I’ve watched with some amusement and more than a little bit of incredulity the series of lies and propaganda against black women dating and marrying interracially.
In 2010, the argument was, “White men don’t want black women. They only go for white-looking black women.”
Simultaneously, I was belittled by black men who said the only reason I wrote “Swirling” was because just looking at me, they knew no “quality” black men were checking for me. You know, because I’m so dark, nappy headed, and ugly.
And don’t forget the old standby–“White men might screw you, but they won’t be taking you home or marrying you…”
And while these lies are propagated, then come the lame-ass explanations from folks trying to hypothesize why the positive news–that black women are intermarrying at higher rates than ever before in history, and such marriages are less likely to dissolve into divorce–because black women are just too unattractive and disgusting to find mates, and that if they leave their white husbands, black men aren’t going to want them. But this isn’t just coming from the black folks–oh no. Idiot white people are also trying to make sense of it.
In a blog post by a somewhat douchey guy who has the false confidence-tone I see on many a PUA (pick up artist) and MGTWO (men going their own way) commented on how he’s noticing white men are snapping up successful and good looking black women and noting that black women married to white men have the lowest divorce rates…
Let’s use OKCupid for some help. OKCupid’s data seems to point to white guys being picked for exclusivity even more by Hispanic and Asian women than with white women. White guys also make pretty good money. They also seem to have fewer kids out of wedlock. If you’re looking for husband material, white guys seem to be a good catch. Marriage itself has also become a middle class and upper class thing (thanks progs), so the type of white guy making the decision to marry is most likely earning some dough and looking to raise a family because what idiot is locking into one woman forever if he doesn’t want kids. Let’s use OKCupid’s data again (it’s a great OKCupid post) or Kanazawa’s study for black women. Just relaying study results. As far as the sexual marketplace goes, not all that high of value. As far as making money or wealth, not all that high either. As far as getting married, not all that many black women getting married either.
How do people meet their spouses? School, work, social circle or activities with their social circle. On the socioeconomic scale, we’re probably talking about a setting with a higher percentage of whites than blacks (even Obama’s campaign events). To borrow from the other explanation, possibly a higher household income and educational attainment levels. Oddly enough, the percentage of BF-WM couples where both have colleges degrees has dropped since 1980, yet the divorce rate remains well below the white-white average. In the unmentionables realm, you’ve got one member of a group that has pretty high value as a whole pairing with another member from a group with lower value. In a world of declining commitment, a man marrying is putting up stakes and locking one woman down. These white guys are selected at high rates by all groups of women and are committing to a woman from a group that has been assigned a lower value in the mating marketplace.
Think about what you see with these pairings. He might be a SWPL, he might be an Ed Hardy t-shirt guy, but she is going to be thin and attractive. Isn’t that all modern white men really want? That must eliminate some divorces from the frivolous and superficial crowd, but women initiate 2/3 of all divorces. He’s happy with her physically, and ahem, what’s the trade up for the lady if she leaves? If she divorces, what is her lifeboat or escape plan? Isn’t one of the thoughts behind the lower divorce rate for older brides the idea that she is older and has fewer options when she gets the seven year itch? Who is she going to find 7-10 years after exhaling at the altar? A woman who has made such a lifetime commitment selection, breaking away from a group that demands such conformity as modern America’s African-American community, might be attuned to what her options are. Google good brotha shortage. Suddenly that lower divorce rate makes more sense doesn’t it?
Okay; so let’s get this straight. Sloppy, booger-eating, beer-guzzling white guys are “high value” simply because of their whiteness, according to this guy. And as such, he can pick gorgeous, slim and successful black women (even though “the scientificals” suggest we’re all disgusting and no one wants us–which is it? Wish these bigots would make up their minds) and she won’t leave because she’ll feel so darned lucky to have a man because no one wants her she’s stay with Al Bundy, who burps and farts in her mouth and calls her the n-word. Uh-huh.
So…black women aren’t staying married to white men because they’re actually happy and content. They do so out of desperation.
How about this, you a-holes? How about black women married to white men know they are the ultimate power couple? How about the idea that white men admire the intelligence, resiliency, unique (and ageless) beauty of black women? How about the idea that black women admire that fact that many white men are socialized to marry the mothers of their children and to provide, protect and produce, and those qualities make these white men ultra irresistible to black women who desire such things? How about the fact that white guys married to black women get a kick out of people thinking they’re dating/married to women a decade or so younger than them because black don’t crack? Maybe black women really, really like being courted, treated with respect and have their accomplishments actually seen as a asset, rather than a liability? Maybe these two groups of people have it figured out while all the others are left scratching their heads.
Serious question. Do you think George Lucas married Mellody Hobson because he figured no one else wanted her so she was a safe bet?
Do you think Max married Eve as part of a “Help of Hoe” charity outreach?
Oh, and surely no white woman wanted this man, son of a superior court judge, grandson of a self-made millionaire, graduate of one of the most prestigious colleges on the East Coast and maker of six figures, so he settled for me…
Be ready, folks. There will more and more ridiculous explanations for the rise of these pairings, so just be prepared with your laff tracks.