Why Are So Many Black Women Allergic to the Truth?

ok the facts are "glaring me" in the face. i suppose. there are issues in the BC,at least the AABC, especially between the two genders. However, i think if i choose to believe that Black men generally loathe black women and don't want us altogether, i think i may be making a mistake. If there are even 300 or 500 black men who don't feel that way, i am lying ot myself.

So i accept that yes many black men now have options, meaning non black women, and that has changed the way they deal with us, and how they view us, but to write them all off is i believe, dangerous!

even if white men and rainbow men are our options, it is not going to help the self esteem of black women to believe that our men as a collective can't stand us, because after all they are our fathers, brothers, uncles, sons , etc. Herein lies the problem. So i think its best to yes, understand that the reality is, alot of BM probably do not respect Black women on many levels, or even are no longer interested in them as wives, sexually of course we know they are interested. but really, take them on a case by case basis, because there are many nice, down to earth, hard working, normal black men who have healthy relationships with women of their own race.

I have been given the side-eye on almost everything; the drinks I order, the clothes I wear, the movies I want to see, the music I listen to, the men I date, where I live, my political beliefs, etc.

and

If you make your life better, then it’s who the hell do you think you are? You just a black bitch like me, you don’t deserve something better than what I got. You’re black, you need to suffer.

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This has been the story of my life with black women. They would call me crazy or retarded and then they would start treat me with disrespect and get very aggressive (fight or bully mode). It was at this time that I started to cut off alot of black female friends off.

I just have no idea why someone would be concerned about my relationship if they have a good one. My relationship with my fiancee is so wonderful and we're just having such a good time together, I could care less if anyone else is having a bad or good relationship. If you're having a good one, I'm glad but I'm so not concerned. It's like people being concerned about a gay relationship, really what does that relationship have to do with yours, if they are happy, why are you threatened? Unless, of course, you're not really as happy as you pretend. I don't have to brag or put anybody in their place, if they are miserable as I think they are and are trying to make me they already suffering mightily already. Mostly I just ignore people, that usually makes them mad because it means your opinion is of such non-consequence it's not worth me putting a thought together to reply to.

I would have to agree with you on this one. I see so many black women in the media who have this chip on their shoulder.. And I'm not sure why.
I'm still very disappointed with Jill Scott :(

Anytime someone is trying to give the "hard sell" about how great their life is because they managed to "stick with their own" and "be loyal to the race", it always makes me wonder who they are really trying to convince, me or them. Every one should have the freedom to choose what makes them happy, not settle because everyone else thinks it is what is best for you.

C R-K, did they spell your name right?

"live your best life and f*ck the rest"

That's it girls - that's the title of your book! :)

Browncow, you need to put this phrase on a t-shirt for real.

Black women believe what they wanna believe, they are selective it terms of facts. Black men are dedicated to their black queens? Ooh, child, I like that! That must be true.

Black men use the sistas for sex and then leave them to cope with child that was created? "I can't judge a man for that. I don't know what was going on in that relationship. ,one of us do."

Also, black women are very racist in their thinking about other black women. If you make your life better, then it's who the hell do you think you are? You just a black bitch like me, you don't deserve something better than what I got. You're black, you need to suffer.

If it was a white girl making her life better then that seems okay, but black women don't think black women are entitled.

Black women as a group are jacked up. Face it. That's why you need to keep poking them and saying, hey look over here, fool.

I'm going to do my best to end up with a good man, no matter what wrapper he comes in. I'll be laughing at all those STUPID bitches then, chasing after their baby daddies while they're still insisting there ain't nothing like a black man.

Bwaahhhh! A good man is a good man. Why doom yourself to a crap life based on skin pigment?

christelyn and other ladies on here has black guys in the pass who were interested in you but you werent interested in them and have found out about you being in a relationship with your husband say to you,"oh i see why i couldnt have a chance its cause your only in white guys", and in your head your like even if i wasnt in a relationship with my man that still doesnt mean you would have a chance.

I loved your video response to the haters and idiots. Sorry that this is happening, but as CW said, it comes with the territory. Just stay safe in mind, body, and spirit. I have nothing more to add. I think I said what I wanted so far up the thread.

It's both sad and great that the trolls are responding. All it does is expose what AA women have been pointing out for years.

The best way to fight back Christelyn is to not respond directly and keep it moving.

No matter what I say or do, I have family members that will turn everything I say into something negative when we discuss interracial relationships. When I say I feel burnt out, depressed and angry after our conversations, it's really an understatement. So I choose not to talk, save or comment.

You will never change their views and the more you respond, the more will come...sort of like roaches. Ignore the comments. It'll keep your sanity and will make them look like the bitter angry folks that they are. If you want to stay in the game without a melt-down, let your supporters hold the bug spray!

This is an interesting topic that I've mulled over - I understand the brainwashing that some BW are operating under (battered black woman syndrome, similar to Stockholm syndrome) regarding black men. I get it, I really do. Sometimes things are so bad in your life/neighborhood/community, you have to find an emotional/psychological way to justify it.

There are three absolutely wonderful sites that discuss these issues at length:

www.sojournerspassport.com

www.dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com

www.blackwomenblowthetrumpet2.blogspot.com

But what I’ve never understood is why some of my own FEMALE friends and family members have tried to keep me from doing what’s best for me, from being with the BEST possible guy who deserves me. If you’re so happy, why do you care about my choices? I get why the men do it, but why do the women?

Here’s my guess: I think that as long as all, or the VAST MAJORITY of black women suffer under these conditions and settle for any jailbird/deadbeat/piece of whatever man, it makes it easier for everyone to stand it. Like if we’re all with these low level guys, that makes it ‘normal’ and ‘our culture’. If there are woman out there who aspire for more AND GET IT, it makes it harder for those ‘left behind’ to deal with their horrible choices.

A lot of the mind control and brainwashing that black women suffer under is based on it being a widespread, vast majority thing. It’s based on the fact that no one ‘outside our community/cult’ can know what’s really going on for black women, or how bad things are. Anyone who criticizes or publicizes – either from the outside of the inside – is the enemy and most be eradicated (that would be you Christelyn). Women like you will spread a message discontent (or a message of hope, depending on how you view it) to the other black women.

These women desperately need to believe the black community myths, to keep themselves from crumbling.

Tracy, I’m with you – I too am quiet in public about how terrific my dating/relationship experiences have been – going to opening night of Madam Butterfly at the Met, or the cute surprise picnic in central park -because I didn’t want the other black women at the beauty parlor to know. Some of these women have such terrible stories - the ones with the stories of deadbeat dads who wouldn’t pay child support, being part of a harem (but I know he LOVES me! He’s just playing with those other b-ches), being rejected because of their beautiful dark skin (I’m as dark as Alek Wek, NEVER had that problem), and all the rest. I keep quiet in public because I didn’t want these back women to feel bad – worse about their lives than they already do.

But now I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing them a disservice . . . . . .

I used to think all these ‘sad single black women’ articles all over the media everyday were annoying.

But now I think that they might be a good thing . . . . . . . . . .

I think so much hate and resistance is often experienced by those who bring to light the dirty little truth that's destroying a given community....in this case ours. It means for many, they can no longer stand silent or whine about racism (which exist, specially institutional racism), instead of looking how to change and challenge the destructive role both men and women in the black community play. I say both, because black women are the biggest enablers of black men stupidity. Otherwise, we would not be having 70% unmarried black women and 70% fatherless children.

Yes, there are many great responsible black men out there, after all they fathered us. I love and respect my father, brothers and uncles. However, I know they are the exception and not the norm sadly within any given black community. We might differ in our issues due to religion and cultural norms, but we all share one glaring reality: lack of active present fathers to their children.

I enjoy reading your site and learning so many good advice and knowledge from you and the many other great ladies who frequent. So, please ignore these haters, they are a lost cause until they wake up from their sad delusion. I never felt ones you bash or generalize all black men. In fact, you focus on how to uplift and empower black women, who might or might not experience your own life journey.

Why do people care so much about adults who are living their life? I never understood the people against interracial relationships its like the feel your a card carrying member of a black only club and your about to get your pass revoked. Your choices don't effect them in any way so I don't know why they care? Maybe their racist against outsiders and want you to be too, I'm like Christelyn I don't hide the fact that I'm happy and living well I know there not if they were other peoples personal lives would not concern them.

Sorry this happened to you. I can confirm that your website (along with several others) has CHANGED MY LIFE, in the best way possible. I don't think I was ever outwardly against being in an IRR, but now I realize maybe I was subconsciously avoiding it. I've gotten so much good information from you, and this site is definitely one of my favorites.

When people viciously criticize others, I always wonder, "What's lacking in their life, to the point that it makes them bitter enough to attack others?" I think along the lines of the previous poster, Elaine-if a woman has a good BM, why would she care about your decision to marry interracially and to encourage other women not to limit their dating options? Again, whenever those "I know lots of good single black men" posts come up, you never get specifics on where these men are and how she can meet them. Methinks these many good black men are mythical or, at the very least, not particularly interested in being married.

Keep doing what you do-those who want their blinders removed-like I did :)-appreciate it

"I know that we are supposed to ignore and move on, but lately I have taken the low road and started STRAIGHT UP BRAGGING(subltly tho) about my trips to Ireland and New York (all in one year! Can Tyrone afford that?) my backrubs, my dont-have- to -touch-my-purse weekends, and my stress free life in general…

It is heaven when the eyes start rolling and they get all twisty mouthed…and I don’t worry much, cuz I know that “God will forgive me”…… lol!!"

Tracy, you've got the right idea; I do the same thing too with my (still SINGLE) girlfriends.

Christielyn, I'm sorry your message is being attacked on all fronts. I know I mentioned this in another blog posting of yours, but some people are more than satisfied to go through life with blinders on to the truth. The fear of ostracization is a powerful deterrent, and rather than confront the problem many are willing to play ostrich with their heads in the sand.

HAHAHAHA!!! Thank you for this!! The Innanet Troll Brigade never ceases to amaze me!

One note tho - the knee-grows that were on MY BRAND NEW CAR - I agree, the police shouldn't have been called. I've been a member of the NRA for far too long to go that route.....

“Well, I have mine, and I know a TON of BM who are successful, decent catches, so that’s on you. You are wrong!”. Uh huh.....let me let you all in on a little secret...

This is IgNiglette speech - it translates to: " Heffa, I settled for what was out there, why you trying to be all high and mighty and not settle too? Here, if you ask me, I might set you up with one of my "Boo"s (pick one: jobless, uncouth, stupid, socially inept, etc) friends - they all "good men"!!

I know that we are supposed to ignore and move on, but lately I have taken the low road and started STRAIGHT UP BRAGGING(subltly tho) about my trips to Ireland and New York (all in one year! Can Tyrone afford that?) my backrubs, my dont-have- to -touch-my-purse weekends, and my stress free life in general...

It is heaven when the eyes start rolling and they get all twisty mouthed...and I don't worry much, cuz I know that "God will forgive me"...... lol!!

To answer question, sometimes the truth hurts! It seems we humans never LISTEN. We always have to learn by experiences . . .

But then sometimes our truth may not be other people's truth. That's where the disconnect happens.

This is how I see it. If you are a BW who is happily married to a BM, and you get mad when someone promotes IRR (with claims that it attacks BM), I'm wondering why are you upset? If you got yours, then there is no problem. However don't project your feelings on me and others who can't find a BM of their standards by saying "Well, I have mine, and I know a TON of BM who are successful, decent catches, so that's on you. You are wrong!". This argument annoys me to no end, because you are discounting mine and other women's experiences. Instead, what this women should do is say, well I can introduce them to you or come to this place to meet said men. But I guess that would be too much like right. I mean it's interesting other cultures have many ways to do matchmaking (usually by family or friends), but we as BW don't. That's a serious problem.

Anyway, as with most things, the people who will receive your message will receive it. If I was able to sift through all the data on this site and get what I need, then others can too. If the only thing that people take from this site that BM are the "scum of the Earth", well that's on them, because those ladies will be proven wrong sooner or later with their own personal experiences or those ladies (who are closing their ears to the message) will miss some pretty useful and relevant information.

Learning...learning fast. CW warned me this would happen. She's like my e-Mom.

Some will even start foaming at the mouth and if you look good you may see steam coming from the ears, eyes will get red and tiny horns will rise from the head. You gotta know who you talk to about these things or things could get real messy.