Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

Come Hither: A Lesson in Being a Man Magnet

Did I hear someone say they wanted to read about way in which to attract men? I’m sure I did, and since I’m privy to a life that many of you lovely ladies will never know, I thought I would take the time to share my secrets with you.

How does one attract men? That’s both a simple and complicated answer, since no two men are alike, what may work for one may not work for another.

I can only offer you my perspective on how to get the tongues waging, but be mindful, sometimes once you turn it on it can be hard to turn it back off.

Be yourself.

But who hasn’t heard that before and what does it mean exactly…?

It means that you should figure out who you are first before inviting someone into your life.

Doing this accomplishes several things, first and foremost, it makes you authentic and confidence attracts worthwhile men. Insecure, inferior men will be intimidated by your decisiveness. By being confident and self assured about who you are, it makes it easy for a weak man to slink away, saving you both time and money….like Geiko!

And no guy wants to get to know a girl who is not really the girl he got to know in the first place.

It’s kinda like when jerk guys pretend to be your neutral friend and then once you get all tender and sensitive they break out the sexy speedos on you after a night of heavy parting while you’re just trying to throw up in the toilet and not on the floor.

It basically means you’re a phony flake and once a guy is interested and digs a little deeper he’ll find out that you don’t REALLY like Elton John, nor are your eyes really Hazel, nor are you a Victoria’s Secret model.

But I bet he’d love it if you were!!

Be an individual.

Who you are really matters to your potential mates and what you present directly affects the type of people you attract. Now I’m not sure how it became popular for people to look like clones but all I can tell you is that I’ve never looked like everyone else and it works.

Not only am I seen, I am recognized and remembered by males and females in social settings. This isn’t accomplished by purchasing the ‘latest’ whatever is being sold as the new shyt. This has more to do with a visual presentation of who you are on the inside (see above).

Do you think argyle socks and Converse sneakers and like Peanut Butter and Jelly…? Then go for it, don’t worry if no one else likes how you wear your hair, what clothes you wear or anything else having to do with you being an individual. You’re expected to….don’t disappoint a potential mate of quality by being a boring sheeple with no backbone or identity.

Be seen.

How in the world, or rather, why in the world would a man approach a woman that looks like she’s about to squeak and run away from him? I’m not being mean to the shy people, I’m shy too, but what I also am is a visual artist, luckily. Though conversation didn’t come easily to me, catching the eye of strangers always did because I stand out.

I do TRJ all day long, from the Gregorian chant music coming out of my too loud Ipod earplugs to my big, big, big, afro which is as big as I can get my fluffy bi-racial hair to be.

Why…because I think it looks cool (and that’s all that matters. See above). The guys who like girls who think they look cool with fluffy afros  seek  me out. Those who feel like ‘me’ is too much for ‘them’ either shy away or I may have the occasional one that may want to ‘tame’ or change me. He soon finds out that I know who I am and I like ‘me’ like this, too bad he doesn’t (see above).

I’m not saying get your Lady Gaga on, because not everyone has the temperament to be on display like some of us do.

But what I am saying is that if you find yourself in a social event with many men, why not walk through the middle of the floor rather than slink around the walls to go from A-to-B?

Oh, no, they’re all going to look at you! Yup, that’s the point. Chin up, and backstraight, Sashay-Shontay!!

Prance, my love, PRANCE! And is you notice a man has noticed you, hold is stare and SMILE at him!! He’ll smile back and three other men in the room will suddenly have the urge to chase you and make  you smile at them instead, I swear ta Gawd!

Change up your style of dress, I don’t know, people fight me on this, as if you shouldn’t be appealing when you are attempting to appeal to a new potential mate. I’m not asking for a full face of make-up and Sunday best, I’m saying put on a pretty dress, or a power suit with THOSE heels (the ones your ex loved so much…those) , or even a new hair style, a part on the opposite side of your head makes a difference, too.

My rule of thumb while shopping is to buy something in a pattern I would not normally wear, and then commit to working it into my wardrobe, that way, I’m breaking out of my mold.

Do you have several sets of the same set of clothes, I shame, we’re all a work in progress. #thestruggle

When you have the choice between putting on your regular “Monday” Old Navy pullover, why not reach in your closet and pull out that fire engine red dress instead? When you look good, you feel good, its a cliche because its true.

Men like women who enjoy attention…..she thinks she’s hot, and so men thinks she’s hot, because she thinks she’s hot. The more men, the tougher the competition, the harder they compete, the better for you. You win!! Have you ever been surrounded by men shamelessly vying for your attention?

No, you should try it, if you are, then you know, it’s the bee’s knees and the attention reinforces your fabulous-ness.

Check back for part two where I will cover eye contact, conversation and flirting 101.

Like Bees to Honey…..they won’t be able to resist you.

*peace fingers*

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