So before I show this video, I thought it would be a good time to do a PSA. I have to do a little hand slapping because I honestly am disappointed how many of our QOWTs devolve into some commenters pounding folks into hamburger. You guys aren’t privy to the back end of the drama, but many of these folks write back to me and say they thought their problems might be met with some understanding, and instead were shocked by how some where so harsh, and they wished they never reached out. In fact, I lost a contact for a major feature because of this person’s perceived poor treatment. What’s worse, the amount of questions I receive has greatly reduced to almost nothing. I honestly don’t blame them, because unless you’re a sadist, nobody would want to deal with some of the abusive language I’ve seen here at times.
Now tell me, if lurkers are too afraid to reach on a blog that was founded as a safe place to discuss interracial relationships because some folks smell weakness like sharks smell blood in the water, then…what’s the point?
I’ll be honest with you, some of these attitudes I’ve seen remind me of how my mother would often react to me before I got wise and stopped asking for her advice or sympathy. I think some of us have been so conditioned to “kill our young” that we don’t even realize it. Combine that with the anonymity of the internet and you get a whole new level of meanness. For many in the BC, to seek help or show weakness is asking for widespread mocking and disdain. Search your heart. If you can do better, try.
Now that I’ve said my piece, Brenda55, our senior moderator, has addressed this issue with new rules of conduct for future QOTW. Please take note.
A member of the BB&W Community has asked for advice with a specific concern. Stick to addressing the person’s concern in a respectful and polite manor. Any attack on or negative speculation on the character of, emotional status, values, maturity level of the person asking the question will result in removal of your post. Any derogatory, snarky, insulting comments and or insults directed at the person asking the question will result in removal of your post. As per the general terms of service: Be civil, no personal attacks, flaming, or insults. We may attack ideas respectfully but we do not attack the speaker of the idea. Be careful with your words, there is a point where being direct crosses a line into blunt, in-your-face hostility.
Now without further ado, feast your eyes on Matthew!
I usually dated more than one guy at a time in my single days. I mean, why not? I never bothered talking to them about it it wasn't their business. If a man called me to go out and I was dated up, I said I was busy. If he questioned me too much about it, I told him not to call me anymore. My experience was that a man who was thinking marriage usually said so. Interestingly, when Beloved Spouse started talking marriage, I cut the other 2 guys loose. They both said "why didn't you tell me you wanted to be married? I'da married you!" Not sure if I should have brought it up or not but Beloved Spouse was the one I really wanted. Glad he brought it up!
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