Why Is Everyone Mad At A “Non-Working” Black Woman?

SAHM, lifestyle, choices, options, family, parenting, marriage, couples, children, finances, aging, society, culture, stereotypes, black women,stay at home black mothers, non working mothers, stay at home parents, women who don't want to work, raising kids, child rearing, tradition, servants, privilege, freedom,

I find that there are few things that piss off black people more than a stay at home black mother. Not stay at home mother, but stay at home BLACK … [Read more...]

You Tried It: On Unsuitable Men Hiding Behind “Feminism”


In my previous article on the whole "gold digger" meme, I said the following: It is really tiring to me when I see people throwing [the word gold … [Read more...]

Yolette and Dustin, Wedded Bliss

Yolette and Dustin 2

I met Yvette Joseph Burger via Swirling and Marriage.  Yolette submitted some of her gorgeous wedding photos and now I am sharing with you.  I got a … [Read more...]

Lessons From The Hubster: What You Get With a Guy Who Wants to Go Dutch on the First Date

dating, relationships, swirlr, mixed marriage, culture, stereotypes, etiquette, black men, cheapskates, don't date him girl,

So The Hubster and I have many a conversation about the the blog's goings on, and I mentioned how a new member of ours, ostensibly a software engineer … [Read more...]

The Sad Story of Sandra Laing: A tale of White Privilege, Rejection and Fetishism

Sophie Okonedo, mixed marriage, culture, relationships, blended families, swirling, Africa, international, documentary, society, sandra laing, apartheid, economics, class, black women, laws, rules, racism,

Have you heard of Sandra Laing? Her story, though originating in apartheid South Africa, will likely resonate with us here.  From the Guardian: The … [Read more...]

Need A Boyfriend For Valentine’s Day? Rent One!

rent-a-gent, valentine's day, holiday, chinese new year, romance, dating, single women, escorts,

Are you tired of being the only manless woman in your circle of friends? Does your family constantly ask you if you're seeing anyone? If you've got … [Read more...]

Searching for a Matchmaker: Back to a Familiar Place

culture, race, ethnic, names, children, blended families, racism, discrimination, privilege, society, employment, stigma, dating, relationships, insight, black men, options,white men, black women, dating, interracial marriage, blended families, relationships, romance, flirting, advice, reader question, looking for love,

If you had access to ten men who had been vetted for good character and were already attracted to you, would you meet them? What if all of them … [Read more...]

QOTW: “I Have Five Kids. Is It Too Late for Me to Swirl?”


I get this question quite a bit, and I have to be very delicate how I answer. But it's time to address it. Hi Christelyn,  I'm a single black woman … [Read more...]

Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man’s penis.

black men, white men, romance, relationships, advice, couples, penis, big black dick, interracial, pick up artists, mysogency, racist, racism, ignorant advice, dating, culture, stereotypes,

I recently ran across a post from a "Pick Up Artist" site  by an expert giving advice to non-black men on how to date black women. It was interesting … [Read more...]

It’s Official: Tyra Banks Has a New Boo

eric asla, tyra banks, america's next top model, dating, boyfriend, romance, kisses, interracial, marriage,

Tyra Banks, model and creator of the reality TV show for aspiring models America's Next Top Model, was photographed getting her smooch on in a … [Read more...]

QOTW: “Am I Wrong If I Choose to Never Date a Black Man Again?”

black women, black men, dating, behavior, latino men, swirling, options, choices, marriage, crass, behavior, sexual, exploitation, familiarity, interracial, question of the week, turn off,

I just got this note from a fan of the blog and fan page: I have a question for you Christelyn as well as the other group members who are doing the … [Read more...]