Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

If I Prioritize Getting Married, Will That Make Me Look Desperate?

I want to get married. I think that the first step to getting the things in life that you want most of all is to admit to yourself that you want those things. I find that life normally doesn’t give us things that we are afraid to enjoy, hold onto with both hands, or admit that we want. Life hardly ever rewards confused people.

Can You Admit That You Want To Get Married?

It’s become cool to feign disinterest in getting married. I can’t count how many interviews I’ve read in magazines where some Hollywood starlet claims that she doesn’t know whether or not she’ll ever get married–to her, being in love is all that matters and the whole marriage-thing isn’t on her radar at the moment.

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake just got engaged, but have been dating for eons. She previously claimed not to be very interested in marriage.


It’s possible for women to pick up some bad ideas from reading about and adopting the lifestyles and attitudes towards marriage that these starlets exhibit; hollywood starlets inhabit a world that is very different from the average woman; and, if an average woman actually takes to heart what these celebrities say, she could end up making some very unfortunate choices, like wasting time dating playboys when she should be looking for marriage-minded men.

As an example, lets use Jessica Biel. Some years ago I read a front cover interview given by Jessica Biel where she claimed to not care whether or not she ever got married. Fast forward to the future and Justin Timberlake has dumped Jessica after several years of dating and refusing to put a ring on it. Justin then changes his mind and wants to get back together but Jessica refuses to do accept him back unless he will propose in the near future. Jessica accepts him back and shortly thereafter Jessica is planning a wedding and sporting a ring. What happened to all that talk about not caring whether or not she got married?

White middle- to upper-class women can feign disinterest in marriage for years on end. They can play this charade of not caring about marriage because in the end they know (whether they admit it to themselves or not) that if they want to get married there will be ample opportunities for them to get married.

Feminists can declare they don’t want to get married because marriage is just a tool of the patriarchy. However, after all their complaining, most white middle feminists will still end up getting married.

Don’t Pretend You Don’t Care

I have decided–for a whole host of reasons–that I will be applying for the online MBA program rather than the on-campus program because I want to be in an environment where there are more eligible men to date. While I love the beauty of my campus and the professors are great, the average age of students on this campus is 23 years old. I’m a woman in my late 20’s. Most of the men I would be interested in dating (and who would also be interested in dating me) are likely to be in their late 20’s to early 30’s.

No offense to any of the women here who got married in their late 30’s, 40’s or even later, but I do not want to get married at such an advanced age in part because I do want to have more children. I am also aware of the difficulties women have finding men to date, especially as these women age. Thus, I cannot afford to spend the next 3 or 4 years pretending as if I don’t want to get married or placing marriage on the backburner while I stroll around this lovely campus–I have to prioritize getting married now.

I want to spend the next few years in a major city where there are an abundance of men and plenty of opportunities to meet those men. Because I will attend school online I can pack up and move across the country or across the world if I meet someone who I fall in love with and would like to be closer to. Love is definitely worth the price of moving expenses.

I have chosen to prioritize getting married, and I don’t feel the least bit desperate or ashamed for admitting that.

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