Hot off the presses, George Lucas, the film genius, and business tycoon, Mellody Hobson, are engaged after seven years of dating. This is just a guess, but I bet ole George asked Mellody for her hand during the holidays.
Of course we here at BB&W celebrate their impending union and are happy for them. The larger story is what this message sends to single black women everywhere. This here is an example of an accomplished woman merging her life and resources with an equally accomplished man with unlimited resources. And at just 43, she is still within child-bearing age, so she has secured a stable foundation if the two decide on any George Jrs. or Mellody Jrs.
Mellody chose well, and will marry whom she deems as the best man for the job. Not the best black man, but the best man. Remember young tenders, it’s never gold digging to expect your life partner to be equally-matched in terms of education, class and financial status. What we see here is the new, NEW Black Woman, who isn’t beholden to what “PC Black cabal” thinks someone of her status “should” marry so she can “keep it real.”
To be sure, there are countless high-achieving, educated and top echelon black women who are powerhouses in the boardroom, but mules in their personal life. My closest childhood friend, beautiful, and intellectually gifted, is married to an ex-convict. She’s put up with all sorts of nonsense over the years–infidelity which resulted in her contracting an STI not once, but TWICE, spotty employment on his part, battling with him over his ‘hood parenting style, I could go on and on. And she could have had anybody. ANYBODY. But she chose him. Men of every color were enamored with her, but in her head and in her heart, she never felt like she deserved to be with a man of quality. Her low self esteem and reluctance to take anyone seriously who wasn’t black kept her from living her best life. She has her regrets–we’ve spoke of them. She now knows where she’s erred, but she still refuses to leave, mainly because of religious convictions.
When I found out she was marrying the convict, I told her, “You can do better. He’s not good enough for you.” She flipped. She accused me of being “high and mighty” because I was seriously paired with The Hubster at the time. Without actually saying the words, she told me that since dating a white guy, I think I’m too good for black people. So…I backed down. I wasn’t going to lose 20 years of friendship over a dude, so I kept my mouth shut and stood up as a bridesmaid at her wedding. But knowing what I know now, I’ll never be quiet again. Ladies, it is OK to feel like you deserve better. So WHAT if they call you “bougie.” Be “bougie” and if you so please, marry the BEST man for the job. Just like Mellody is.
Mazel tov to the happy couple.