Got this question from a reader, and thought the folks here would enjoy being the experts. 😉
I recently stumbled upon your blog, and I have enjoyed reading your articles and the commentary that goes on. I am writing to you because I have a question for you and also for your other married followers to comment on.
I am in my 20’s and my husband is in his 30’s. We met at work in 2008 and married a few years later. He is european and we married in his home country in Scandinavia and have been living here ever since. I have enjoyed my time here, but now we feel that we are both wanting to move back to live in America.
My question is about how interracial marriages are currently received in America. Since living in Europe here with him we have never once gotten a negative comment about our union, and most people here live by a live and let live philosophy (meaning they could care less about the skin color of a persons chosen mate). Now I am not stupid, I know there are racists everywhere, even here. I have had a few instances where I personally felt discriminated against because I am black, but those have been few and far between (and that’s life). However they are not so outspoken that I have ever had any issues or negative comments come up about my marriage to my face (or his).
I was wondering if you could talk about your experiences in your marriage in regards to race, and ask your husband if he has had any negative experiences behind closed doors from people he works with once they find out his wife is not white. I was also wondering what in your opinion and the opinion of your readers are areas in the US that are very open to interracial marriages and what places people may have found to be the most closed minded. This would be a big help in narrowing down what cities we want to explore the idea of moving to when we return to America.
I have talked to my husband about race in America, and of course we watch the news. Obviously the stories that come out of the US sometimes in regards to race relations are horrendous and terribly sad. So it makes him afraid to move to a place that can be so hostile. However, I won’t say Euorpe is the best place in the world either. They have plenty of their own issues with race. Also now the amount of refugees that have come in recent months has put a whole new strain on race relations in many places. I volunteer with some government organizations in my spare time to help refugees and I see the issues here that are going to become major problems in the future if they are not addressed, but I digress.
That being said, no place is perfect, and I want to help give him a more balanced opinion of America other than what is playing on the current news cycle. So it would be really nice to get your opinion, your husbands opinion (I don’t think he talks on your blog so maybe he could just tell you and you could relay his opinion), and the opinion of the husbands and wives that follow you. I would like to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t sugar coat anything. Tell it like it is!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter, and I hope you have time in the future to write a response! Take care and good luck with all your current projects!
-American in Europe