Black Women's Empowerment

Hypergamy and Leveling Up in Everyday Life

What does hypergamy mean to you?

Side Effects May Vary

I notice that people have a rather varying views of hypergamy and leveling up. That is absolutely fine. We all have different paths in life, and we want to achieve a life that brings us personal happiness and satisfaction. From my observations, there is a disconnect between the image of hypergamy from the blog, and from our audience. Whenever we post articles on flowing in upper echelons of society or exploring different ecosystems, we get a flood of comments on how men need to love women as they are, on how people do not need money to be in love, personality is what matters, (insert an exception to obliterate the suggestions presented in the article). 

You all make legitimate points and arguments. Every time I read the comments, you give us something to think about. We think that hypergamy and personal satisfaction can look different for everyone. So, I thought I would take this opportunity to explore other forms of hypergamy and what that term as a whole could potentially mean to you. As I am still learning like everyone else, I will be including the thoughts from different influencers below. If you need to refute any points in the article, we would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. You can also connect with some of the experts who offered their take as well. 

Candice’s Take

Candice Adewole posted the following post in the Pink Pill space. (By the way, to join the group, you need to first purchase the Pink Pill course and go through all of the modules.) With her permission, I am sharing her thoughts. (The writing below has only been edited for grammar.) 


As  we work to discuss tips and tricks on how to move strategically, each of us needs to step back and assess, “What does hypergamy mean to me?” I have seen this circulating in the Levelup streets. I posted this in another group, so I’m posting this here as well.




This of course is NOT a complete list. This post is not picking on anyone in particular but I have just grown weary of the hypergamy BS and the “I don’t date/marry Blue Collar Workers” BS. Some ladies (not just in this group) are showing their poverty mindedness and ignorance by regurgitating ignorance of certain Level up coaches. A man’s wealth is not his take home income alone. Wealth minded people know this. Does he have investments, property, own things of value? Can he budget his money? All these things need to be taken into consideration.

For the ONE MILLIONTH time, hypergamy looks different for every women depending on her FINANCIAL AND SOCIAL starting point. Please understand this important fact and stop perpetuating ignorance. Stop shaming women who don’t want extreme wealth but still want to practice HYPERGAMY. It’s possible to do that. Know what kind of lifestyle YOU want to live. You want to marry a MILLIONAIRE? GOOD FOR YOU! You want to be a SUGAR BABY? GOOD FOR YOU! You want to be kept wife and live in EXTREME LUXURY? GOOD FOR YOU! I support ALL of that… what I do not support is ignorance.

Stop saying you want a BILLIONAIRE or MULTI MILLIONAIRE when you are not SERIOUSLY trying to lose that 15 plus pounds you are carrying around, your teeth are bad, your kid(s) are bad, you have not invested in etiquette classes, wife preparedness courses, or do not the faintest idea what that type of money and lifestyle looks like because you are too busy getting FREE game on YOUTUBE and too cheap and lazy to truly invest in your Levelup.

Do you know how many 7-8 figure owners there are on the planet? Are you realistic about what those men are looking for and the choices they have? What seriously makes you so special? Finally, for the record, there ARE white collar workers who DO NOT make 6-7 figures. Listening to the wrong folks, you all are going to sleep on some good guys that are able and willing to have you as a kept wife. For some examples of blue collar jobs that pay six figures, you can also check out this article as well. 

That is all from Candice today. To hear more from Candice Adewole, please visit her website or her YouTube channel. Speaking of YouTube channels, another YouTuber, Chloe_ created a poll on December 28, 2019. (I used to follow her videos religiously. While she has a blog that is focused on hypergamy, she focuses on black love. She has excellent tips and advice, so if you are interested in her work, I would encourage you to check out her channel.) I thought that it was such a great questionnaire that I would copy the survey and present it to our audience.


Hypergamy Poll:  What do you Consider Relationship Goals?

  • A 50/50 Power Marriage Based on Mutual Respect!
  • Being a Stay At Home Wife and Mother with A Provider Man!
  • Being a Bonafide Sugar Baby and Finessing Sugar Daddies!
  • Being A Power Feminist: I like to Control Weak Men!
  • I want both a High Earning Career and a Hypergamous Marriage! 

(Please remember that I did not write this poll. Please try not to get offended by the wording, but listen to the spirit behind the words.)

My Final Thoughts

Choose for yourselves ladies, and choose wisely. Just remember that whatever path you choose will require an action plan. If you like the life and the options you have now, feel free to maintain the status quo. If you want a life that is slightly different from what you have now, make minimal changes and strategic moves to secure your position. However, if you are looking to enter the higher strata of society, there will be some major life changes to make – changes in health, behavior, dress, leisure activities, and more. If you choose to marry far above your class, you will need to learn how to live in his world.

That said, you do not have to aim for that life necessarily. Do what is best for you. Remember, what you do to get somewhere, you will have to continue to do to get there. Just be sure that you are aiming for the life that you want. Do not bash changes that you need to make, to get the life that you want, because it requires more than you care to give, or because you think that you are unworthy. As long as you go to bed at night, happy with the consequences of your decision, then we have done our job.

Remember, as Christelyn always says, “With options, come choices, and with choices comes power.” We want to empower you to make choices that can maximize your options. If certain advice does not suit your situation or appeal to you, just remember that we offer general advice. This blog is not a “one size fits all” vaccine for our current situation. Feel free to chew the meat and spirit out the bones. In other words, take the advice to works for you and apply it, or if it does not apply, let it fly. 

We never want these posts to be a lecture, but a conversation. Every time you leave a comment on social media or on a blog post, we are reading it. We want to see how you think, how we can best speak to you, and what advice we can offer for the situations and events that come our way. If there is something that you would like for us to explore further, please let us know. I would especially love your thoughts at the end of this article, as I would like to see how we can explore posts on hypergamy and levelling up on a broader scale.

That is all for today’s post. Thank you so much for reading this blog. We hope you enjoyed this article. If you would like to share your take or suggest content to explore, please leave a comment below or connect with us on social media. We are on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. For more posts like this one, please subscribe to our website. 

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