A friend of mine recently shared with me her dissatisfaction with a man whom she’s been seeing. Early in the relationship, he came on strong, full of promises and plans for what they would do together and how he would wine and dine her, give her his time and attention in order to win her love. A few months later, the guy did what in business terms is called, over promising and under delivering. Once my friend began to reciprocate his affection, all the promises and ardor cooled, and they settled in a routine where she hardly saw him and she was never a priority, which was wholly dissatisfying for her. He’s also become overly critical of her appearance, which is causing a crack in her self confidence.
She’s not happy, but is hesitant to call it quits. She has developed feelings for him, and he appears outwardly as a catch–he has an advanced degree and operates several businesses. He’s extremely handsome. He’s also a gentleman–opens doors, pulls out chairs, and according to her, is amazing in bed.
Despite his positive points, my friend isn’t happy. But because he seems a lot less worse than what else is out there, she’s afraid to cut bait.
This is typical for many women who feel like a bird with a broken wing is better than two healthy ones in a bush. We women aren’t always willing to gamble that we can do better, so we settle in where we are despite being unhappy.
Phuck that! The best thing you can do for yourself is to know that single, available men are like buses–there’s another one coming every 15 minutes. You also have to believe that you are a prize and worth more than what you’re getting. Preferably before that loser you’re dating makes you feel like you’re the lucky one to be with him. Bottom line, you have to be willing to play the numbers to win the man you really want, and not one you settled for because you don’t think you can get anyone better.
Know You Can Get Better Starts When You Gain Confidence!
In the book, Why Men Love Bitches, the author makes the argument that confidence is like kryptonite to a man. They love a woman who knows she is a prize and knows she’s a catch. Confidence also means that you give off the message that you don’t need this man…and he should be happy that you want him. Confidence means you won’t think twice about dumping a man who refuses to do right by you.
So how do you gain confidence? By faking it, of course! In all seriousness, confidence comes with knowing that you are your absolute best self. However it takes for you to get there–whether it’s getting fit and eating right, learning how to dress that best compliments your body type, taking up and mastering a hobby, finishing school, getting your teeth fixed, whatever. The more you work on yourself, the more confidence you feel and the more convinced you are of your ability to attract many quality men. When you know for certain that men are like buses, you don’t mind waiting the extra 15 minutes for the next one to come along.