Lessons From The Hubster: What You Get With a Guy Who Wants to Go Dutch on the First Date

dating, relationships, swirlr, mixed marriage, culture, stereotypes, etiquette, black men, cheapskates, don't date him girl,

So The Hubster and I have many a conversation about the the blog's goings on, and I mentioned how a new member of ours, ostensibly a software engineer … [Read more...]

The Sad Story of Sandra Laing: A tale of White Privilege, Rejection and Fetishism

Sophie Okonedo, mixed marriage, culture, relationships, blended families, swirling, Africa, international, documentary, society, sandra laing, apartheid, economics, class, black women, laws, rules, racism,

Have you heard of Sandra Laing? Her story, though originating in apartheid South Africa, will likely resonate with us here.  From the Guardian: The … [Read more...]

Need A Boyfriend For Valentine’s Day? Rent One!

rent-a-gent, valentine's day, holiday, chinese new year, romance, dating, single women, escorts,

Are you tired of being the only manless woman in your circle of friends? Does your family constantly ask you if you're seeing anyone? If you've got … [Read more...]

Searching for a Matchmaker: Back to a Familiar Place

culture, race, ethnic, names, children, blended families, racism, discrimination, privilege, society, employment, stigma, dating, relationships, insight, black men, options,white men, black women, dating, interracial marriage, blended families, relationships, romance, flirting, advice, reader question, looking for love,

If you had access to ten men who had been vetted for good character and were already attracted to you, would you meet them? What if all of them … [Read more...]

QOTW: “I Have Five Kids. Is It Too Late for Me to Swirl?”


I get this question quite a bit, and I have to be very delicate how I answer. But it's time to address it. Hi Christelyn,  I'm a single black woman … [Read more...]

Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man’s penis.

black men, white men, romance, relationships, advice, couples, penis, big black dick, interracial, pick up artists, mysogency, racist, racism, ignorant advice, dating, culture, stereotypes,

I recently ran across a post from a "Pick Up Artist" site  by an expert giving advice to non-black men on how to date black women. It was interesting … [Read more...]

It’s Official: Tyra Banks Has a New Boo

eric asla, tyra banks, america's next top model, dating, boyfriend, romance, kisses, interracial, marriage,

Tyra Banks, model and creator of the reality TV show for aspiring models America's Next Top Model, was photographed getting her smooch on in a … [Read more...]

QOTW: “Am I Wrong If I Choose to Never Date a Black Man Again?”

black women, black men, dating, behavior, latino men, swirling, options, choices, marriage, crass, behavior, sexual, exploitation, familiarity, interracial, question of the week, turn off,

I just got this note from a fan of the blog and fan page: I have a question for you Christelyn as well as the other group members who are doing the … [Read more...]

Monica: “I Thank God For My Husband”

marriage, swirling, couples, relationships, religion, inspiration,church, Monica L, God, christianity,

Monica L. In light of a recent post, I wanted to share a refreshing story of Monica L.  This beautiful, scholarly sister would not let negative … [Read more...]

Do You Know the Difference Between “A” Husband and “The” Husband?

wedding rings

By "Nissa" When I was in college, I was part of a women’s circle that met once a week to discuss school, God, & men.  Whenever one of us had … [Read more...]

A Sister Reacts to Accusation of Race Betrayal

race, dating, marriage, conflict, insults, black men, black women, swirling, interracial, society, stigma,

I was given permission by L. B. Kelle to share a recent experience she had.  Now I know the loyal readers of BBW would have some choice words to say … [Read more...]