Can We Talk About Black Women with UnHealthy Attachments to the Church?

I often get asked to review the dating profiles of black women who are on sites like InterracialDatingCentral, but most of the time, I pass on it. It’s way too time consuming, and it’s essentially coaching and I simply don’t have the time or resources to do it for free as much as I’m asked.


But one the rare occasion I’ll take a peek. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen black women put–in either the opening sentence or within the first paragraph–something about how Jesus is their boyfriend, or say something like “one-fire Christian woman looking for on-fire Christian man!!” And these are the women who ask me why no one responds with interest.

Look, that language may work on sites like ChristianMingle, but not on secular dating sites. Young men generally aren’t in church three times a week, because they’ve got other things to do, like watch football, pursue careers, date chicks they like, go skiing with the buddies, or whatever. If a woman posts that her first and only love is to be at the church, read the Bible and go to prayer group twice a week, I sorry, but you’re going to sound really boring to the average guy. What is more, he’s going to think that, with all that “Jesus loving” you won’t have any left for him. Ladies, it’s a legit concern.

So I recently addressed this in one video, and recently discovered that a few former fans were petitioning to get it flagged off my channel. Take a look and listen.

The video was meant to be informative with a little levity. However, there were black women so offended by what I said, they said they would no longer support my channel. Which surprisingly, sort of proves my point.

The comments from the men were interesting too, and worth sharing a few:

Its really true. I do a lot of online dating…and when reading someone’s post…if there is a bunch of Jesus stuff in there….I’m instantly not interested. Just about the least attractive thing a woman can post in online dating.”
I stopped attending my church because the women were waiting on God to give them a man. One group of women is actually still waiting. They were waiting 20 years ago when I was a little boy, and now some of them are pushing 50…. no kids, and still no prospects. They wont come off it.”
But I’m not trying to knock anybody’s relationship with God. But if your really want to get dates, there are certain things that you let unfurl with time, so you give the new prospect an opportunity to know that complete you, and not just go by statements that you write that can pose so many red flags that you’re out of the game.
I tried to explain it better for the people who really didn’t get it the first time, here:

So…why is this this issue such a non-starter?


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