Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

Blasian Fusion Couple: Andie and Ken (Part 3) – Forget the Blueprint

We’ve all had one, girls anyway, at one point or another.  That list you create when you’re dreaming of that special person.  You imagine what he looks like, his smile, and the color of his eyes.  Then you think about how he’ll make you feel, what his kisses taste like, or how he smells.  Next, logistics roll into your mind:  what is his job, what are his passions, what do you have in common.  What is you ideal man? Andie imagined nothing short of her own personal Thor, God of Thunder.  Instead, she got Ken: a short, lip-smacking, nerd… who loves him with all her heart.  They say you can’t help who you fall in love with or it’s the person who you least expect.  Who would’ve guessed this man would be the one to change all her rules?

Ken simply knew he had just found his best friend.  “I can tell Andie a lot of things and I ask her for a lot of advice.  I consider that a best friend.  I share my life with her.” After over 4 years with his best friend, Ken knew there was only one thing to do: Man up and put a ring on it.  In true New York fashion, he went to the only place where fairytale-worthy engagement rings can be found, at least according to Andie’s obvious hinting:  TIFFANY’s.  “It was much easier than I expected…I picked it because I knew that she would like it.”  He proposed the night before his Eurotrip, his self-proclaimed last bachelor stand.  [At the time], “We were arguing over nonsense, of course.  It was very simple.  Some people might consider it pathetic, but the point is not the situation or the atmosphere, but the answer.  I proposed while we were heading to bed.  I took out the box and asked her to open it.” “He asked me, ‘Will you marry me?  I know I should have asked within the first year I met you,” Andie remembered.  “I said yes, of course.”

For Ken, no flashbulbs went off when he realized this was forever. “There was no AHA moment.  It was something that developed over a long time being with the same person.  Realizing, you know what, we have a lot of things in common.  We also might have some differences, but I think they also make us a better pair.  Obviously, she does a lot of things really well like maintaining the home and cooking.  She has a career and is educated.  She comes from a good family.  Those are obviously qualities you look for in someone else.”

Andie:  “And I’m fucking gorgeous.”

Ken:  <laughing>  “And she’s very gorgeous.  I’m not going to curse.  You can always try to settle or keep looking for the next best thing.  But sometimes you know. You just know.  There’s no formula, just intuition.”

For the bride-to-be, she knew he was the one after a trip to a karaoke bar.  He was being his typical a**hole self and pissing off the staff by ringing the service bell.

Andie:  “That little jerk…  First of all, he didn’t fit my blueprint.  You know, the blueprint that most women have in the back of their heads.  That’s just ridiculous and sets women up for failure.  Because you miss out on that magic of just connecting with someone that doesn’t fit that criteria.  No one person has all of that or will have it in that moment.  It could be later on in life.  Women don’t understand that they can meet men who haven’t achieved everything on your list, but if given time can do so.  By throwing out my list, I opened myself to goodness. Ken is not the man I met 5 years ago.  He’s actually better now because I know the real man now. I know every day he’s growing and changing, but the real man in his purest form is very attentive, deeply, deeply, loving, and deeply generous.  Very hardworking and extremely responsible. When I first met him he was not into trying new things or joking. And now he is.  People don’t believe me when I say Ken plays pillow fight with me or that he sings in the shower.  Don’t knock something off the bat yet because for that present moment it doesn’t fit.  Give someone a chance to grow with you.  You just have to make sure that person in their purest form matches you and everything will fall into place.

***Special thank you to Christelyn Karazin and the commenters who sent constructive criticism and positive energy towards both the couple and me.  I read ALL of the comments and know who you are.   You were my saving grace, honestly.  Karma can be a biznotch, but she’s coming at y’all with a blessing.  WORDS DEMONSTRATE CHARACTER. ***

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