Interviews

Introducing Trini and Jay, Part 1

Today’s article is focused on a new couple, Trini and Jay. Fun fact: She is actually a writer on this site! Trini was so kind as to speak with me about her 26-year marriage to Jay. This segment will introduce this lovely couple. I hope you enjoy this piece. Thank you, Ms. Trini, for your participation.


What are your names?
My name is Trini and my husband is Jay.

How did you meet?
I was with someone else when I met Jay. That relationship was not right for me. He was an extraordinarily controlling man. At the time I had a small business. My money manager was a white Jewish man, and I was just focusing on my business. My then-boyfriend, Tom, invited me to a LifeSpring seminar that went on for several days. It was an expensive seminar, so at the time we decided that only one of us would go. He went and came back with my husband in tow.

When I came out to meet the guests my then boyfriend had brought home, there he was! I thought Jay was cute, but we were in different relationships at the time. I tagged along to some of the same meetings and went to a few on my own. We started seeing more of each other from there, and as they say ‘kismet’: we both knew we had ‘something.’


What are your cultural/ethnic backgrounds?
I am black. I was born in Trinidad, but I came to the US to live when I was 13. I have spent most of my life in America. Jay is a Jewish-American man.

 

Where are you now in your relationship?
We are married. We celebrated our 18-year anniversary on January 20th. However, we have known each other for over 26 years.

 

Who took the first step?

Things happened gradually, however, the physical attraction was intense. I think our ex’s started to sense that our connections with them had fizzled. When those relationships really died we started spending more and more time together. Very long story short, Jay took the first step.

When did you know it was going somewhere?
I chose to leave town for a few years. He really did not want me to go. We talked about it, but I ended up going anyway. I decided to spend his birthday with him, and I left shortly afterwards. It was clear to me that he was hurt and sad about me leaving, yet we stayed in touch during the years I was away.

I went from the east coast and stayed in the Midwest for a few years. I think that time away was meant to happen. I met a woman who would end up a dear friend and who would become one of the people who stood up for me at our wedding. We remain close to this day. I think that time away also helped to move our relationship in the right direction. When I came back to the east coast it was very clear he did not want me to leave again. He even came to pick me up at the airport when I came back. I think we both knew the relationship would be permanent.

 

What is your ideal time together?

We enjoy spending time together. We love going on cruises, eating, dancing and trying new things. One thing we particularly love is people watching and laughing together.

 

We work so well together that we own a photography business. I do the sales and he’s the photographer. That is his passion. We encourage each other to do what we love. I think I have really grown in my craft too. I have always been good at talking to people and finding out how to best serve their needs. We have relocated our business to the southern US.

Thank you so much for reading this article. We will continue this article in another segment. If you are interested in participating in this series or know someone who might be willing to collaborate, please share a message below or connect with Christelyn Karazin.

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