Gender Conflict

“At least I have a man!” is not a clapback, sis

Written by Nicole J.

Imagine with me, if you will.

You are single, happy, and doing your thing. You might be in school, working on your degree. Or, you’re working dutifully at climbing the ranks at your job. Whatever you’re doing, you’re satisfied with your lot, you just happen to be unpartnered.

Now, say you have a friend who is either married/engaged or otherwise in a relationship. Say the man does something unfavorable, like cheats on your friend or gets caught in a major, relationship-changing lie. You recognize this as a red flag and provide counsel for your friend. Your friend, who may have been with this dude for months, years, or decades, chooses one of three options.

1) Heeds your advice, and terminates the relationship
2) Ignores your advice, and carries on anyway
3) Says the ultimate ‘clap back’…

At least I have a man!!!

Has this ever happened to you?

For those of you who don’t know, “at least I have a man!” is not an insult, not in the way you intend, anyway. Think about the language itself: “at least” literally means “if nothing else” and is used to add a positive comment about a generally negative situation.

To use it in a different example: “I was in a car accident, but at least no one was injured!”

If you are rejecting wisdom from a friend because you don’t want to hear the truth, it makes you look bad. Tolerating nonsense from ANY race of men should be checked at the door. Character over color is the name of the game in these streets.

It’s easy to “have a man” if you don’t care about the quality of man you’re getting. Don’t ignore red flags, whether they are subtle or in neon lights.

When it comes to mate selection, it is crucial to understand what is important in the grand scheme of things. “Having” a man who is a habitual liar, or in and out of jail, or a serial baby-daddy, for the sake of saying you are in a relationship, is stupid. Better to wait and choose a quality man who is equally yoked with you, than jump in an unhealthy relationship just to say you’re taken.

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