Relationships

A Letter of Encouragement to Black Women from Interracially Married Man

I received this letter yesterday that so touched me, and I was delighted that he asked me to share this with you. With all the racially-charged rhetoric and fear-mongering, notes like this bring so much hope and joy. If you’d like to send me a letter, email me [email protected]com.

Christelyn,
I have been a fan and a subscriber to your channel for many years and love what you are doing to help Black women in achieving their true happiness. I am writing this letter so you can share it with the group in hopes that it will open the eyes and hearts of black women who are second guessing dating outside the black community.
I met my wife over 25 years ago when I was stationed in the military. It was the early 90’s and I was looking for someone to share my life with. I was no stranger to dating non-white women. I had a few failed attempts in dating black women. One would only date me in private and felt she was betraying black men when we were together. The relationship ended when her roommate caught us together (a black female) and threatened to tell everyone. Another seriously liked me but her brothers were not having it and threatened to kill me if I continued to date her. We broke up with her crying and tearing my heart out.
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I soon met my wife a few years later and we instantly hit it off. We were inseparable. We soon were married and were to have our first child. At six months of pregnacy, we lost our first child. We were torn but I supported her during this time. We later tried again and through serious bed rest and special diet, we had our first daughter. Five years later we had our second daughter. This would be our last. She had to have an emergency C-section because they both died on the table, but were quickly revived. We raised our family throughout the years and struggled financially as I was finishing college and getting a better job. As things were settling down, my wife started having head pains and numbing in her body. She later had a stroke, which turned out to be linked to pseudo tumors in her brain from having Multiple Schirosis. She was determined to finish her degree and I supported her all the way. Even as she crossed the stage with a cane, I still saw a strong beautiful woman. Ten years have gone by and she has had a few relapses and her memory is not as great as it use to be. This year she was hit again with ovarian cancer. She had to have a partial hysterectomy. Even as she has felt less than a woman or not beautiful, she is always the beautiful woman I met over 25 years ago. She is out going and always friendly with everyone. She always tries to find the good in people.
She knows this can not always be possible. She has seen the ugly people do in the world and I have shown her how many, like you and us, are being treated online and it angers her to tears. I dont discuss it much to her anymore, because I hate to see her cry or upset.
When I found your channel, I read what the women wrote, listened to you and KsC and heard the same stories my wife had told me about her past relationships.
It really saddens me to see so many beautiful women being treated this way in the black community. There are many good men like me out there wanting to find the right woman. Many of my white friends are open to serious relationships with black women but feel they are not seen attractive. The funny thing is, I hear the same from black women I talk to. They both find each other attractive but fear that the other doesnt. I want black women to realize they are wanted as women. They are seen as beautiful. They are desired. They dont have to pick lower class men to feel loved or supported. Us, real men are out there waiting to love them unconditionally.
Thank you, dear writer. This was much needed.
Psst!: Match.com has authorized me to give everyone who has visited this page 25% off. Click this link to get the deal.
Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.

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