I have to say, I AM LOVING my girl, JC Davies’ book, I Got the Fever. Â What I like best is how she organizes the dating experiences of each race–Hispanic, Asian, Indian, Jewish and Black– by chapter and section. Â She gives frank talk on what you can expect–from dating, to family and even sex.
And I’m now reading the “Yellow Fever” chapter with much interest, because I never knew how complicated the whole Asian dating thing can be.
First, according to Davies, Asians are ALL ABOUT what you do for a living. Â Artist? Writer? Fuggetaboutit. Â Better bring it with an M.D., JD., or some engineer-ey, computer geek-like vocation.
Then, there’s the food. Â Apparently food is how Asian families express how they feel about each other. Â So I guess if you’re served a plate of pig poo at the family reunion you pretty much know where you stand.
But what gave me pause in Davies’ chapter on dating Asians was her view that they were VERY open to interracial relationships. Â But…it depends on the race. Â JC is white, and Asians like the “banana swirl” because some believe it augments their status and will make them some pretty babies. Â However, bringing home a black girl can be a different story:
Which brings me to the topic of “face.” Â Jo Gan talks a lot about this on her blog, Life Behind the Wall (BTW, Jo is a black woman married to a Chinese man). Â ”Saving face–ensuring that you maintain the highest level of honor, respect, and reputation–is the most important thing to understand about Asian cultures. Â It permeates everything in Asian life, including career, family, food and even sex,” says Davies.
Which apparently, says Davies, they suck at. Â AND! they don’t go…uhrm…downtown. Â She’s quick to mention that not all of them discount the sexual needs of their women, but it would be interesting to find out how true this generalization is. Â I think this may vary from nationality to nationality, because I once had instant message sex with an old Filipino acquaintance who told me how he’d like to…you know what…every which way. Â Lawdy.
I also bet the guy over at Blasian Love might have a thing or two to say about all this. Â In fact, I’m going to ask them and have them reply so you can get the words from the Asian guys I know themselves.
On the positive, Davies says that Asian men like to take their time to get to know you first, and they ALWAYS pay for the date, so you can leave your wallet at home.
By the by, Davies’ book launches TODAY. Â And because she loves me so much, she says that anyone from BB&W who buys her book through her site will get an autographed copy. Â If you know next to nothing about dating other cultures, this is a very, very enlightening read. Â So get it.
I have a ton of experience in this case. I am a light skinned black girl, average height and thin and I have only dated asian men, 3 seriously to be exact.
The first was in college and he was on the football team. He was someone I had known a long time, not to say I grew up with him, but our families knew of each other and we attended the same school. He mostly dated asians before and after me, I was his first non-Asian gf. We dated briefly. I ended it, but we are still friends.
One was a TV reporter, who has dated every race in the past but black, but said he was open to the idea. We dated a few years, I broke it off with him although he wanted to marry ME.
And the third is a paramedic, very tall and attractive Asian male who loves me silly. He proposed, and we are engaged.
And all of them go downtown, and better than any black or white guy, i can guarantee. They pay for dates, and they have all loved and accepted me unconditionally
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