Crazy is as Crazy Does: Alex Jones Goes on Bazoots Gun Tirade Against Piers Morgan

It goes without saying that gun enthusiasts tend to lose their ever loving minds when any gun violence issue reaches mainstream society. And the Newtown tragedy has done just that. The devastating event seemed to touch us all. So what has been the reaction from all the gun-toting Americans out there? Well, they have called for more guns. Guns in schools. Guns in church. Guns with a fox. Guns in a box. Guns on a train. Guns in the rain. Guns up there. Guns everywhere. And Mr. Alex Jones, popular right wing radio host and conspiracy theorist, is one of the louder voices leading the crazies’ cause. Jones has railed against gun laws and even set up a petition demanding that the US government deport CNN Host, Piers Morgan, back to the UK. Since Morgan called for tighter gun laws after the Newtown tragedy, many gun advocates have honed in on him with laser-like precision. Recently, in an interview with Morgan, Jones said, well, he said this.

So, how do you address someone so totally incoherent and obviously touched? Morgan did a stellar job. But, Jones’ behavior seemed more like a five year old who has just been told he can’t have any ice cream after dinner than a grown man with a legitimate political cause. What Morgan was trying to get at was simply that any country with angry people and knives will have some violence. But, it probably won’t be gun violence. Surprisingly, knife attacks don’t result in gun homicides. I know. This is news to you. But it is true nonetheless. Many of those “you can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands” folks like to quote stats about how many tyrannical uprisings there have been in coastal Zimbabwe or how a deranged homeless person ate someone’s eye balls and brain so guns couldn’t possibly be the problem. Well, that’s because these people have absolutely no clue how to form a logical argument. Plainly, they’re idiots.

Shockingly, it continued.

You just can’t write this stuff. What type of possessed loon mimics Piers Morgan’s accent? It is his actual accent. It’s the same way he has talked since birth, I presume. And what does the mimicry prove? That Jones is a jingoistic child who’s xenophobic attitudes have obviously encroached on every portion of his brain that deals with critical thinking, speech development, memorization, or intellect.

But, of his ridiculous tirade, there is one thing with which I can agree. People’s brains do hurt people. Jones is a walking box of crazy wrapped in a bloated film of psycho. And people all over the country, all over the world even, listen to him each day expecting to learn something. What a travesty. I posit that it is low functioning brains like his that do irreparable damage to other human beings everyday. In fact, he might be a leading cause of the rampant stupidity in our communities. He’s like Type 2 brain diabetes.

Hats off to Piers Morgan whose Job-like patience shined through in an interview that was obviously painful for anyone with half a brain. But, congrats are in order to Mr. Jones. He successfully proved the case that there is no functioning, logical, or formative argument in favor of keeping a slew of rifles, machine guns, and semi-automatics on the streets and in the hands of civilians. Thank you Mr. Jones.

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