Bullied for “Acting Like a White Girl?”

When a fan sent me this article from The Blaze about the parents of a young black girl suing the school over relentless bullying by other black people for apparently acting like she wants to be a white girl, it struck a nerve.

My whole life, I was accused of the very same thing–thankfully not at school, because I went to a predominately white one. But I was constantly accused of “talking white” by my cousins, and then later, men I’d dated. As a result, I tried to adopt an “urban” affect, which made the situation even worse. Because my brain was wired to speak in complete sentences, use the correct tense of “to be” and said “ask” instead of “axe.”

Even today, with my work promoting interracial relationships with black women and non-black men as a viable option to address the abysmal marriage and divorce rates in the black community, I’m accused of “forcing” myself to have this form of speech in order to fit into larger white society.


Sorry folks. I was raised in larger white society, and my mother taught English. Saying stuff like “she be axing all deez questions” wasn’t going to fly with Mother. And quite frankly, by the time it came to searching for a job, my “white girl” accent (which is really just a flat, California accent most non-black people have here) got me the job faster than those who made fun of me.

The irony in all this, is that the larger “white” society has more tolerance for “urban” speak than black people have of other black people who refuse or cannot adopt ebonics. It’s the reason why this poor girl was bullied. Oh. And also because she was smart. And the types of black kids don’t like smart black kids.

According to Columbia’s The State, black students at Hand Middle School reportedly “called [the student] racial slurs like ‘Oreo,’ ‘white girl,’ ‘wannabe white girl,’” and “generally maligned her for ‘acting white.”’

The lawsuit also alleged that “in addition to being repeatedly pushed, shoved, and tripped in hallways and chased during recess and physical education, [the student] also suffered several notable physical assaults.”

Other assaults against the student reportedly included having her face slammed with a backpack — an incident that reportedly chipped two of the student’s teeth and bloodied her nose.

Additionally, the lawsuit alleged that the young girl was forced to hide in a bathroom stall to eat her lunch in order to avoid physical and verbal attacks by the students.

According to the lawsuit, several of the reported incidents were witnessed by others and had been captured by surveillance cameras inside the school.

“The harassment [the child] experienced forced her to finish the 2016-2017 school year from home,” the lawsuit stated.

‘Academically advanced’ student

Young and Moffett’s daughter is “academically advanced,” and is a member of the school’s gifted program.

The student is also said to be taking advanced courses at the school.

This is the kind of mess that infuriates me about some American black people–you MUST conform, education and academic achievement is frowned upon, and folks who wish to keep you in your place are not above beating their idea of what you should be into you.

When the bloggers in this space space of ‘blackistan,’ this is what we mean. It’s a state of mind…a worldview, that does not allow for variety of thought or life choices. This is why it’s often so difficult for black women to be open to new things, people, and relationships. It’s also why the Pros & Cons Series: Dating White Men, has been such a runaway hit. So many of our fans have had their ideas and desires beaten into submission to a non-reciprocating community that concrete evidence has to be presented to the contrary for them to even entertain something different, and even then, many are resistant.

The indoctrination, social consequences, and bullying of black girls and women who think differently from the collective starts early and relentlessly. Why do you think when a black kids test the SAT and get a perfect score or gets into all the ivy league schools gets so much play in the news? Because it’s RARE. Not because we are less intelligent, and not because in general kids don’t perform that well. It’s because deep down, the black news sites that cover these stories know damn well that those kids had to navigate all kinds of nonsense in order to achieve those goals. Deep down, they know which group they had to fight tooth and nail against, and it wasn’t “whitey.”

Whatever the reasons children treat each other has anything to do with the self-destructive tendencies we as a people face post-slavery or not, I’m TIRED of making excuses for this.

Aren’t you?

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Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.