Do You Know the Difference Between “A” Husband and “The” Husband?

By “Nissa”

When I was in college, I was part of a women’s circle that met once a week to discuss school, God, & men.  Whenever one of us had our heart broken, we would vent during our weekly session, examine what went wrong and work on improving ourselves. Instead of calling our exes, “Mr. Wrong”, our group leader coined an excellent saying that comes to mind after each break up — “he is someone else’s husband”.

Jarrid Wilson, a young pastor from Washington State, has a popular blog that aims to encourage people and some of his content focuses on relationships.  One of his posts struck a chord with me:

According to Jarrid, our ideal partners should be: Driven, Possess a gentle spirit, Puts his lover before himself, supports dreams/aspirations, & loves unconditionally. I actually agreed wholeheartedly with Jarrid and it stopped me in my tracks. Less than one week earlier, I had gotten out of an involvement with a man who fit the criteria. He’s driven in his career, he was kind and gentle; one time, when he heard I was sad, he drove several hours to see me (it was long distance) even though we only wound up spending an hour together, he supported all of my goals, & he seemed really into me; it was too early to use any other L word but “like”. While we shared the same morals and values and had great chemistry, we never could agree on how to build a relationship on the wonderful foundation we created. We went our separate ways.

I was sad and I moped, until I read Jarrid Wilson’s blog. Then the sadness stopped. He was  a husband but not my husband.  Too many women are in relationships with people they know are not right for them. Ladies, once you let the wrong man go, you make room in your life for the right man to show up.

Remember, weeping may endure for a night but joy always comes in the morning. I firmly believe that I had that experience to prepare me for “my” husband. And to be perfectly honest with you, even though it did not work out with that guy, I am a better woman because it happened. So, when I think of him now, the sadness is replaced with gratitude and excitement about what’s to come.

It’s a new year. Start fresh. Stay open. And if you’re with someone else’s husband, let him go because, remember, you’re someone else’s wife.

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