Pop Culture

Is it lame to love your wife?: Russell and Ciara

Written by Nicole


Social media has been quite busy the last few weeks! It seems that once 2021 kicked off, there was much to be shared. There was a riot, a glue issue, and now, the latest thing is the barrage of vitriol directed at Russell Wilson, calling him all manner of names, chief among them, a simp, because losing Ciara was his biggest fear.

Here are just a few images showing the flak that spread around social media after Russell loudly and proudly declared his affection for the woman he married. The nerve! The unmitigated gall!

With that being said, is it lame to *checks notes* love your wife???

Loving the woman that you marry makes you a…simp?


This blog does not cater to or aim to address the primary demographic of men offended by Russell’s public declaration of affection. But as black women, I want you to “peep game” as the kids say. If a man from any race reacts so strongly to a husband loving his wife, going so far as to coin a new term for it, RUN. If he doesn’t like seeing affection between married celebrities he’ll never meet, that’s a fair indication of what may be in store for you. In fact, I would avoid any man who uses “simp” as an adjective in general.


In my view, it’s all jealousy.


They’re jealous of Ciara because they wish they could be, (or have, though they’ll not admit it) a man like Russell. They’re jealous of her son, who gets a step-dad who loves him. Instead of getting a loving father like Russell, they got…the opposite, and have harbored that bitterness from then until now.


But here’s the real crux of this issue.


Choose better…but not like that!


There is a vested interest in black women accepting, tolerating, expecting, and even welcoming disrespect. If black women are conditioned to believe that struggle and suffering is her lot in life, then we accept scraps, when we are deserving of the world. By keeping the bar wedged firmly between Satan’s asscheeks, black women are conditioned to accept anything, no matter how bad, and be grateful for it. And, it guarantees that the only thing a man needs to bring to the table is his melanin and a smile.


Because Ciara initially chose poorly, and had a baby as a result of that poor choice, she is condemned to wear that scarlet letter until the heat death of the universe. Mind you, if she terminated the pregnancy, then she would face the criticism on the other side of that very same scarlet letter. Even celebrities are fallible, who knew? But she did what a woman in her situation should do, and course-corrected. She did what every screeching misogynoirist male with Wi-Fi access demands black women do…and chose better. And because those screaming “choose better” are more aligned with her initial poor choice, and cannot, and will not, light a candle to the better choice, now they are big mad.


Women like Ciara threaten the status quo. If more everyday black women see that, despite making bad choices, she too can still win in love, then the bad choices (i.e., every man calling Russell a simp, bar none) will only have each other.

However, do not go willingly into a bad choice!

Final Thoughts

They’re not wrong when they say choose better. But sometimes, when the pool of choices is rather poisoned, it might be difficult to decipher what choice is really the better one. You might make a mistake, but that does not sentence you to lifelong condemnation. Learn from your mistake, don’t make it a second time, and course correct.


And if being loved, provided for, and adored by my husband makes a man a “simp”, then that sounds good to me!


Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.

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