it"   MR why are you inserting yourself in this conversation?  It is not about you. This white man and the women who are talking to him are not concerned about you. You can't really think that your opinion matters. Go play with your NBABM crew.

 

You come here throwing insults at the author for his professed attraction to a black women and questioning his motivations. You come here throwing insults at black women attempting to smear  mud on our self esteem.  You and men like you are toxic which is why we don't want you. Now go somewhere and butt out of grown folks conversations.

 

 

 

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@Brenda55 boy I guess somebody got told, that was great made my day. I swear these trolls are getting sneakier and shadier everyday.

Brice Cameron 2063 pts

MR,

 

Don't worry.  No one is going to call you macho or alpha.

Maxine 1005 pts

Youngteach, a little something to brighten your day...Ameenah likes dudes.  Dudes of all races and religions:  http://www.jewishjournal.com/my_single_peeps/article/my_single_peeps_ameenah_k_20110322

KingsDaughter 4584 pts

 Maxine 

"She likes her men confident, and she doesn’t discriminate against race, creed, color or religion. But she does discriminate against stupid." LOLOL, I like this lady!!

youngteach 230 pts

 KingsDaughter  Maxine

This was posted in 2011, and so she's probably dating someone by now.  My hopes are high though, that someone will direct her to this story, she'll fall in love with my writing, contact me and we'll fall in love.  Is that weird?

 

Or I could man up and send an e-mail to the author of the post. 

 

Thanks, Maxine!

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

 youngteach  Nothing ventured, nothing gained! :D

 

 

EarthJeff 3239 pts

 Maxine "Youngteach, a little something to brighten your day...Ameenah likes dudes.  Dudes of all races and religions: "

Dang, just reading that gives me chills.... The part that he forgot - Sorry Youngteach - is that I am SURE she prefers OLDER men (OLDTeach kind of folks) and SCIENCE teachers...

Brenda55 19278 pts moderator

 EarthJeff  Maxine 

 

Hey greedy.  Back off.  You got your chocolate delight. One to a customer.

We are gonna get Youngteach situated pronto.. 

 

Youngteach.  Handle yours. 

youngteach 230 pts

 Brenda55  EarthJeff  Maxine

Yeah, greedy!  Haha, this comment thread made me laugh. 

 

Thanks for the support, Brenda.  I handle mine!

EarthJeff 3239 pts

 Brenda55  Maxine "Hey greedy.  Back off.  You got your chocolate delight. One to a customer."

Hey, it is human nature to be greedy.  But... OK......  Geez.....  Thank you, Maam, may I have another?

Or, as Bee would say (and this is one of those interpersonal jokes that can be taken wrong with no context so please dont anyone think I am implying black women are violent or anything - or even that Bee is - or that she wears the pants in our relationship even though she kind of does)... anyway, as she would say... "Thats enough out of you, dont make me go get my belt"... a phrase that does indeed straighten me up.... ;)

Brenda55 19278 pts moderator

 EarthJeff  Maxine 

 

"(and this is one of those interpersonal jokes that can be taken wrong with no context so please dont anyone think I am implying black women are violent or anything - or even that Bee is - or that she wears the pants in our relationship even though she kind of does).

 

 

Hey I get you man. You two play like Keith and I do. I was going to say don't make girlfriend have to take her earrings off and reach for that can.

 

 Kind of a shame that you had to put that disclaimer in but we know how it is.  We will get there some day.

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

Great post. I’d never heard about this idea of “white privilege” before it came up in an undergraduate cross-cultural journalism class that I was a teacher’s assistant for last year. The professor I worked with warned us (her group of TAs) that there would be some level of backlash. I thought she was overreacting. Boy, was I wrong.

 

The lecture centered around three readings, one of which was “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” by Peggy McIntosh. (1988) I think the premise is similar to the Scalzi post. I won’t go into my thoughts on McIntosh’s framework or the way she builds her argument, but I will mention that the list of 50 items she gave as examples of the daily effects of white privilege were eye-opening and thought-provoking.

 

Let’s just say that many of the students didn’t see it that way. Many had a huge problem with the readings and the lecture. Although the professor sought to encourage the 250+ sophomores and juniors to think beyond the filters of their own experiences and stereotypes when reporting cross-culturally, many saw it as personal attack. They literally could not see how the “other side” lived. Quite a few argued with the professor and refused to acknowledge that this “myth of white privilege” even existed. Several wanted to know why the privilege they were born into was their fault and why they were expected to do anything about it. Unfortunately, the perspective of the handful of minorities in the lecture hall were drowned out.

 

It was sad, to say the least. So many of them missed the point. It’s cool to read that youngteach 

didn’t. Since it seems that others (like Scalzi) are talking about it, I’m hopeful that some of my students will be forced to revisit the topic sometime in the future. I love that youngteach doesn’t apologize for having it easier – I don’t apologize for the opportunities I’ve been afforded either. That's not the point. To me, the point is acknowledging that the differences exist, understanding how that affects our society and seeking to change what’s not right about it. It's applicable regardless of whether we're talking about the privilege of race, class, gender or sexual orientation.

 

Link to an excerpt of McIntosh's study, for those who are interested: http://www.amptoons.com/blog/files/mcintosh.html

Joyce345 1738 pts

 WorldTravelingChic  youngteach 

 

There is usually little benefit in trying to 'educate' privileged people. Some people get it and some people don't. Or rather some people want to get it and others don't want to get it.

 

First there is denial and defensiveness and then there is an assumption that you are demanding something from them.

'SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?' When nothing has been asked.

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@Joyce345 @WorldTravelingChic @youngteach many ppl don't like like acknowledge their 'privilege' many ppl benefit privilege in different ways. But 'white male privilege' is the best on e though. I know I benefit from different types of privilege and I'm not gonna lie although I can acknowledge it, I'm not trying to give it up.

youngteach 230 pts

 eugeniaberg   Joyce345  WorldTravelingChic  youngteach

 "I don’t apologize for the opportunities I’ve been afforded either. That's not the point. To me, the point is acknowledging that the differences exist, understanding how that affects our society and seeking to change what’s not right about it."

 

Most definitely the point!  There seems to be a lot of confusion about what to "do," about this topic.  This, above, is exactly what to do.

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@youngteach @Joyce345 @WorldTravelingChic the hope is that in different ways ppl enjoy the privilege I enjoy. marriage for instance, I get lots of privilege being married. I fully acknowledge it, will single ppl enjoy the privileges, no not till they are married. That's just kind of how it is but when same sex marriage came up in my state in recent election, I voted for it. Because I believe same sex should enjoy the privileges I enjoy. Do they get them all, not yet. Will I be pushing for them to get them when I get the opportunity, yes.

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

 Joyce345  youngteach 

"There is usually little benefit in trying to 'educate' privileged people. Some people get it and some people don't. Or rather some people want to get it and others don't want to get it."

 

Agreed. My hope is that the few who are open to getting it can approach the world (and their role in society) with a little more depth of understanding.

EarthJeff 3239 pts

 WorldTravelingChic  Joyce345  youngteach "Agreed. My hope is that the few who are open to getting it can approach the world (and their role in society) with a little more depth of understanding."

It is interesting that you say this.  I know that I love to have very open and frank discussions with my students on race and racial issue.  As a white man, at first they are often surprised that I am willing to talk about these things with them and also surprised that I want their take on things.  I have not yet - knock on wood - been burned with some parent complaint and I dread the day that I am.  I am also very into showing them interracial relationships as normal.  My screen saver is a wonderful pic of a white man and a black woman kissing.  Since I have pics of my kids AND Bee's kids hanging by my desk, nearly every day someone asks who they are and I say "my girlfriend's kids" to prompt the "your girlfriend is black" and my nonchalant shrug of my shoulders and say "Yeah, why not?".  The more routine and "normal" we show IRRs to be, the more routinely they will become accepted.

WorldTravelingChic 601 pts

 EarthJeff  Love that you're having these conversations with your students and hope that the day of complaints from parents never comes.  I think the best place for open and frank discussions about race and racial issues is in small groups where people aren't afraid to share their point of view and there's someone present that everyone respects as a moderator of sorts. Our university lecture hall didn't fit the bill but it sounds like your classroom is another story. It's great that you're able to breach these topics with your students and challenge their notions of what's considered to be "normal."

EarthJeff 3239 pts

 WorldTravelingChic "I think the best place for open and frank discussions about race and racial issues is in small groups where people aren't afraid to share their point of view and there's someone present that everyone respects as a moderator of sorts. "

Agreed.  One on one and suddenly there is a cautiousness to filter what one says, or things are taken with  suspicion as to whether the comment was subtle racism, etc.  Most black teenagers have never discussed some of these things openly and certainly never with a white person.   Also, especially in Swirling Unfriendly Detroit, the idea of an interracial couple really tends to blow their minds.  Truly.  Not that they are for it, against it, or whatever... just never occurred to them so to see a couple is very surprising.  They like to ask me things about my relationship and I share... most things....  overall most of them end up thinking it is cool.  I can see where the intimacy of a small classroom works for this where a university lecture hall would not get the same results.

heyimPearlilikefries 2091 pts

Thank you for being honest. AND Admitting. LOL

 

I seen Ameenah Kaplan on 'The Office' too! (I LOVE that show!)

 

If she's done all of this.. maybe she doesn't want to be in the public eye and only likes small roles and behind-the-scene work. It's possible. 

a_maria 7 pts

Youngteach, I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and I'm really loving your perspective on things!

 

I've never heard of Ameenah Kaplan before, but she's clearly a talent! I'm confused why you're hinting at her being gay though, because I haven't picked up anything like that. Just curious where this idea of her being gay/possibly gay is coming from.

youngteach 230 pts

 a_maria

 Firstly, thank you for reading!  I'm always happy when I hear that people are reading my little ol' blog.  Secondly, it's just a guess, really.  She directed a rap opera about homosexuality (definitely not an indicator, though having your name tied to a project like that is worth considering), and I've seen absolutely nothing online about her relationships, past or present.  Again, this means absolutely nothing. 

 

I don't know, I guess it's just a feeling.  I realize this is probably terrible of me, to ascribe a sexuality to someone who I do not know personally, based on arbitrary characteristics that I see as indicative.  Maybe because I'm worried she might be, and then I can never meet her and sweep her off her feet? 

 

I've made a fool out of myself.  I will delete my arbitrary statements regarding her sexuality, immediately.  Thank you for pointing out my idiocy.

DeeNCee76 16 pts

I'm glad that more Straight White Males admit their privileged status. I find that those who would "dare" to speak on it in front of minorities tend to be the least bigoted group, in general. I do get upset when minorities jump on Straight White Men and shred them to pieces for something they can no more control than the wind. You GOTTA take people on an individual basis and give them an opportunity to show you who they are. If they're racist jerk-faces...THEN you can hate them...lol...but not BEFORE you know...otherwise, you're prejudiced, as well. Alrighty, enough of my personal soapbox. GOOD ARTICLE...both of 'em. :-)

Elegance 2096 pts

Nice post. This is my opinion, it's not everyone's, I don't want to argue, it is not a condemnation of the post writer (at all). I don't blame him for writing it because so many people are pushing White people to think this way. I wrote about this on my blog a while ago from the point of view where I don't understand the importance of pointing out privilege to people. Maybe it's a U.S. thing or something done when people feel they have been wronged or given fewer opportunities. I don't feel that way but I also live in Canada and have Caribbean parents. 

1) As usual, in the original Sclazi article, he doesn't specify what to do with that knowledge and others like myself have a problem with that. I no longer value knowing many things for the sake of knowing unless I can do something with that information since there are more important things I need to learn. I'm more practical and just want to know what is useful.

It's like if you told me I had a gene that makes everything easier for me than for everyone else would that even change my behaviour? No, I would go on my merry way so I really didn't need to know. Unless straight, White males are expected to act differently after recognizing their privilege then it's useless information.  I think people usually say "examine your privilege" when they want something whether it is a handup, handout, or to be excused for their bad behaviour. Usually these posts end with the call to "do something" to even the playing field (i.e., handout or handup). That's what gets people leery, that they are being pressured to give to others just because they were born White males. They think that is unfair.

 

2) I don't like it when Black people constantly point out that being Black is difficult so I definitely don't want White people doing the same thing. Why? Since this is based on race, it makes ALL Black people sound like disadvantaged, burdened, suffering, victims who need to be saved by those with privilege i.e., White men. So many Black people complain that they don't need to be saved (e.g., remember how annoyed people were with Dangerous Minds and Finding Forrester?) and can do it themselves with hard work. I don't want anyone to think that I am burdened or suffering when there are others, of whatever race, living on the street, dying or diseases or in other ways suffering way more than me. I am not a charity case or disabled just because I'm Black. I don't want people to automatically pity me and think I'm incapable of doing what non-Black people can. In the past people thought Black people could not do things due to genetics but talented and hardworking people proved them wrong! Don't tell me people are trying to do the same thing by saying we can't do things because of racism or simply growing up Black!

 

3) Hearing everyone say that life is harder for me because I'm Black makes me feel hopeless and I shouldn't even bother trying to have a good life. It makes me fear that all my work is for nothing because I will only get so far. I will of course keep going but I think this thinking keeps many Black people from trying at all. If you tell me that the White, drug addicted, prostitute has life easier than me and people will regard her more highly than me because I'm Black why even bother? It goes against the reality of how I've seen people treated. So as other commenters on the Sclazi article mentioned, I think class and wealth has a major role in who is privileged. I am not a disadvantaged victim because I'm Black. 

 

I want to be treated like everyone else not like I'm beneath them in terms of capabilities. That would be condescending and racist right?

Elegance 2096 pts

I forgot, if the purpose is so that White men vote for, support, and accept social programs and Affirmative Action then it makes sense and it is useful to point out their privilege. Otherwise I don't see the point. This agenda should not be hidden though.

Christelyn 8688 pts moderator

 Elegance "Hearing everyone say that life is harder for me because I'm Black makes me feel hopeless and I shouldn't even bother trying to have a good life. It makes me fear that all my work is for nothing because I will only get so far. I will of course keep going but I think this thinking keeps many Black people from trying at all."

 

THIS.

youngteach 230 pts

 Elegance

 Good points, all around.  I'll point out a few things, but I have no intention of arguing because I think you present a great deal intellect in your observations.

 

"Unless straight, White males are expected to act differently after recognizing their privilege then it's useless information."

 

Agreed.  I don't think it needs to be the "call to action" that you vilify, but for me it has caused a change in my behavior and DEFINITELY in my thought process. 

 

"If you tell me that the White, drug addicted, prostitute has life easier than me and people will regard her more highly than me because I'm Black why even bother?"

 

I see your thought process in this.  In his article, however, Scalzi makes mention of the apportioning of stat points.  He says that, "Likewise, it’s certainly possible someone playing at a higher difficulty setting is progressing more quickly than you are, because they had more points initially given to them by the computer and/or their highest stats are wealth, intelligence and constitution and/or simply because they play the game better than you do. It doesn’t change the fact you [straight, white male] are still playing on the lowest difficulty setting."

 

This alludes to your idea that the white crack-head prostitute could have an easier life than you, so why try.  The point is that this crack-head chose how to allocate her stat points and what path to take in her adventure (video game).  Obviously, you play the game better than she does and so you therefore are doing much better. 

 

The other point that you made, along the same lines was, "I think class and wealth has a major role in who is privileged.  I am not a disadvantaged victim because I'm Black." 

 

Scalzi allows for the idea that class and wealth could play a role, in the same way that he allows for open-ended adventure (life) circumstances.  Stat points.  You're given a certain number of stat points.  Some stat points are already allocated to you.  If your parents are wealthy, no matter your race, then you have a higher wealth by default.  The case that he is making is, being straight, white, and male allows for you to gain stat points more easily as you progress in your adventure.  It allows you to gain access to more parts of the map than the majority of other races, genders, and sexual orientations.  People are likely to help you more.  The crack-head prostitute is not a good example here, because she chose her adventure and how to allocate her stat points, poorly. 

 

Either way, you make a good point.  I hope that you're not reading from a disparagingly subjective point of view.  It's just good to get conversation generating on these types of things.  Thank you.

Elegance 2096 pts

 youngteach Ok, I think I didn't understand the stat points part and I feel that the stat items account for way more than race. Anything that creates a blanket statement that ALL Black people are disadvantaged or ALL Black people don't need help will end up hurting someone. I'm one of those who actually thinks it's more about class and wealth than race. 

 

I also see the drug addicted prostitute as a victim. She may have been abused, had to leave home, and could only make money as a prostitute.  If a White person gets into trouble there are circumstances and personal choices involved, the same as with Black people. But often with Black people personal responsibility is downplayed and that isn't fair or helpful to them. 

 

Nope I'll keep doing things the way I normally do and strive for the best, but for me, reading anything that saying I'm disadvantaged isn't good for my self-esteem. It's like pointing out someone's flaws (that might not even be real) when they were feeling great if you can understand.  It makes me think, Black people are sometimes told about obstacles so that they don't get their hopes up and end up being disappointed. The other alternative is to tell them they can achieve anything if they try and only deal with disappointments if they come. I think people would be more productive and put in more effort if they had hope and believed they could do anything, that's more optimistic yet unrealistic. Being optimistic and unrealistic about your talents may make things easier for the person.

youngteach 230 pts

 Elegance

 I agree, wholeheartedly, in fact, I could not agree more.  Eloquently stated!  The next post is, most certainly, yours to write.

R. Kamaria 854 pts

"Maybe, if I had more barriers to overcome, I would be more organized and hard-working.  Maybe, if I were made to suffer, my successes would have more meaning and I wouldn’t take so much for granted.  Or, maybe I would have just given up.  Who knows?"

 

The thing is, you don't know what you don't know. That's the matrix we all live in. Until one takes the time to actually have a conversation with, engage with, entertain with and experience life with that "other" then they won't know what world exists for other people.

 

I see this in my ex-boyfriend all of the time. He can be lazy, unmotivated and late everyday for work and still keep his job. He's been given a lot in his life and I don't think he knew a lot about the challenges of being a black woman until we started dating. Heck, I don't think he knew racism still existed (I'm exaggerating but not a lot).

 

I don't think that white folks have to experience the whole white guilt triumph, but we all - regardless of race, gender or religion - should strive to have more empathy for each other and truly experience walking in another's shoes. 

Veron 1387 pts

Great post! 

 

A) Topic crossover between blogs is one of my favorite things.  I effing love John Scalzi,and I remember reading that article and effing loving him some more. And his follow up articles after his comment section blew up and tried to eat him were just as awesome.

 

B) I understand that there is a white male privilege, but my mindset doesn't fall into the "Be bitter and complain and fight to get rid of white privilege" category.  I'm more of a "Gracefully assist in the slow process of changing the status quo so that eventually everyone can experience the same privileges, since there's enough to go around".

 

Resenting white privilege is pointless. So is white guilt.  Just work toward abolishing disenfranchisement and at some point "privilege" will no longer be privilege, but rather a way of life for everyone. *cue to kumbaya*

dani-BBW 1784 pts

I loved Val back when I watched The Office! Her interactions with Darryl were so awkward. Never knew her name IRL so thanks for this.

LorMarie 1345 pts

Whenever I go to a blog owned by a white man and I tell them about wm privilege, I get chewed up and spit out. This might be better coming from a white man than someone on the outside.

Brice Cameron 2063 pts

 LorMarie 

I don't think it makes a difference who it comes from.  Some people will never see it because they don't want to see it.  They were born on third base, but prefer to think they hit a triple.

youngteach 230 pts

 Brice Cameron  LorMarie

"They were born on third base, but prefer to think they hit a triple."

 

I dig this, with a shovel.

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

@LorMarie I think so too. I don't challenge white ppl about racism b/c they're never going to believe me. But I think when other white ppl do it may at least get ppl thinking & changing. It may not change everyone but each one must teach one. It's great for wm to admit this to bw, but most of it know it, we get it, so do most ppl's partners. This is an easier place to touch on this subject but may not immensely productive. WM Talking to other wm about this may not easy but it's probably more productive.

LorMarie 1345 pts

Great Post! Thanks for your brutal honesty. If you'd really like to make up for it, LOL, use some of your privilege to help the "less fortunate." Maybe you know a black woman looking for a job in your field. Pull some strings perhaps? Provide a reference? There are many things to do if you feel "guilty" LOL.

EarthJeff 3239 pts

I love the  post.  Ameenah Kaplan is beautiful, you and I may have to arm wrestle for her.  And if you win the first one.. 1. We will go best 2 out of 3 and 2. I cheat.  Just giving fair warning...