News Bites: Recent Census Data Reveals, Once and For All, 1+1=2. Marriage Can Make You Rich!

Okay, maybe not “rich,” but it damn sure makes you less poor.

In the latest we-already-knew-that-news, according to recent Census data, ” A third of families headed by single mothers are in poverty, and they are four times more likely than married-couple families to be poor. The disparity is on the rise, and as the number of single mothers grows, analysts are debating if more marriages could mean less poverty.”

Now I’m no math scholar, but I tackled this issue pretty thoroughly with No Wedding, No Womb! and barely got out of the fruckus with my ass still attached. What pisses me off the most is the level of absolute DENIAL many single mothers, and products of single parents have about this. The first thing the NWNW deniers will say is, “No, NO! We don’t need intact families! We need more social programs and support for single parents so they won’t be poor! It’s the government’s responsibility to make them middle class, even if they haven’t earned it!” I’m sure the bastions of liberal, militant feminism will organize a protest against the Census for suggesting women should go back to being shackled to stoves, barefoot and pregnant.

From NPR:

For many conservatives, the answer is simple: Promote marriages as a balm for poverty. Last week, the Heritage Foundation issued a report called “Marriage: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty.” In his run for the Republican presidential ticket, Rick Santorum proclaimed three simple steps to stay out of poverty: “Work. Graduate from high school. And get married before you have children.”

What the HAYELL does the fact that single parenthood largely results in poverty have anything to do with being conservative? Is there a common sense political faction I can join? Where dat at?!

Listen single moms and dads, here’s a little bit of advice to you from someone who has been there, done that, and got the t-shirt:

Please stop fighting for widespread acceptance and adoption (no pun intended) of single parenthood. Stop pretending it’s all gravy when you know and I know it’s not. When me and Maxi were on our own, I was always scared…“What if something ever happened to me? What if I can’t get off work in time to pick up the baby and they triple charge me? What if I get laid off? How many recitals can I miss without my kid hating me?” Girl…stop. You know this shite is hard. And Boy…stop. Don’t make a baby with a woman that you wouldn’t make a wife. Both of you, use the brains the good Lord gave you. Two dozen forms of birth control, choose one. Just one.

And just a warning: simple folks responding with, “Well, my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother were single mothers and we all have our PhDs! Chile, I wasn’t talking to you.