Although I’m a single woman who isn’t focused on getting dates at the moment–but that could change at any second, because really, who knows when The One ™ will come calling–I still love to read the dating stories of other women, especially black women.
India-Jewel, a writer over at xojane.com who just so happens to be a fashionable, globe-trotting black woman, has been chronicling her online dating journey in a writing series so good that she was able to snag a book deal. And, this makes me very happy indeed because 1) I like Ms. India-Jewel’s writing, and 2) I’m tired of hearing about promiscuous, drug-addled, rich white girls getting book deals to tell their tales of what it’s like being rich, drunk, and promiscuous when there are other talented writers whose works languish and never see the light of day at a major publishing house. So I guess you could say that I feel like Ms. India-Jewel getting a book deal is one of those times when a publisher gets it right, but I digress.
In a post titled “The Great Online Dating Debate: I’m still at it, plus I’ve got great “must-read” news!,” we hear about India-Jewels’ latest nuggets of hilarity from the dating battlefield. Something one of her dates, whom I’m guessing was a black man, said caught my eye. One this particular date, the guy was so negative that she dubbed him Mr. Anti-Everything.
At one point, Mr. Anti-Everything said he–and I quote and paraphrase at the same time–hates to “see beautiful Black women out with White men because White men are stealing all the Black women that Black men want.” And this came from a black man in freakin’ London, England. Aren’t black men in England dating out at like 3 times the rate of black women in England?
This same black man said along the lines of all black women having kids and that’s why he doesn’t want to date them, blah blah blah. Same old stereotype you’ve heard already (but apparently the White men are getting all the high-quality black women with no kids?–we may never know…).
After reading Ms. Jewel’s vignette we can all say that we now know what was only discussed in certain circles is becoming mainstream: More and more black women with options and sense are looking to get the best mate they can get–whatever that man’s race, color, or creed–and those who once felt entitled to the exclusive affections of black women are getting some healthy competition.
Jamila Akil is a Senior Editor at Beyond Black and White. Follow her on Twitter @jamilaakil