Book Writing Adventures

Whoa! At the Comments from My “BW/WM Myths” Article on Madame Noire

Just a note, some people think negative feedback discourages me. They truly do not understand how insane I am.


When you see a black woman and a white man walking together, holding hands or with a baby in tow, what’s the first thing that comes to your head? There’s often a lot of assumptions that folks on both sides of the melanin spectrum come up with the justify their unions, and most of it has nothing to do what’s probably the real, honest-and-true reason: They LIKE each other–simple as that.

Sheesh. If I haven’t heard it all. And the list I could put together might be longer than the Dead Sea Scrolls, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll list a few of the most common bass-ackwards reasons people think black women and white men hook up.

“He just wants some jungle booty.”

Well, maybe. But when you see increasing amount of black women with wedding rings on their fingers by their melanin-challenged partners, that judgement holds about as much water as a sieve. A man will not give you his name, bear children with you, and merge his finances so he can have some black jungle booty on the regular. Sorry; try again.

“She just wants good-haired babies.”

Hmmm. This is a tough one, because I can’t speak for every black woman who procreates with a rainbeau is seeking to water down her blackness. But to be fair, I bet there’s a little some of this going on. Colorism is a real problem in the black community that has gone mostly unaddressed. Dark-skin and kinky hair have are by and large not embraced by our community, and yes; we all know where it came from. But must we continue the slave mentality? Are we really that weak?

As for me and mine, my first child was born out-of-wedlock to a gorgeous dark-skinned black man and I just KNEW we were going to have a beautiful dark-chocolate baby. But you know what? She came out with skin like caramel and sandy brown hair with blond streaks. Go figure.

I think most black, educated and upwardly mobile black women are just looking for partners who will love and cherish them. Black women want to get married, dammit! It’s our right, and white men (or non-black men) are the ones who are actually stepping up and marrying dark, kinky-haired black women, why you mad, son?

“It will never last.”

Also not true.

Marital stability studies published on the Education Resources Information Center found that White female-Black male unions are more prone to result in a divorce than White-White marriages are, while Black female-White male marriages show substantially lower rates of divorce than White-White marriages.

Erica Chito Childs, Ph.D., an associate professor at Hunter College and Past Chair of the Section of Racial and Ethnic Minorities for the American Psychological Association and author of Fade to Black and White: Interracial Images in Media and Popular Culture says that black men don’t necessarily date and marry interracially because they have transcended their hang ups about race, she told me. Dr. Childs, a white women who is divorced from a black man, says that often, black men boo-ing up with non-black women has more to do with status and getting the “trophy” that was once taboo and off-limits to them.

You can read the rest here, but what SLAYED me were the typical comments. Hilarious.

Christelyn I say this with love and from the heart you chose a white man, now accept it, deal with it and stop being so insecure.What is it about being with a white man that makes you fell you need to justify it.I really feel sorry for you as you are not at ease or happy with your choice.You are trying to put down black men and act as though they are inferior and not looking to be with black women so we need white men.Stop feeding this nonsense black love is alive and well period.

Honest reply from a white chick married to a black guy…… thought that crosses my mind spontaneously is that “they can’t raise their own sons up right so she is playing him because she wants to be taken care of. A step up from using Uncle Sam.” I usually can’t stand to see white chicks with black guys either or seeing other mixed kids. But in reality when I know people that’s a whole different story. As for seeing black chicks with white guys, I think I’m really afraid she’s not going to be good to him. And as to the other white chicks with mixed kids I just don’t think they are as special as me and mines. (:P) So whatever, I’m not trying to impress anybody, I’m just sharing a mental experience…..

Not this tired topic again get over it Krystaline and get over yourself.It is not happening no matter what you say or believe that sisters are hungry for white men.Unlike yourself most black women do no hold a negative and hostile opinion of every black man and a God like love of white men.You need help Krystaline I think in your case “misery loves company” and you are not happy in your relationship with a white man or you would not need to constantly mention it trying to get approval.


Besides the fact that my editor assigned me the story (I didn’t pitch it, but of course I was more than happy to) These folks who rush to quell any real discussion of black women exercising they GOD-GIVEN options is borderline…ebbil.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.