Sooooooo…where were we? Previously we discussed how to become a man magnet and phone niceties for noobies.
Oh, yeah, he likes you. You like him. You plan to see each other for an ‘official’ date.
But what does THAT mean?
I think people take dating WAAAYYY to seriously. The point of the entire exercise is to find out how compatible the two of you are, as in “will I want to be standing next to you doing other shit for the rest of my life!?”, type of having fun-ness.
For that, you’ll need to light a fire under a man’s rear. For that reason, I encourage people to go hard for their first date.
And why not?
Unless he’s got unlimited time and disposable income and you’ve got nothing better to do, you might as well test the waters for real, for real…..
Some first date suggestions:
The Amusement Park:
I love going fast and risking my life and screaming until I’m sick to my stomach and so should the man in my life. I used to utilize Sit and Spin (side eye….go Google it) to make myself turn green at a very young age, and nothing has changed since then. I love to be off kilter.
Why is this a great first date?
Because I’m a princess type that is also a raging speed junkie.
I’ll need a guy to talk me into getting on the ride (smoke up the arse blowing matters to me), hold my hand (I’m sen-si-tive), allow me to bitch as we wait on a VERY long line to get on said ride (he’s showing me he can be patient when I’m not capable or willing), AND he should willing (and able) to win me a big over sized teddy bear and then be willing to hold it (and my purse) while I run off to pee.
This is a test of character like none other….I’m a character, as you can tell.
You see where I’m going with this?
Will he think me cute when I’m beet red from riding the SUPERMAN ride 4x back to back to back?
I hope so.
Will he scream like a 11 year old girl while we’re going 150 MPH on a roller coaster?
Will we laugh like kids and break the first date ice?
Now we’re left with a car ride home. This is the perfect opportunity for a quiet conversation after our first Great Adventure. Or it may be time for a snooze while I fold myself into a ball in the passenger seat (trusting/comforting)?
Will we sing to the tunes on the radio?
Which station do we listen to and who singing voice sounds the best 0r worse?
Will he tease me about my singing or let me hit my high notes as only I can (will he chastise me for being silly…? THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL!)
In an amusement park we have our choice of salty and fattening foods to eat. I like to indulge on occasion, and sharing the calories with the one I love (or like) is how I keep my girlish figure.
There is plenty of walking to be done and so much more to see and do. I have a lot of energy, he should too…(hint, hint).
I need a man who will indulge my inner child, a man who can keep up with me physically, a man that will help me be brave when I feel as if I can’t. Simply stated, I desire a man who understands my inner child.
I need these things and the amusement park is where I separate the men from the boys. I prefer the latter, at least, at heart.
How about a date that gives the gift of giving?
If you’re a granola type and/or whale hugger like myself, then you love nothing more then to cuddle up next to a soup kitchen on a Friday night.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to go out and do ‘social’ things but I REALLY like spending time doing the things I do in my spare time. People are important to me. Being socially active in my community is something I carry with me as a family legacy. I’ve began volunteer work as a toddler in the stroller while my mother worked the election polls in our home town. I know the average person doesn’t consider these things worthwhile, but I find satisfaction and pleasure in giving, I often go alone or with my daughter.
However, you, and you, and YOU, and HE are always invited to come along, of course.
I know your wondering, ‘what can she hope to gain by exposing her dates to poverty, sickness, and/or gang violence? ‘
Glad you asked. I do it because I wonder if he can find value in the things that I find valuable.
Is it an easy thing to visit a nursing home and dedicate some time to an elderly person?
Is it fun? It can be. If you enjoy talking to people unlike yourself and if you find happiness in serving others then you might like spending time with the elderly. They tell great stories and the personalities of the feisty ones shine through, age and lack of mobility is secondary to having a lion’s heart.
Better yet, would my potential mate find it worth his time to make a sacrifice for someone else simply because he was asked to do so?
He may play along to impress me (that’s fine…he’s being tested), or he may enjoy the idea of giving the gift of compassion and time to someone he may learn from.
He may feel it a waste of time and boring tp sit with people he doesn’t know doing something he doesn’t enjoy, but who doesn’t like to play BATTLESHIP!!?!
Who knows what the reaction may be.
He may do a lot of things but asking someone to do something out of the ordinary is a great way to see how he rolls with the punches. Its also a great test of his willingness to be empathetic to the less fortunate. I have a heart and I the man that I date must have one too.
Of course, for the next date we can do something a little more light hearted then listen to Martha tell us about her affair with JFK, but for now.
Vetting………….is the name of my game.
And last but not least…
The Secluded Picnic:
Am I suggesting that you climb over a fence that clearly says BIOHAZARD so that you can chill out by that great landscaped fake pond over behind the factory? Na, I’m not.
What I am suggesting is that the two of you eschew a loud, and expensive night on the town, little grass hopper.
This idea won’t appeal to the non-nature lovers, which is cool because some people don’t love bugs and nature, that’s too bad. I do, so he will be expected to spend some outdoors time with me at some point. Why not the first date!?
If I find that he is totally and enthusiastically against all things sunshine and mother Earth. Pity, but if the idea is met with enthusiasm, I’m stoked to have someone who may potentially go out in the meadow and chase unicorns with me at dawn (I love sunrises) in our old age.
Hay rides, hay rolling, its all connected, you see.
So how does one have an picnic date? Easy, peezy!!! You can opt to shop for snacks alone or together. Keep things mysterious by splitting up in a store and shopping for snacks in secret. Trying different foods, and the conversation surrounding your choices will make for good date banter.
A deck of Uno cards.
A book of poetry.
A crossword puzzle or simply people watching is a perfectly acceptable way to spend a picnic date.
If things go well, you have all this great ground and blanket to cuddle on.
If things don’t go to well, no harm and no foul, since this was a cheap date to begin with.
I understand that not everybody is built for the outside world, but any man who is willing to risk his life against a hill of ants to win my love is definitely going to earn points with me for effort.
You can end the date with a kiss or a hug or a high five, that’s all up to you. I’ve had some amazing dates that ended at breakfast the following day, kids, don’t try that at home.
The point of a date is to interact with a new potential person in your life. If sparks don’t fly, no worries, as part of the date may be a chance to see how he deals with valleys and peaks. A take charge man that can switch gears while keeping a cool head is to die for.
A guy who can make a time spent standing under a store front awning while waiting for a rain shower to pass a night to remember is a keeper.
The guy who huffs and puffs and out tantrums me may not make the final cut. DIVA!!!!
I said all this to say, first dates are meant to be fun, enlightening and should be a chance for both he and you to feel each other out (or up).
Its important to make sure he’s the type you might want to be caught on the island with and if he’s not, rest assured, there are plenty more fish in the sea but don’t be too quick to drop your anchor just yet.
Competition turns up the heat…a good date with one man is wonderful. Good dates spread across several men is even better.
Next: Non-monogamous dating…….we’re not done, yet.