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How do I date as an introverted black woman?

Thanks for submitting your questions, readers! See below for my response 🙂

I live in Washington, DC.  I have been out of the dating scene for over 5 years.  Now, I’m ready to start dating again. I’m a true Introvert and I know this is going to be difficult for me to get back out there. For a couple of months now, there have been quite a few men approaching me.  The compliments have been very nice but I don’t deal with men who are attached. Those men that are single that have approached me have some sort of life changes that was happening and too stressful for me to get involved with.  Most of my friends are attached so I can’t really hang out with them much. Where is a good place to meet single men? It’s time for me to come out of my shell. Thank you so much.  

Ingrid Introvert


Dating is not easy, so kudos to you for getting back in the game! I definitely appreciate the struggle that comes with dating while introverted, being an introvert myself. The key to this is making sure your interactions with potential suitors are impactful, precise, and clear from the beginning – that way the time you spend making awkward small talk with dudes potentially destined for the reject pile is minimized.

When choosing date venues, stick to places you are somewhat familiar with, keep the activity to a length you can tolerate, and always have an escape plan handy. From what you’ve said in your email, I think you are doing a great job so far by rebuffing attached men and men with baggage – all too often women will jump into a relationship just to “have a man”, when the man they have is not worth having in the first place.

Being in the DC area, there are a few places available to you. If you’re into the business savvy types, check out what conferences are being held at the Convention Center, and treat yourself to a drink at the bar of an upscale restaurant nearby during the length of a conference. For example, a CFO/CIO took place one May 7th, and the description boasts “No other organization brings together the caliber of leaders and decision-makers from the government financial management community”. If you’re into techy guys, or are techy yourself, the Amazon Web Services Public Sector Summit Conference is coming up on June 10—12. A Wine Spirits and Musical Festival is coming up on June 15th. Keep an eye on the convention center event listings for the type of man you’d like to attract, and hang out at nearby restaurants!

Trip Advisor has a list of restaurants that are close to the conference center. Pick one you like, and treat yourself during one of the above mentioned events. That way, you can have your cocktail and be in the line of sight of potentially single, powerful men.

If you are into sports and are looking for a new hobby, you could take up golfing, because as they say, many deals are closed on the golf course, and Mr. Right could be one of them. Give one of those suggestions a try and be sure to let us know how it goes!


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