Based on nearly 10 years in the interracial dating business, I’ve come up with a definitive list for the types of black women who are on the fence about interracial relationships. If you do anything remotely similar, hop back off the fence in the direction you came.

You’re afraid of pink penis

You think your relationship should be an extension of your politics

You mindlessly fight for people who are against your best interest and collective image

You can’t judge people as individuals

You think every white person you see is a descendant of a wealthy slave owner

You are more afraid of being fetishized than being unmarried, lonely, diseased, abuses, and a single mother

You care too much about what your family thinks, and they will accept black dysfunction over interracial harmony

You have zero tolerance of innocent ignorance and endless tolerance for deliberate ignorance

You have no idea or no desire to relax, be feminine, and shift your ideas of what a caretaker’s roll in a relationship looks like

You think dating white men will be the cure for all your ills

You don’t properly choose your battles (hills you want to die on)

You believe your own stereotypes

You’re afraid of entering foreign ecosystems cuz you believe you’ll be rejected.

Your too lazy to cultivate yourself for any environments other than black ones.

You believe black lies that say non-black men aren’t attracted to black women.

You are ashamed of your hair and prioritize that shame over everything else in a healthy relationship.

You resent mixed-race women and don’t want to birth one yourself.

You are afraid that having a non-black mate will make you less relatable to other black women.

You think every discussion with a non-black man must be about race politics

You make it your mission to turn your non-black partner into a hashtag activist for all things black so he can make up for simply existing.