Written by Saran Lawson
I was a part of a discussion on modern interracial dating. The discussion touched on groups created online such as Facebook as well as other communities of people who choose to date outside of their race. The question was, are these groups needed? Specifically, Do black women and Asian men need the ambw community. This, in my opinion, can apply as well to black women paired with any ethnicity. Terms like interracial dating, swirl, and ambw/bwwm have become hashtags for couples on Instagram and Facebook. In short, I do believe these groups have served their purpose. Moving forward, these groups should adapt to the times we live in.
I applaud the pioneers of the community for creating the safe space we have today. The past has given us what we need to now venture into the next frontier. There was once very few places you can go on the internet that showed interracial couples. If you were interested in dating someone of a different ethnicity it was a shot in the dark. Where do you go to meet people who are also interested in dating outside their race? How do I navigate interracial dating? What do I do when I meet his family? How do I prepare him for meeting mine? What are some issues I will face dating outside my race? These questions were explored from many different angles. People came out of hiding and told their stories. It was amazing. However, in 2019, times have changed tremendously. It is no longer 1998 and you have to hide your boy band posters in fear that everyone will find out you like white guys. Millennials are far more ahead with interracial dating. Most people just look at it as, ‘if I’m into this person and we click, then why not’. Centennials? It’s not even a blip on their radar. They’re now dealing with questions on sexuality. People are now googling, ‘ Does it mean I’m gay if’, questions. Things like, ‘what is an asexual’ or ‘am I aromantic’ now dominate google searches. Before people asked yahoo what has now been deemed a silly question, ‘Do white guys like black girls’.
What is our focus as a community going forward? What does the future look like for interracial couples? What kind of content do we need to see? I think the conclusion myself and others have come up with is, exploring race within dating. We are no longer trying to open the world’s eyes to us. We now have to open our own eyes and see that there are things to tweak within our own community. We need to address our partners understanding our racial position in society. How they can become an ally. We should ask ourselves, ‘Is my partner an ally or do they have problematic views’. There is also, ‘Am I dating someone who fetishizes me’? How do Interracial POC couples help each other through the political climate? These are the topics that we have to explore in this current climate with society in the United States and abroad. These are the things we now have to navigate. What are some modern issues you feel should be addressed in the Interracial Dating community? Sound off in the comments below.