Question of the Week: “How Can Black Women Rise from ‘The Bottom of the Barrel’?”

Dear Ms. Karazin,

As a professional single BW who has been attracted to and is interested in dating WM, I have a question: why are Asian and Indian and Hispanic women seen as suitable minority partners but BW are seen as taboo? I’m just wondering how BW can gain more equal footing will ALL races of women and not feel like we’re the bottom of the barrel. I am spending some extended time in Europe and have seen BW on a pretty much equal level with all other women. The men are proudly with their partners.

Thoughts?

Jolie

Jolie, I’m going to answer this question, but with some hesitation, because I think this letter may be written by a troll-mole. You are using certain phrases that I hear often from folks who seem personally invested in making black women feel less than. You’d think this kind of poison might come from outside the black community, but it’s not. People–skinfolk–are the ones to gleefully spout and spread the gospel that black women are some sort of sub-human species that all the world is repulsed by. So if this is your backhanded way of coming in here to repeat to this audience that they are walking, talking crud sticks, congratulations, because you made it through the firewall. But you made it because I’m going to use it to make a several important points, so put your listening ears on.

To address your first question:
“Why are Asian and Indian and Hispanic women seen as suitable minority partners but BW are seen as taboo?”
Asians, Indians and Hispanic women don’t share a sordid history of slavery and segregation like black American women. Go to other countries like Italy, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Germany, the Netherlands, Australia, New Zealand, Canada or France and you’ll quickly realize this “bottom of the barrel” business is American made, and PROUDLY perpetuated by an unlikely primary source: other black people, especially online where the cowards can spew their hate with relative anonymity. Sure, some white people may think it, but the level of gleefulness about the now-infamous OK Cupid study, about how all races of women were preferred above black women has been propogated not by white racists, but by black racists. If you currently in Europe as you say, then you can see this distinction for yourself.

Let’s stop and think about this for a sec. To take a line from Khadija, I ask you, “Qui bono?” Latin for, “who benefits?” Who benefits from convincing black women that they ain’t shit and nobody wants them? Follow the feces-laden skid marks and you’ll have your answer.

I will concede, however, that black AMERICAN women indeed have an image problem, and we can and should use a few pages from other disenfranchised groups who were at one time in American history also viewed as barrel sludge. But it’s going to take a Hurculean effort, and I’m not convinced enough black women care enough to get on board. But for those who are concerned and wish to organize, I would suggest the following:

**Buy “Black Woman, Redefined” by Sophia Angeli Nelson. Read it actively, and invest in several highlighters.
**Join the Facebook group, “Black Women, What Not to Buy.” We have tremendous financial power, let’s give our money to those that support us and our positive image, and starve out the others.
**Live the “No Wedding No Womb” lifestyle, and if you already are, pass the concept along to a friend, relative, peer, or total stranger.
**Get a passport and travel.
**Surround yourself around the people you wish to emulate. Learn what works for them, modify it and make it your own.
**Run fast and far away from anyone who seems invested in reminding you “you ain’t shit.” There’s an agenda there, you’d best believe it.
**Embrance self-reflection.

And last but not least, remember that it’s not your sole responsibility to influence how and what a group of ‘others’ think of an entire race of women. It takes a higher level thinker to judge people on as individuals. Stick with those guys, marry them, and makes lots and lots of babies, ummkay? The world needs more smart people.

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The Man Myth