Growing up, many young ladies are taught that beautiful and slender woman are the ones who get married. I’m here to tell you, it’s a lie.

Sadly, the psychological damage has been done and the impressionable take this misinformation to heart: They diet, read magazines, add excessive extensions, get plastic surgery, buy expensive clothing with plans to pay it off later, wear layers and layers of make up. And worst of all, if there is another beautiful and slender woman who has the audacity to make it look effortless, then that b**tch has it coming.

Those women have a “by any means necessary” approach to dating. And that’s dangerous.

In today’s society, beautiful women, especially those who have a lot going for them, are way more likely to be single than “regular”, “normal”, “average” or “unattractive” looking women. Why? Men are more comfortable approaching them. Sure, the ideal may be to marry a “trophy” wife but a lot of people never reach that point. Men are encouraged to sow their wild oats in their 20’s, preferably with gorgeous women, pose in pictures surrounded by hotties on Facebook but seldom do they truly consider settling down with them.

Also, if you are educated, well mannered, impeccably dressed and have a lot going for you, in addition to being beautiful, you might want to start looking at adopting a dog, cat or, child.

Unfortunately, there is an ugly way of thinking and behaving called intimidation and it is way more common than it should be.  We never tell our young ladies that there is such a thing as being “too” much of something: beautiful, smart, successful; the whole package. When our young, impressive ladies reach a suitable dating age and there are no men calling, they are at risk of doubting themselves. “If I were this or that than maybe”…It’s futile but, it is real.

Sadly, our reputation precedes us: Women are notorious for ostracizing pretty women, all for the sake of landing a mate.

On the battlefield of love, beauty is almost inconsequential. Being beautiful does not mean that your phone will constantly be ringing or that you will always have a date to the office party. It means nothing but more stares and possibly more sexual attention.

There is no need to envy the most beautiful woman in the room. You might have an easier love life than she does. A prospective partner may not have to worry about a “regular” or “decent” looking woman being stolen or gawked at, during courtship, her appearance will not be a distraction so he might not be as quick to rush her into bed, her intelligence will not be as shocking, and, most importantly, since she is not as used to being the center of attention, she might be less quick to reject anyone’s advances.

Cliffs Notes: STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER OVER MEN. YOU ARE FIGHTING THE WRONG BATTLE.

Finally, ladies, please love yourselves. Own who you are and who you are not. One day, when the time is right, the right person will find his way to you.

**I am not normally in favor of qualifying appearance. Therefore, please read each “category” within context and not as a label or something intended to be offensive or divisive.

So what say you, BB&W crew?