I love when I see beautiful black women who are moving on and maximizing their options to include men of other races and cultures for dating and possible marriage. Remember I I’ve said a million times–with options comes power, and with power come respect. The Hubster and I just came from the nuptials of my little cousin, whom I babysat, fed and changed diapers, all grown up and getting married. She is of course African American, but her new husband is Haitian. They met when they were both at Harvard, and he was attending business school. Today they sealed the deal, and although they have similar amounts of melanin, their backgrounds are a confetti of culture that is so amazing to witness.
There were few things that helped my cousin marry well. First, she never doubted her worth and beauty, because her father and stepfathers were unwavering supporters and cheerleaders of her success and ensure her well being by being providers and protectors. Her biological father is both a doctor and a lawyer. Her stepfather is a career law enforcement officer.
Her stunningly beautiful mother encouraged by to be excellent, laid out clear expectations, and always dealt with love. La Keisha’s father and mother never married, and that’s okay; because they worked as co-parents and Dr. Landrum, esquire were ever present. Her stepfather married her mother when she was very young, and was a devoted husband and adoring dad to my little cousin. She was treated like a princess.
They encouraged her to get an education, wait until she was ready to have a family, and form strong bonds with men and women from all walks of life, and her bridesmaids reflect this…
While education and relationships were important to her, she so also focused on taking care of herself physically and spiritually. She focused on being her best self, and it shows.
Based on all that preparation, my little cousin married the best man for the job–a man who was committed to providing, protecting and producing. A Harvard Business School grad, there’s little worry that he’s gonna be able to handle the bills if she decides to stay home for a few years and be one of those carefree mothers you see at “Mommy and Me” and volunteering on the PTA. Clearly, La Keisha is not embracing “the struggle.”
Meet Mark Pierre, Haitian. Harvard graduate. Shares her Christian values. Comes from an intact home. Best man for the job.
I’m so proud of her. She knew she could have any man she wanted and chose well. She knew she had the power of choice, and that helped her make decisions not from a place of desperation but of abundance.
And you know what? I married the best man for the job, too. Boston College graduate. Grandson of a millionaire. Staunch family man. Works his ass off so his wife can stay home with the kids and live in one of the most beautiful and safest neighborhoods in Southern California.
There’s a message I’m trying to convey here. Can you figure it out?